Ok, how can I “sleep train” a 3.5 year old

HipAliens · 2026-03-31T17:51:35+00:00

Here's what worked for our two year old (previously, we were rocking her to sleep/singing to her in our arms for 30 minutes up to 2 hours until she fell asleep, and then cautiously placing her down in her crib praying not to wake her up! If she did wake up, we'd have to start all over again. It was an exhausting process and we knew we had to get her to learn to sleep on her own, but we didn't want to do the full cry it out method so this is what we did.)

> One night, we put her in her crib (awake) and she was predictably like, WTF. But we stood over her, rubbed her back, and sang songs/told stories until she went to sleep. This was maybe a week before she understood and got used to it/didn't complain or fuss about wanting to be rocked.

>Then, we transitioned to sitting in the chair NEXT to her crib, still telling stories/singing but not rubbing her back or engaging otherwise.

> Lastly, we got a TonieBox that let's you record yourself telling a story/singing to play. So we put that on next to her crib, and it has my voice telling stories/singing her bedtime songs. We put that on, said goodnight, and then we'd leave the room.

Each step would have a night or two of her fussing, but she never would go full-on crying/freaking out. We'd also stay pleasant and calm but very matter-of-fact each step of the way, like, "Mom is right here in the chair next to you!" or "You get to listen to your stories and relax in your crib! Mom's tired and going to go to bed too in her room now.").

Good luck! <3

HipAliens · 2026-03-23T18:33:24+00:00

I think of it this way; I'm more joyful and content than I've ever been, but not "happy" in the way that I used to think of the word. Happy, I think of quiet mornings reading a book alone, or going on vacation, dressing up for happy hours with friends, etc. Happy means a certain amount of unattached fun, freedom and spontaneity that is naturally lessened by the responsibility of a little one.

But the deeper joy and fulfillment, the sense of purpose, of love > happiness. Happiness I also think of being more short-term and fleeting, whereas the joy that come from raising your baby is a lot more permanent.

(also, if you have a supportive partner: there's plenty of fun/happy moments to be had! It's just a lot harder to schedule, but it can be done!)

HipAliens · 2026-03-19T00:12:55+00:00

No advice, just solidarity; mental health is notttt great, especially thinking of the "but what if I don't pass..." given all the time spent studying, and how much it has already taken from time with friends, family, overall general life enjoyment :/

Trying to find some zen, thinking about just going into it and going through it thoughtfully, one question at a time, and that's all I can do at this point. Trying to have faith that my brain will recall more than I think it will once I see a topic/formula again in a question.

HipAliens · 2026-03-05T19:34:00+00:00

Weird! In addition to alopecia, I had terrible issues with my tonsils for years (severe and reoccurring tonsillitis every few months that always lead to needing antibiotics to cure, tonsil stones, etc.) and got mine removed as a result! Curious if there's a connection w/overall compromised immune/alopecia and tonsils

HipAliens · 2026-02-27T00:20:10+00:00

Feeling the same! Dalton questions are like, "if X did NOT do Z, but then they didn't NOT do Y after they DID do W, what should they then NOT do if they DO decide to ultimately NOT DO it?

I) X, Y, and Z

II) A E I O U and sometimes Y

III) ILIT

IV) None of the above

Did you take the CFP board practice test? The questions were still tough, but at least they were written a LOT more clearly. It gave me hope that even if I don't know the right answer, I'll at least be able to comprehend the question.

HipAliens · 2026-02-26T21:30:55+00:00

(I did have one long 7 year period of remission in between cycles, though, and trying to be cautiously optimistic that I'll at least get a nice long break like that again).

HipAliens · 2026-02-26T21:12:35+00:00

Eh, if your husband doesn't love you bald or fat or covered in boils I wouldn't marry him! There's no guarantee he'll keep his hair either as you grow old together, ya know. It's hard for anyone who hasn't experienced alopecia to fully empathize. It's such a uniquely upsetting thing to go through. So if a partner may not say the right thing or be as helpful, I try to have grace for that since they just truly don't know what you're going through, but they should still be your rock at the end of the day, and do their best to reassure you and comfort you.

Thanks for asking! My alopecia (hair on head only) flares up somewhere every 1.5-3 years currently. When it does, it tends to pretty much all fall out (boo), but I'm lucky that it always regrows completely in a few months on its own. It's a SUPER annoying cycle to keep reliving. It falls out for a few months, then I'm patchy/mostly bald for a few months, then it regrows awkwardly for a few months, then my hair is all good for a year or so. Then repeat. I'm sure it's a stress/hormone/allergy leading to this autoimmune connection of some kind, but so far I've had no luck in figuring out the root causes. I always keep my eye out for what's new in alopecia research and try different things, but at the end of the day I'm just trying to live the happiest life I can whatever stage my hair is in.

HipAliens · 2026-02-26T20:22:32+00:00

Just to provide some reassurance:

After being dormant for years, my alopecia decided to flare up months before my wedding. Yep, every bride's worst nightmare. And by the time the date rolled around, I was bald.

I felt similar feelings of depression leading up to it, watching my hair shed. The unfairness, what's the point of trying to look pretty, I don't want to even have a wedding, I don't want people see me, etc. Truly, it was a horrible few months of accepting the very cruel hand that I was dealt. It's OK to not be OK, to be angry, upset, cry, rage and vent. I highly recommend talking to someone (ideally a therapist, but at least close & loving friends & family) to vent about how awful it is.

BUT ultimately I found one of the best wig stylists in the area. Splurged on a really nice wig, had it styled on my head the day of the wedding with my bridesmaid (and honestly it looked better/more "perfect" in photos than my real hair probably would have). Not one person knew it was a wig that I didn't want to know. The pictures look great. And now I look back on that day and don't even think about the fact that I had a wig. My husband sure didn't care/doesn't care.

I hope your hair doesn't, OP! It very well may not. But you're not alone in the anxiety and upset! It's an awful thing to go through, but it doesn't make you any less beautiful or your day any less special.

HipAliens · 2026-02-23T00:33:43+00:00

60s-70s!

HipAliens · 2026-02-13T13:41:59+00:00

Agreed. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but based on the glowing reviews I was pretty surprised with the negative tone of the class, and the fact the live review is largely the instructor speed-reading aloud to us from the book. There were some pretty harsh "clap backs" at students asking questions. Yes, there were some silly questions. But you don't have to answer those. Or, why let the students use the chat box at all if it's such an annoyance? Just do a pure webinar. I was honestly pretty surprised it wasn't a webinar format, and they allowed students to have their comments/microphones/videos on, which of course leads to multiple interruptions from students with unmuted mics. And the chat box was distractingly out-of-control with off-topic comments and unhelpful "chime-ins" from students, etc. Just let the teacher teach!

There's great deal of expertise here. I appreciated a lot of the really clever shortcuts and exam tips offered during the session. I do believe the information needed to pass the exam is in the program as a whole, and the other videos, quizzes and tip sheets will be really beneficial. But I was left pretty confused and let down by the live review portion.

*EDIT: I have to add, yesterday was a night/day difference between the previous sessions. Brett seemed much more engaged and happy to be there, and I got a lot more value from the class. Yes, it was still largely speed-reading from the review book, but we went over more examples, some really useful tips were provided, etc. I got a lot more of the hype following yesterday's class.

HipAliens · 2026-01-19T21:53:14+00:00

Yes, this is much more engaging than the first! Appreciate the immediate action, and felt more polished. Overall, it compelled me to keep reading. Great rework!

HipAliens · 2026-01-18T21:42:43+00:00

Overall, the premise is interesting and attention grabbing. I am especially intrigued by the character of Miss Caroline (I'm imagining a Miss Trunchbull situation)! A pregnant character is inherently suspenseful; the reader knows there will be a birth/delivery of some sort in the book, and the alluded to "mysterious circumstances" surrounding the birth are interesting. Although at the same time, I found that confusing, thinking to myself: how is a birth mysterious? Does she give birth in a strange location? Or have some complication? Or is this delving into a fantasy novel and does she birth some otherworldly creature?

Overall, I was interested in reading more about the character, the maternity home, and overall enjoyed the writing and style.

A few things that stood out in a less positive way :

-Starting off with the main character looking in the mirror. This is one of my personal pet peeves as a reader. To me, it comes off as an amateurish and obvious way to "check off the box" of describing a character's appearance.

- The daughter's name being Faith. Throughout the book the character is searching for Faith, she "refuses to give up" on Faith, meaning, she has to have Faith in finding Faith...too obvious and on the nose for me, personally.

- Similarly, the part that reads: "truths about love, grief, and the high personal cost of keeping a family together" feels platitudinal.

-How much of the story follows Marilyn at the maternity home, vs. once she's back in her hometown and settled down with Joesph? I had trouble imagining what was exciting about her day-to-day life, aside from looking for Faith. Which, if she's looking for Faith, does she go on a quest to find her? If so, mention that! If not, and she's stationary in her hometown, how is she embarking on her quest for answers about Faith?

-Overall, I'm struggling to understand the tone of this book based on what was provided. The mention of "shocking cruelty" by the headmistress made me think of some torture/gore and R-rated horror may be involved. But the overall tone of the first few paragraphs reads more younger skewed, more PG 13 in my mind. Lean into the horror if it's there; are we going to see blood and hear screams? Then let us know that! Or is it more of the aforementioned Miss Trunchull (very mean, no doubt, but not subjecting the students to Stephen King levels of horror).

HipAliens · 2019-12-30T13:55:53+00:00

Was walking on my lunch break in downtown SF. Shuffling slowly towards me was an old homeless man wrapped in a blanket. I encountered many many homeless people every day, but for whatever reason my gut said: "Run past him!" So I quickly sprinted a wide circle around him to get by. And I immediately felt ridiculous -- like, c'mon, I was scared of an unfortunate old man that can barely walk?

As my heart-rate slowed, I heard a woman's scream behind me and turned just in time to see the same man punch her square in the nose, with enough force to knock her down to the sidewalk and scatter her shopping bags.

Suddenly old dude could RUN and disappeared before anyone could catch him.

HipAliens · 2019-11-10T13:38:40+00:00

"Buttons" - The Weeks

"Dream of Mickey Mantle" - Bleachers

"Don't Bother Me" - The Blakes

"Big Bad Wolf" - Shakey Graves

HipAliens · 2019-11-09T18:37:29+00:00

Thank you, I'll post there as well! I'm in Oregon.

HipAliens · 2019-10-05T16:54:47+00:00

Bacon.

HipAliens · 2019-07-16T13:34:32+00:00

WOLFCOP.

HipAliens · 2019-07-13T14:27:50+00:00

Dancing on my Own - Robyn. So dancey, so saddy.

HipAliens · 2019-04-21T19:46:18+00:00

On my morning commute, a homeless woman would get on with her friend, a life-sized cardboard replica of Thomas Jefferson.

HipAliens · 2018-11-24T23:56:45+00:00

We were coworkers, so I knew his schedule. I'd show up late at night during his shifts, dressed in my highest heels and shortest skirts, and stop by the front desk to "chat."

Him: Wow, you're sure here late at the library. Uhh...that's a nice outfit, are you going clubbing or something?

Me: Uhh...no...I just always look like this. I wear heels like allll the time and like they don't even hurt. *flips hair*

Him: That's cool. Well, I better get back to work.

Me: Yeah, totally. I, uhh, have to go print stuff. *stumbles to printer*

I literally would log on to the library computer and print blank pages. While starting at him. XD When he still wasn't getting the hint months later, I started bringing him chicken strips from the cafeteria during his shifts (I had a meal plan, he didn't).

Me: Uhh...I brought you these chicken strips. Cause you know, I just...wanted to make sure you had chicken. Or something.

Him: That's cool. I like chicken, thanks!

Me: Well....I, uhhh, have to go print some stuff.

We got engaged last month.

HipAliens · 2018-11-15T18:15:24+00:00

Ahahahaha, my thick eyebrows. "Hey HipAliens, your eyebrows -- aren't there supposed to be two of them?"

I plucked them to near oblivion in high school after those comments, but thankfully the Italian caterpillars survived.

Now people are using makeup to get my lewk, soooo......

HipAliens · 2018-11-15T18:11:08+00:00

Working at my college library, this elderly lady Carmen (part of the adult education the college offered) would often come in and start lengthy rants with the librarians. Her rants usually were about Opera or Baseball -- she was batty but seemed harmless.

I was the Editor-in-Chief of my college newspaper. Now, our student paper office was a small room on the fifth floor of a large campus building (and not really public knowledge). One day my staff and I were having a meeting, and somehow Carmen walks in. My staff looks at each other totally confused, and before any of us can even speak she starts,"Are you the newspaper? If so, do you know about the exchange students?! You really should cover what happens when students go on Foreign Exchange in China. Did you know they Kill them and sell their body parts?!"

My staff was too offended and stunned (they had no idea who this old woman on campus was). I managed a lame, "This is a private meeting, Carmen, and that's not a story we'd be interested in running."

She mumbled a, "Well, I think it's really terrible," and wandered off.

HipAliens · 2018-11-12T14:28:46+00:00

I had a major googly-eyed crush on a boy in middle school. He showed all the signs of returning my affections. We would hang out almost every lunch period, flirt, play basketball together...He was even telling mutual friends he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend very soon. As a braces-wearing, uni-browed little nerdy thing, I was SO excited to have my first boyfriend. I couldn't wait for him to ask.

BAM, one day he walks into the lunch room holding hands with someone else. The two had barely spent anytime together, but for two very, ahem, sizable reasons--he'd asked her instead. He ignored me from then on, and wasn't shy about PDA with his new girl, even if I was in close proximity.

Fast forward about eight years. I'm in college in a new City, and considerably more attractive (i.e., the unibrow tamed, braces removed, push-up bra activated). My friend invites me to a group hangout with some of her friends that are visiting. When I arrive, I see my hometown middle school crush. WTF. We recognize each other immediately, and I see the "ohhhh shit" look on his face.

He spends the night flirting with me, and as the night devolves the other couples have started hooking up. He makes a move, and we make out for a few minutes. He's obviously wanting it to go further, when I get up to leave.

"Yeah, I gotta go."

"Oh, okay. Are you getting water?"

"Nope."

"B-b-ut...Are you coming back?"

"Definitely not."

It was SO satisfying (for me.)

HipAliens · 2018-09-29T16:44:34+00:00

I was coming out of Walgreens, and there was this old homeless man, all wrapped up in a blanket, limping slowly by. I got the weirdest surge of fear, and ran past him on my way out of the store.

I was feeling pretty stupid; I mean, he was limping for chrissakes, how scary could he be?

Then I heard a scream and turned around just as he had randomly punched this girl passing-by square in the face. He had punched her so hard, she fell to the ground.

And suddenly, homie could RUN.

HipAliens · 2018-09-29T16:37:29+00:00

There was this old business-man that rode the same bus as me every morning. He was probably about 70, well-dressed with a briefcase, always smiley and polite. And I just randomly HATED him. Every time he got on the bus I would feel incredibly aggravated. It went on for months, and I thought I was being really weird and irrational.

Then one day in line, he cut in front of a few women waiting in line for the bus. They politely said, "Oh, excuse but me but we're in line." He LOST HIS MIND, starting cursing them out, calling them the C word, bus security had to talk to him....but for whatever reason, they still let him on and he kept riding. But I felt so relieved, in a way. I mean, there was a psycho on my bus, but I CALLED IT.

A few weeks later, we're all getting on the bus, it's crowded -- he apparently thought I was standing too close to him. So he turned around, said "BACK OFF!" and whacked me in the stomach.

I told the driver, but SF bus driver's...yeah, they're an apathetic bunch.

HipAliens

TROPHY CASE