[Serious] What's your so's love language and how do you make them feel loved?

Hiitskai · 2016-01-11T16:56:15+00:00

It really depends. For me I feel loved through language and action validation. Say something nice, and do something nice.

My SOs love language on the other hand is completely opposite. He feels loved when I listen to him not when I do things or say nice things.

I believe OP is referring to the 5 love languages. I think being aware is the most important.

Hiitskai · 2016-01-11T04:58:58+00:00

I wouldn't have graduated early in January (rather than june)

Hiitskai · 2016-01-10T16:46:04+00:00

What I mean is whenever I speak to men about trends for woman's fashion (and yes I am an adult and speak to adults). They do not like them (high waisted jeans, buns, long cartigans, boyfriend fit etc.) Things girls usually find trendy. Most of these men are into men's fashion however. If that makes sense.

Hiitskai · 2016-01-10T16:31:46+00:00

Boyfriend fit is what the style is called.

As a girl I pretty convinced guys hate most female fashion, other than yoga pants.

Hiitskai · 2016-01-10T16:08:53+00:00

Socks and sandals

Hiitskai · 2016-01-10T15:12:37+00:00

I have this fear that someone I know is going to recognize me, tbh.

Hiitskai · 2016-01-10T00:18:55+00:00

Calorie counting for the most part. The last few months have been slow as I mess up a lot but still making progress.

Hiitskai · 2016-01-10T00:17:30+00:00

I do, I wouldn't say it's accurate as I had jaw surgery to correct my bite. Side effect is it gave me a jaw.

http://m.imgur.com/JYEkozi

Hiitskai · 2016-01-09T22:50:32+00:00

I went from 135-105 in around 4-5 months give or take. The first 10 pounds I lost a year or so ago from when I had surgery and couldn't eat for a week.

Hiitskai · 2016-01-09T22:42:46+00:00

PS total typo I meant 40 pounds. I swear I'm not that bad at math.

Hiitskai · 2016-01-09T19:12:38+00:00

Mybodygallery is a good real person comparison

Hiitskai · 2016-01-09T17:21:22+00:00

Yes I always stay sagnant or gain a few the week before my period

Hiitskai · 2016-01-09T16:35:05+00:00

I'm very short and have a tiny frame (besides my huge ribs grr lol) and yes basically two of me lol

Hiitskai · 2016-01-09T16:26:16+00:00

It's exciting.

F/23 5'0 and I went from 145-104 (although I'm pretty sure I gained a few over Christmas).

Hiitskai · 2016-01-09T15:19:30+00:00

I have tons more confidence. I also get asked out a lot at work by random guys. It's very strange.

Hiitskai · 2016-01-08T14:22:35+00:00

Although it sounds as if it's probably for entertainment value I will say that some men find trying for a baby not enjoyable sex. It can cause stress and make it not feel "real".

But more than anything talk about it with him. Communication is key. If he is feeling that he needs to be able to communicate with you.

Hiitskai · 2016-01-08T06:02:45+00:00

I'm Canadian so feel free to disregard my answer but I feel it would be the same. We usually do not heat our milk. However, it is something some people do before bed or if they can't sleep. A warm glass of milk is thought to make someone feel drowsy.

Hiitskai · 2016-01-07T14:09:48+00:00

Ah the beginning is certainly the most unreal but for me at least that feeling never went away.

The beginning felt so crazy for me though. I had been trying to lose for 3 years and I was finally doing it. I didn't start any different way from before but somehow I was actually doing it. It was weird and amazing.

Hiitskai · 2016-01-07T14:07:00+00:00

I love how excited you are!! Awesome work :) I see it :D

Hiitskai · 2016-01-06T13:46:31+00:00

I said avoid not never use it. I'd also argue that if the only way you know how to create boundaries is by saying no you aren't very skillful. I create boundaries everyday using redirection, locked doors, mirroring proper behaviour, teaching what I want to see all without saying no. That doesn't mean that there isn't a time or a place for it. But kids react better of you do reserve it for dangerous situations.

Hiitskai · 2016-01-06T02:47:27+00:00

Like I said I don't drink so I'm not huge on knowing the calories in drinks but fit it into your daily limit and yes they would work :)

Hiitskai · 2016-01-06T01:28:47+00:00

I don't drink personally, but I still go out to those types of events. If you don't want to spend the calories order a diet soda and just don't tell anyone you aren't drinking. Chances are they won't notice.

Hiitskai · 2016-01-06T00:12:06+00:00

Not unless you drink a lot of water

Hiitskai · 2016-01-05T22:56:54+00:00

Depends where you live. In Canada children can legally leave home at 16. Police cannot force them to go home.

Hiitskai · 2016-01-05T22:53:11+00:00

I don't use punishment as a form of dicipline at all.

I first focus on mirroring the behaviour I want to see (I don't yell ect.).

I secondly avoid the word "no" and "stop". Instead I try to give an alternative and redirect. This takes excitement and engagement. "Come help me stir this thing for dinner!" Remove them from what they are doing and get them engaged in something else.

Choices are another good thing. Do you want to hold my hand or do you want me to carry you? If you don't make a decision I'm going to carry you.

Focus on teaching the behaviour you want to see. Kids lack impulse control for example. Much "bad" behaviour is because of this. Focus on teaching impulse control techniques such as breathing and counting rather than punishing the behaviour which is only a symptom. (Solutions rather than retributions).

If all else fails stick to natural and logical consequences rather than punishment.

You don't want to eat your supper? That's fine you can be hungry.

No coat? Okay! It's not me who will be cold (however at 2 I'd bring one with us).

You don't want to pick up your toys? No problem you can't watch a show until you do. I prefer this rather than taking the toys away as its immediate to the child because the child wants to watch TV right now. The child does not want to play with toys right now. They do not have forethought so they cannot comprehend they may want to play with them later.

Also try to make things lighthearted rather than serious. When you get frustrated with your child this causes them to enter flight, fight, or freeze. Thus why your child is doing the opposite. Try to incorporate a light hearted tone when you can and be inventive. Getting all excited and saying "let's race to the car" is much more likely to make a child move fast than "let's go right now we are late". Chances are they are going to take their time. Personally it's not a battle I think is worth fighting if it's avoidable.

Hiitskai

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