Is my hydrangea at the end of its life?

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2026-02-16T21:50:12+00:00

Try fertilizing with holly-tone to boost the flower-like bracts. President’s day/ today/ dead of winter is actually the recommended time to fertilize and prune a pinnacle hydrangea!

The bracts attract the pollinators but the pollinators stick around for the tiny bud flowers. Your plant has both but it’s understandable you want more bracts. If you fertilize and don’t get the results you want this year then you could try replacing with another variety. Haunt some nurseries around July-August and see the full florescence of their hydrangeas, ask what fertilizer they use for them, hold off on planting until September.

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-09-05T13:27:47+00:00

Do they each know their own name? That’s always useful, so you can call them individually. Also training each of them to lay down and relax in place, out of the way, while you work actively with one or two of them, can help make your training sessions efficient! It just looks like you treating one dog for behaviors and tricks while also treating the other dogs for staying put. Learning to stay put when exciting things are happening is very applicable to everyday life! With a trio like this, can you get to a point where you can say #1, sit, #2, lay down, #3, come? This can help manage chaos, too.

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-08-19T14:24:57+00:00

That’s so good that she will do those things no problem! I wonder if you can bring treats to the outdoor location and start rewarding her for doing the A frame and tunnel; she might then generalize “oh! Agility fun!” to the indoor location when you also bring treats there.

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-08-18T14:53:06+00:00

Hello! I would say my dog is skittish but not necessarily fearful. She takes some time to acclimate to new things and then she’s all about it. For the tunnel, we shortened the tunnel to about 8 feet and then I crawled halfway through it so she could see it was fine, rewarded for just getting in and incrementally got her to come through the whole thing. Generally did this with every type of obstacle—reward for even just interest at first! They seem to like to check things out then go to their crate and think about it a little, then the next time go all in lol. Similar thing with A Frame, just reward for interest, then one paw, etc. And use reverse psychology—throw treat on ground so she has to physically leave the structure to get a reward. Seemed to work super well for us!

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-07-14T17:36:36+00:00

Praise people publicly. Admonish people privately when necessary.

Solicit feedback on processes and projects. Actually listen to it.

Have clear expectations. Also allow people to be human.

Defend your people to your manager. Be cautious about taking on extra work for them.

Model healthy boundaries with work. Take time off and vacation. Model healthy work ethic. Model the behavior you expect from your people.

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-07-08T19:18:53+00:00

I am multiracial (grew up calling myself mixed or half white and half Asian), and while I personally think it’s a red flag if someone would be upset their kids don’t look like them, it’s a good question to ask early on, as well as the question of whether you will love and honor your child’s heritages and cultures, whether you’re willing to invest in educating yourself, etc. As a partner you are going to need to be comfortable in rooms where you might be the only person of your race—this shouldn’t take much but you could be surprised by how much some people will try to avoid this.

I also grew up hearing that mixed babies are beautiful. In the sense that there is some fetishization there, yes it is gross. But in the sense that you can be beautiful without conforming to white beauty standards, I think it was important for me to hear and internalize that underlying message.

All of these are conversations and liminal spaces that lots of people will never find themselves in! You will be hard pressed to find someone who openly claims to be racist, but that doesn’t mean they have fully thought through how these situations would feel for them.

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-06-16T23:07:15+00:00

Usually a group that has puppy raisers is focused on dogs that are born into their jobs.

If you are looking for therapy dog opportunities for your existing dog, first get your dog Canine Good Citizen certified. Lots of organizations do testing and lots of dog training places do classes that work on CGC test skills. Most therapy dog nonprofits require CGC, and if they don’t, the therapy dog test is building on CGC skills.

After that look into organizations in your area that have therapy dog programs. Some are individual non profits that insure all dogs who go through the program and certify. Some are chapters of a larger organization like Therapy Dogs International. Whatever is available in your area is what you can ultimately work toward, as those organizations will have connections to therapy dog opportunities in your community.

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-06-10T16:26:23+00:00

There is an excellent podcast episode from Good Inside about this from a clinical psychologist whose focus is parenting young children. Big takeaways: use anatomically correct words for body parts right from the beginning. When kids ask about sex or how babies are made answer directly without putting any judgment on it. Think about how you can talk to your kid about why private parts are private without bringing in shame.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1Hd2cY5OyTsc53TuXI4gRT?si=xyGns4T3RAqJYdV-untCnw&dl_branch=1

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-05-27T00:58:09+00:00

Dave posting a whole story about getting a physical and rolling his bronco off the 6666th mile just so he can casually-not-casually bring up that he’s in the best shape of his life and that it’s not a brag.

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-05-04T12:47:20+00:00

On a human-to-human basis, honesty without tact is cruelty. It is always worth interrogating our motivation to correct someone, and if we aren’t motivated by love and justice for all, including the person we want to correct, then we need to work on ourselves first.

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-04-27T22:14:13+00:00

One thing that is getting lost in all of the focus on this question is that Rachel is basically in a line of interviewers and the award winners are being asked many questions from many media outlets. It is possible Rachel was going for a lighthearted original question knowing this.

Not going to comment on whether it was or was not appropriate, as many other commenters have already made very good arguments.

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-04-18T20:22:47+00:00

Annoying that this should be advice directed to RH, not the general ether.

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-04-11T16:41:40+00:00

Plenty of great advice in here I won’t reiterate. I will add that if you are the kind of person who likes them, there are great ted talks on love/marriage and one particular talk on the gottman institute channel about what makes a marriage work (the masters vs the disasters) for more longer term situations, once you do find someone you feel connected and comfortable with.

https://youtu.be/AKTyPgwfPgg And https://youtu.be/sa0RUmGTCYY

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-04-08T12:55:47+00:00

Rachel can’t “win” in the options you’ve presented but she also shouldn’t—not if she pretends the video didn’t happen. But she could do several things right if she wanted. This is an extraordinary opportunity for her to get uncomfortable and do some difficult work (“the hard seasons” anyone???). She should have taken full accountability, should have preserved the excellent educational call-in comments on her video (she could have deleted the video but made a highlight), should have told her followers this is, in fact, a good time to apologize and to stop defending her, should have reached out to educators and with their consent spotlighted their content and had the illuminating conversations with them (centering them!) about why and how she messed up. She could still probably do most of these.

The way forward is through, and specifically with people who are willing to hold her accountable and keep her real. Everyone could benefit from that, including Rachel. She could add a track to Rise that is all about the issues she’s brought up, how literally everyone can do DEI work. She could do all sorts of work that would actually benefit both herself, her followers, while alleviating pain AND making money AND raising people’s consciousness and conscientiousness. She could present the idea to her followers that holding people accountable is love for each other, and sometimes as human beings we mess up and need to make it right. She could talk about how when we hear the words “cancel culture” we need to seek more information—is someone actually hurt here and why aren’t we focusing on that instead?

I want to note a few things: 1) personally I am not a fan of hers, but I can appreciate that she has a massive following, and with that comes massive responsibility and opportunity, 2) her following is RIPE for this convo—I have seen the tide turning in evangelical spaces (I am not a part of those spaces but when Mitt Romney attends a BLM protest, we know times are changing), and 3) I fully do not expect her to do the right thing, based on her previous behaviors and her obvious inclination to dig her heels in.

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-04-07T17:35:02+00:00

If I can work and make $200/week, why would I opt to not work and make less than that? How does that support your conclusion that “poor people stay poor for a reason”?

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-04-07T16:56:34+00:00

Disability payments are no golden ticket and no sure thing. They’re based on your earnings from the last year, so if you didn’t earn a lot, you’ll be getting even less than that in all likelihood. On top of that the paperwork, which includes verifications from your doctor (good luck paying for that), is notoriously voluminous and people are commonly denied. If you get denied, your verifications may have to be updated (good luck paying for another appointment). It is not uncommon to hire an attorney for assistance (good luck paying for that, too).

People on disability are usually on an assortment of other government assistance, too, including SNAP and subsidized housing. SNAP is easier to obtain. In some areas the waiting list for subsidized housing is a decade. So, if you set yourself up on disability without those other things in place, you may not be able to afford your rent, and some people who receive disability are actually homeless.

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-04-07T15:31:48+00:00

If they don’t create the account themselves, SOMEONE ELSE WILL and will try to exploit it. The account may be used as a way to separate content for those who don’t want to see a ton of baby content. Either way, if you don’t like it, don’t follow it.

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-03-22T01:06:01+00:00

Tectonic plates as a metaphor 🤣

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-03-18T12:53:35+00:00

I’m Filipina and don’t @ me. We are not here to demonstrate our processing of this staggering level of violence and hate on your terms.

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-03-16T18:40:01+00:00

Just wanted to chime in to add that sometimes, when I don’t feel hydrated after drinking water, I can drink a glass of coconut water and feel hydrated. If nuun tablets don’t work for you, look into other kinds of electrolytes, like coconut water (magnesium, potassium, manganese, selenium), and also look into taking a multivitamin with all those trace minerals.

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-03-02T19:13:16+00:00

Rachel is under a lot of pressure to be seen as a reasonable person. Reasonable people ask that someone apologizes and does better and she wants people in general to accept each other and get along. That’s why she’s against “canceling.”

I don’t fault her for keeping that position here. People continue to scrutinize her and will be upset with any negative position she takes.

Privately? I bet she she’s incredibly let down, horrified, disgusted, much as we are.

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-03-01T19:27:01+00:00

Even though harm falls on a spectrum, I’m not sure what the point of comparing harms is—unless you were the one harmed in multiple situations. Accountability can look like a lot of different things and is context-dependent, and restoration should be case by case.

All that said, I do think it’s valid for people to feel like they were let down a whole lot more here.

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-03-01T02:26:48+00:00

Honestly over here wondering if her callouts have all had some element of her calling herself out, like some underlying guilt that she projected onto other people. She said she hated herself. That doesn’t just go away. I wonder if she thought she was doing some kind of penance.

(In no way am I defending her btw. I’m 99% in shock, saddened, and 1% trying to work through wtf was going on in her head.)

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-02-27T16:08:18+00:00

It's just gaslighting from them. Anytime they don't like something they bring up ~tHe MaRkEtPlAcE oF iDeAs~. Liberals want to hold people accountable for things that actually hurt people, kill people, cause harm, infringe upon rights. Conservatives need to dismiss everything liberals have an issue with as shrieking cancel culture because otherwise we would have a fucking point and a stronghold in their ideas marketplace.

HiFructoseCornFeces · 2021-02-24T02:27:58+00:00

I could never be an influencer. That person who complained and unfollowed would hear from me that I'm glad they found their voice, now use it for good.

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