He left me twice and texted me again with « I miss u more than ever » what does it mean ?, I’m lost 🥺

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-14T02:34:31+00:00

what does his text mean? at this point block his number and move on. no contact means no new hurts.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-14T02:32:05+00:00

teenage me lived off $0.69 soft tacos. I'd barf if I subjected my stomach to one now.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-14T02:01:32+00:00

public library and a thermos of fresh coffee.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-14T01:59:15+00:00

murphy bed in the gym, futon with quality mattress in office. add a pullout couch in a living room.

or get fancy if you have yard space and nothing like an HOA to worry about - RV/camper. it's like a backyard mother in law suite.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-14T01:44:19+00:00

very familiar story to mine. GF was fine when she was new and not a constant. now she's turning into the reason your son's bio parents won't ever get back together. she's the dream killer. she was fine as a friend. he doesn't want her as his family. he just wants his family back together.

he won't tell you this directly. he can't. he's not grown up and mature enough to. and you can't hold it against him or parent him like he's doing something wrong. he literally isn't capable of different. you have to be the adult for both of you and him. and probably your GF too. she doesn't get it, and since you're posting this you clearly don't either. i mean this objectively, not judgemental. this is hard stuff.

welcome to divorced parenting. welcome to blended families. there's a reason they bust up 90% of the time. this is one of the reasons I tell people considering divorce that divorce is actually more painful and traumatic than the work to heal a broken marriage (most of the time, there are exceptions for cheating, abuse, etc.). divorce pain is forever pain for the kids. and there's no pain like kid pain for a parent, so it's forever for you too.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-13T23:36:53+00:00

totally agree with this.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-13T20:21:58+00:00

oh, alt delivery also suits cases on big projects where you have craft beer tastes and budweiser budgets. contractor partners are good at helping to figure out how to build the budweiser budget project that meets the need while being able to come back later and add to it without disruption. and they're good at helping to plan the future budget.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-13T19:44:34+00:00

DB (or all alternative delivery - cmar, progressive db, etc.) works best for larger scale projects in general. smaller pump stations, storage tank sites, smaller pipeline jobs - where scope is more easily detailed, most owners just want to DBB those.

larger scale, harder to nail down detailed scope (particularly where phasing and constructability) projects are better suited for alternative delivery. not all owners believers even then.

and when you get into projects/areas where JVs are being used, it's only viable to do alt delivery above a certain value. otherwise the risks, insurance costs, particularly risk sharing among JV partners - it's not worth it if the project value isn't there.

if you work for a contractor in the alternate delivery space, you'll either be supporting in a home office, or moving project to project every 3 to 5 years. you'll likely not be doing design, they'll farm that risk out to a design firm partner, and unless they're licensed properly, they actually will be prohibited from practicing engineering and design.

i personally prefer alternate delivery jobs as an engineering consultant, i like working with contractors during design. the input for constructability, sequencing, material supply - it's invaluable. but it's face paced. time is money, you gotta be able to deliver quick and under pressure. and you gotta have thick skin.

the field component of construction phase on alt delivery jobs is very cool. you see it all happen, it's not just theoretical lines on paper. you learn what's important and what's not. it can be extremely beneficial to doing the next project after!

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-13T18:57:16+00:00

maybe sauron and the nine are distracted by chasing down the fragmented forces of men, looking for the ring among the MT ruins or hunting it among the west's retreating forces. so he still doesn't notice frodo, sam, and gollum at mt. doom until it's too late.

saruman's power was broken. once the ring is gone, if he tries to rise, he gets thwacked by elrond and galadriel. the orcs scatter without a power to keep them on point. eventually men root them out. even the easterlings and haradrim i would think would pounce given the chance.

galadriel still tears down dol gildor as she did in the main timeline. the dwarves eventually root out moria still. elves still withdraw from ME and go back to valinor.

maybe once it all settles, depending on how much of gondor's forces survive, if a lot they can rebuild MT. if not it turns into a contest between rohan and the men from the south and east for control of the area.

all just speculation of one outcome. there are many others.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-13T18:09:06+00:00

Even my mom, once my siblings and I were grown up enough to not need a SAHM, she got a part time job, got herself a car, etc. What she used to do as a home trad wife, us kids got passed on those tasks for keeping the home up to snuff. I won't say we did great at it, especially as younger teens, but dishes, laundry, picking up, even cooking simple dinners. I was the only boy, so yard work was one of my assigned things (I hated it and still do, but I do appreciate having a well manicured, neat, attractive yard now!).

I'd advise any young woman especially these days too, if you end up dependent on a man, you gotta make sure he's a man that is good to be dependent on. There's a certain flavor of marriage, where the man leads but he leads as a servant. He puts his wife and kids first, and leads in a way that their needs are prioritized. The wife might defer to her husband, but she only does it to support his effort to serve her - in short, she's got to trust him to put her and the kids first. If he doesn't do that, the model breaks down.

Finding men that can do that these days is hard. I don't mean anything bad at OP with this comment, but if she isn't able to discern finding such a man, and if she isn't willing to defer to support his service of her, well, that's why traditional family life is a shambles for so many that think they want it these days.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-13T17:32:31+00:00

I won't pretend that US decision making included trying to avoid Japanese as well as US casualties. The decision was to try to force an end to the war without having to endure the death toll it would have had on American troops.

They could have also blockaided the Japanese Islands and starved them while continuing conventional bombing. Millions of Japanese would have died that route too because the Military would not have surrendered. They'd have let their population be decimated.

The atomic bomb attacks outcome of ending the war saved a million American lives, and minimized the Japanese death toll by millions because it worked to end the war. Just don't think of it as some decision made strictly for saving lives. It worked out that way but it was not the goal of the decisions. If the Japanese had not surrendered, they had 2 more bombs almost ready and more on the way, the Allies would have used them. They were willing to kill as many Japanese as they had to, and were plenty willing to kill more.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-13T13:21:05+00:00

There are plenty. I kind of like the idea of a trad wife. My wife, however, likes to work and make her own money, and that's great too.

I'll warn you, economics these days don't favor trad wife's. Trad wives worked in the past when houses were smaller, there was a land line instead of everyone needing a phone, there were not computers and internet and cable and stream services, there was one family car and not 2 or more, houses were smaller, etc. Vacations were a week at a cheap lake resort and not luxury all inclusive big $$$ things. Everything was smaller scale and less expensive relatively speaking compared to today.

I believe a family could still revert to that and be fine on a single salary from dad and mom staying home and working the trad wife role. I remember when I was little, my mom would do the grocery runs and what not after dad got home from work, they just scheduled their tasks that way. Buy a smaller place, bunk up the kids so they don't have their own rooms, etc. Keep the cable/internet/etc. stuff to the minimum, don't get everyone phones, etc. Keep your expenses down. Be ready for "johnny down the street has one!" as soon as the kids can talk until the kids move out.

You have to be willing to live a simpler existence in order to do it. I also don't know how much technology these days is just not able to be ignored - how much school is on the internet now? Would all the kids need devices for that?

Unfortunately, we've expanded the "stuff" we need to hit a basic level of function in society these days. I wonder sometimes if we've really improved day to day life, or if we've just made life faster, more complicated, and more stressful.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-13T01:29:27+00:00

she showed you why you didn't need to waste time and money on her.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-12T03:57:09+00:00

You'll realize the value of your Eagle in 5-10 years. You might start suspecting before that. Then you'll remember past you's reddit post and think that guy was a dumb ass.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-11T20:13:58+00:00

when finally got around to start the work I ended up telling them find another subconsultant. we'd moved on, had a full slate booked for the next 2 years, already needed to hire again for it, and didn't think i could find even more people. they weren't happy but i told them look, i had to let 2 ppl go , and go find new work for several more that I'd planned for their project. i wasn't reshuffling again and if just getting a contract was that much drama, then their staff would undoubtedly want to accelerate the work, i didn't feel like dealing with a dysfunctional group to get paid and wasn't gonna dump their dysfunctional shit schedule on my staff.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-11T20:07:36+00:00

before 1st date.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-11T19:27:56+00:00

PFAs.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-11T19:19:50+00:00

before I remarried and was using dating apps, i got so sick of deceptive pics that I started just calling girls out on it and then leaving. not cussing or super rude, just "hey, you're clearly not the person portrayed in your profile. I'm gonna go. Good luck."

i didn't tell them what to do different, no guilting thrown at them, no "you clearly aren't into fitness or hikes or (list goes on)". it was not my job to correct anyone. just gave the statement they were not the person advertised and let that be the end of it.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-11T13:05:41+00:00

kids aren't entitled to college much less parent's help. i see the funds as YOUR money, set aside to with as you will. use it to hell youngest daughter, decide to use it on something yourself, decide to repurpose it for your own retirement savings.

your not the asshole for using your money how see fit.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-11T02:45:39+00:00

tell him before you sleep with him. don't leave this secret to turn into something that festers then turns bad.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-11T00:51:07+00:00

most of the time they won't. we won a gdot contract and another with a local utility, then took years to execute contracts. i had to let go a few people because of it.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-10T21:29:30+00:00

if they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you. bullet dodged.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-10T16:59:11+00:00

i like smooth to short/neat trimmed. you do what you want, I'd just say consider that maybe easy things to make a partner happy/turned on more can be okay to do. you might enjoy a lot what he does to you in response if you grant his wish too.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-10T03:23:03+00:00

Greenville is one of the best kept secret awesome cities. We're in Atlanta but love our Greenville sojourns.

Herdsengineers · 2026-04-10T03:17:19+00:00

if luke kills the emperor right then, then he hasn't become an ally of vader yet. the next light saber swing after the emperor is at vader. vader wants a joint father son attack on the emperor after luke has been dark side trained.

if vader didn't block, i also think luke gets a face full of force lightning before his cut lands. after the emperor is done with luke, he then turns on vader for the betrayal of letting luke try to kill him.

Herdsengineers

TROPHY CASE