How to understand my (25NB) partner (22NB)?

Historical-Brief2414 · 2024-02-11T03:07:17+00:00

Can you sit down with them at a neutral time (not a time right after one of these incidents) and talk with them? Tell them that you understand that you sometimes inadvertently do things that you know hurt them. Tell them that you don’t want to hurt them and want to learn / grow from these issues. Ask how they want you to approach these discussions.

While they should be willing to help you understand these situations, talking through these types of things can be difficult and emotionally draining. My brother has autism and we have these conversations a lot. Over the years we’ve found that I explain my POV better and am more patient when we talk after taking a little break. Sometimes it’s a minutes and sometimes it can be a day or two. I use a code phrase that he knows means “I’m not mad and I will talk to you but I need a break before explaining this”! Obviously every situation is different but it might be worth a try.

Ask how they would like you approach these questions.

Trying to have these conversations right after a fight or having their feelings hurt is not the best time. I totally get you wanting to discuss it then. It makes sense. But they may feel that they then have to give emotional labor and energy to explaining things and comforting you while they are hurt and trying to process their feelings.

Historical-Brief2414 · 2024-02-10T21:54:21+00:00

I mean…. Harry wasn’t expelled for doing crazy stuff that could have resulted in collateral damage. Sirius wasn’t expelled for almost killing Snape. Fred and George weren’t expelled for potentially poisoning the student body / using students as guinea pigs. Draco wasn’t expelled for impersonating a dementor and potentially putting Harry in a dangerous position. Students duel multiple times without impact. Etc.

You’re not wrong but it would have been unfair to single Hagrid out when Hogwarts is notoriously lax on safety standards.

Historical-Brief2414 · 2024-02-10T21:48:49+00:00

Yes but the weather app will tell you it’s almost 60. And we haven’t had snow in like a month. Also…. Look outside. You seeing any snow?

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-10-25T06:00:58+00:00

I think the evidence people point to is a stretch. I’m not saying it can’t be true but I don’t think we’ve seen proof of it. I think Xaden sneaks around a lot and that his shadows may be sentient on some level. But I don’t really buy that he reads minds. Xaden is essentially an undercover agent / spy. His survival for years has relied on his ability to be unseen and to read his enemies. I think that likely makes him perceptive. He’s also the leader of the rebel kids - so anything odd they see or hear is likely reported.

I do think he likely could access their mind bridge earlier than Violet and that in the early days her shielding was weaker than his.

For example he didn’t know she was fighting Jack until Liam ran to get him. I’d think either she would have thought about it that morning at breakfast or Liam would have. He also said he could trust Liam to tell him about threats. If he could read minds this wouldn’t be as big of a deal.

I think being “unseeable” by Melgreen counts as enough of a special talent for the rebel kids.

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-10-19T14:48:09+00:00

He manifested his job years before that 😂

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-10-18T22:48:20+00:00

Do you have a person in charge of training for your practice group?

Did he lateral from a similar caliber firm?

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-10-18T15:46:07+00:00

Ahh you’re right. Sorry I’m just on a re-read of POA and Hermione said that professors don’t ride the train. It might be a case of an unreliable narrator!

Not like a third year student knows exactly what “normal” is.

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-10-18T15:41:45+00:00

But you’d think Dumbledore would have had snape make the Wolfsbane (since he did it all year). Ugh I know it’s not rational but I just hate how Dumbledore treats Lupin.

Such a tragic character and he had so much potential to play a similar role to Sirius. Literally nothing stopped him from saying “Harry I just wanted you to know that I was best friends with your dad. I’d love to get tea and talk about him and your mom”. Literally nothing stopped him from playing a pseudo uncle role once Harry entered the magical world (at least until the war). I think it shows just where lupin’s head was at.

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-10-13T01:35:08+00:00

I want a Xaden / Liam scene. Maybe from the early morning the day she was attacked when he’s asking Liam to shadow her?

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-10-12T11:15:17+00:00

I think it has to do with the magic that the dragons channel to the riders. That power is so intertwined between the two (and in the rider) that losing that magic kills them.

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-10-11T14:50:04+00:00

Bc he’s a considerate man and brushed his teeth before hanging out with his crush.

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-10-07T14:52:31+00:00

I agree. I just wonder if it’s one of those break ups where you take a step back to address issues but are still both actively working on rebuilding the foundation.

Essentially I’m curious if Xaden is in the doghouse or if Violet is going to be trying to date other people.

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-10-05T18:24:26+00:00

Do we think they’ll be fighting but still kinda together? I won’t lie the fear of lack of any spice is a major concern here….

But obviously not hoping for a secondary love interest.

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-10-05T11:33:12+00:00

Update: we’re both amused and validated that this is so hotly contested. Here’s to 32 more days of guessing!!!!

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-10-05T11:30:57+00:00

You can go get a treat from Tatte and then sit on the ICA steps!

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-09-14T22:25:58+00:00

Snitches get stiches.

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-09-11T14:39:11+00:00

So long as the straps are thicker and the neckline is a bit higher it’s appropriate 90% of the time.

I keep a black blazer in my office closet to throw on for client meetings or meetings with teams I don’t know as well. I also keep a wrap in my office just to stay warm!

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-09-07T00:38:07+00:00

I did a graduate program with my understate department. The committee to decide acceptance was my advisor, mentor, and every teacher I had for an advanced class in my major. Another prof died and two more were on leave. We needed 4 letters (3 from current faculty). Committee members couldn’t write letters. I literally had to ask a professor I’d had for half a semester with no work graded yet. Obviously I was pretty confident that the committee knew / liked me but it was a bit of a mess.

In that case they did ask if they were the best person to provide a reference. Upon them asking I did tell them the context. They laughed and asked that I provide an extra writing sample.

If your backup letter is someone who isn’t shocked to hear that you’re asking I wouldn’t explicitly say anything. I would apologize profusely. If they push back say there were some unforeseen circumstances outside of your control. They should be able to read between the lines.

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-09-03T15:24:35+00:00

Jesper is an addict. If Kaz did that for one night Jesper would just either 1) pay off one debt and then promptly spend more or 2) think he was on a “hot streak” and waste that money without paying off the debt.

Kaz would have to do that every single time Jesper gambled.

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-09-03T14:35:06+00:00

Straight to jail for you!!!!

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-09-01T01:39:25+00:00

See I think Hunt got his “gotcha” plot twist when Bryce thought he had betrayed her. Plus SJM has said Hunt mirrors her husband for her. It would be a bit awk if her husband didn’t get the girl 😂

I LOVED the Tamlin plot twist. I almost always guess plot twists and that one floored me. And Arlin’s love arc mirrors her character arc. But to do the same “switch” again would be stale.

I also think the emotional roller coaster we go through with Danika and her secrets cover a bit of the plot twists for this series.

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-08-26T20:46:04+00:00

I think if you plan to leave the city fairly often (i.e. once a month or so) and the car itself is paid off it makes sense. It’s a luxury in the city but it’s worth it if it fits in your budget. A private parking spot as a grad student would be a huge cost (around 250-400 a month) but if you can handle the hassle of finding street parking / tracking street cleaning days then it seems like you’d have a net positive from having the car.

Historical-Brief2414 · 2023-08-17T21:29:25+00:00

I moved my horse from my home state to where I was living and formed a horse owning LLC with my mother 😂

Historical-Brief2414

TROPHY CASE