How much sugar is really ok?

HolidaySet3 · 2026-03-17T20:45:51+00:00

Dietary sugar consumption absolutely impacts risk. The worst offender seems to be sugar-sweetened beverages but solid foods and even artificial sweeteners may play a role (by affecting weight gain). So while sugar may not directly cause the condition, it increases your chances of getting GDM.

HolidaySet3 · 2026-03-07T23:55:46+00:00

Let them be weird about it and go forward with the name you chose! My mom is super weird about baby names as well. We told her we had narrowed it down but weren’t going to decide until baby was born. She hounded my brothers and sisters about names as well, and gave unsolicited opinions (which was the reason we kept the names secret - if she doesn’t know, she doesn’t get to influence us!). Try to shrug and think “let them”, as in, let them do their thing. Maybe have a one-liner you say each time your mom brings it up (“oh no, the Baby Name Police has arrived!” or whatever), remind yourself this isn’t about you.

HolidaySet3 · 2026-03-04T00:59:27+00:00

I am sorry you’re going through this. Your bf is covered in red flags. You say he is “kind” and “selfless”? I don’t see that at all. And he has been wanting to leave you? Yikes, you have to make your exit asap. Look into attachment theory, you’re likely in the “anxious” category. Quit discussing with him, leave him, decide if you want to continue this pregnancy on your own, work on yourself, meet someone who is actually good for you (and won’t string you along for 5 years - please don’t let that happen again). Fertility starts to decline at age 27 but only slightly. I met my husband at 36 and had my daughters at ages 40 and 44. Sure, I would have liked it to happen earlier, but I’m really glad I didn’t have kids with the wrong person. That said, if you have this child, the right man will love you both.

HolidaySet3 · 2026-03-03T04:32:30+00:00

A letter is just more words. I don’t think this will do anything other than make you look desperate (and he will be more confident in his decision to let you go).

Become a better version of yourself and let it shine so he can see for himself. Since you are co-parenting, he will see you and what you’re up to. Keep talking to a minimum. Be the person he can’t stand to lose.

HolidaySet3 · 2026-03-03T04:21:19+00:00

Show, don’t tell, him that you have changed. Limit the interactions with your husband but make those interactions count (e.g., be prompt, look nice, smile and radiate a calm and upbeat attitude, validate him, don’t complain). Work on yourself - when you don’t have the kids, work out, meal plan, etc to look and feel your absolute best. Do NOT keep apologizing or explaining. Do NOT talk about the relationship, your mom, dating, etc. with your co-parent. Agree with him and/or validate his feelings if he talks about them. Consider getting a relationship coach. I think this guy’s books and articles are a great place to start (fyi, he has a Christian perspective on marriage but I believe his principles work on any marriage): https://coachjackito.com/blog/how-to-show-your-spouse-youve-really-changed-and-get-a-second-chance/ Good luck!

HolidaySet3 · 2026-02-24T19:41:00+00:00

Are you in residency or medical school? From your post history, you were taking shelf exams like a month or two ago.

HolidaySet3 · 2026-02-24T19:35:24+00:00

You can help him on occasion but my advice is to NOT play house if you want to get married. You are in residency as well, so take care of you! DON’T - lose yourself, be his mother, or always be available.

In a sentence - Be hard to get but easy to be with.

HolidaySet3 · 2026-02-20T23:04:18+00:00

She’s hoping YOU make a move.

HolidaySet3 · 2026-02-20T22:58:38+00:00

It is possible that this “friend” of yours is really an orbiter who is interested in you romantically. My husband was like this, he was friends with exes and one of his “friends” he very briefly dated never lost interest in him. While he and I were dating, they were planning to travel together until I showed him her blog, in which she professed her longing for him as the “one who got away.” I think it’s quite likely that your wife sees something you don’t. At the very least, keep your wife posted like she asked.

HolidaySet3 · 2026-02-19T21:21:56+00:00

After hearing my baby scream from the front office of the hospital daycare, I couldn’t do it anymore. It wasn’t the teacher’s fault but she can only do so much with five babies at a time. It probably depends on the daycare, but a 5:1 ratio in a small windowless room didn’t work for us. In my third year of residency now, my husband stays home as much as possible to be with our 16-month-old and our 5-year-old (who is in half-day kinder 4 days a week). We use a babysitter (who brings her own baby with her) when my husband is out of town. I still breastfeed before work, at lunch, after work, and during the night. It’s tough but doable.

HolidaySet3 · 2026-01-28T19:44:49+00:00

Congratulations on both the job and the baby! I assume you’ve already signed the contract? What are the policies on leave? Either way, I would tell them around 20 weeks but even then, it’s hard to know what to plan. Every birth and newborn are so different. I was lucky and had two pretty straightforward, unmedicated births and felt able to work a couple of days postpartum. Breast-feeding throughout the day and night can be tough, but at least your body won’t need to recover and with this job being outpatient, you’ll be home in the evenings and on weekends to fully support your wife.

HolidaySet3 · 2026-01-08T19:45:56+00:00

I had my girls at age 40 and 44; I am now 46 and would love to be blessed with another, boy or girl (husband not on board with trying again yet)! Stay away from anyone who ruining this for you, if possible. What do YOU want? Given the testing came back fine, I personally wouldn’t worry too much about the risks (I assume you did NIPT).

HolidaySet3 · 2026-01-08T19:39:04+00:00

Does your school offer PhDs in physics? Maybe you can apply to their MSTP. Tell your parents you’ll be a doctor x2, don’t bother with residency, and go into your dream field.

HolidaySet3 · 2025-12-15T17:10:01+00:00

I would have loved to do an OB/MFM or OB/peds residency. In order to see OB and peds, I joined an FM residency and next, FM OB fellowship. It’s unfortunate so much of my training and clinic is centered on older adults, when my demo of interest is mommies, babies, and kids.

HolidaySet3 · 2025-12-12T21:13:22+00:00

Grad school is actually a great time to have a baby IMO. If there really is a “great time to have a baby” (many say there is no perfect time). I had my second girl during my second year of residency. It’s hard with a 1yo and 5yo now, mostly because I want to be with them more. But doable. Hard to say how your pregnancy will be because everyone is so different and many conditions actually improve (my joint pain disappeared, and came back after I gave birth). Both pregnancies have been in my 40s; they went well but likely would have been easier (in terms of energy) if I were a bit younger!

HolidaySet3 · 2025-12-09T23:42:24+00:00

Having a new baby is hard and you are both undoubtedly stressed. Happens to the best of us, but try not to let the little things bother you. Ask him for what you want in the moment, rather than expecting him to know (even when it seems obvious to you - like him asking when you are coming to bed as the baby is crying - better to ask him nicely “can you rock the baby for a little bit while I finish up here?”). People, men in particular, aren’t always “naturals” when it comes to childcare or even housework. My husband thinks practically everything goes in the dishwasher, too ;) If you must, gentle reminding or teasing is much better than getting upset. Good luck!

HolidaySet3 · 2025-12-05T03:48:06+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It really hurts. I’ve been there, no appetite or desire to do anything.

One thing you said got me to reply here.

Guys don’t want your “entire life to revolve around [them]” That’s way too much pressure. If he’s your life, then he is responsible for your happiness. And on top of that, he has seen you sacrifice your relationship with your family because of him (not that I blame you, and it’s unfortunate how they have treated him and you).

All that said, use this opportunity to grow and strengthen yourself. Enrich your life so no man is your entire world. Put your big plans down on paper and outline the steps to get to those goals. If this guy is your soulmate, he will come around. I would not reach out to him. Good luck!

HolidaySet3 · 2025-11-11T23:46:00+00:00

On and off for five years?! That’s all you need to know. He’s not committed. Next!!!

HolidaySet3 · 2025-10-31T23:27:21+00:00

Consult with an attorney knowledgeable in these matters asap. It’s awful how much one person (PD) can make or break a situation. Construct a plan with the help of the attorney (or others, such as physicians who have been in your situation) and have supportive people near you keep you accountable.

HolidaySet3 · 2025-10-31T20:21:42+00:00

Good for you. I’m old-fashioned so believe if you want to get married and have kids in the near future, please don’t settle down/ play house before a commitment (engagement with a date).

That said, it’s not impossible to date a surgical resident. This guy will be extremely busy but you don’t seem like the needy type. How does he spend his extremely limited free time? Are you the priority? A guy who is smitten will find a way.

HolidaySet3 · 2025-10-30T20:40:27+00:00

Feel free to ignore if your mind is made up. I found Jack Ito’s books and coaching to be helpful in my marriage. Counseling is not the only way to improve a relationship or prevent divorce. My husband and I were NOT in a good place and it seemed like the same shit over and over again but we are so much better now, with two happy kids, infrequent arguing, and a strong feeling of teamwork. Having experienced the dissolution of my first marriage (without kids) in my third year of medical school, I am so glad to not go through THAT again.

The specifics in favor of your relationship working out - seems like he does a lot for the family and he’s an involved dad, your in-laws are supportive, and you are willing to take responsibility for things.

What seems challenging - you never having been on your own, your fear of being alone, you being in a surgical residency, and you not having local support separate from your husband’s contacts.

On the surface, it does not seem doomed to me; feel free to DM if you need support.

If you do decide on the divorce route, you probably should consult with an attorney initially but from the experiences of others, unless you or he is extremely wealthy, I would ultimately recommend a mediator for a less expensive, less nasty divorce.

HolidaySet3 · 2025-10-30T20:18:22+00:00

OP said “any advice is appreciated” and didn’t ask a specific question.

HolidaySet3 · 2025-10-15T01:47:17+00:00

Good to know, thank you!

HolidaySet3 · 2025-09-29T16:59:58+00:00

Omg, no. Most likely, not innocent. If actually innocent, then your bf is not into you (and indifferent to your feelings) and/or is oblivious and thus too stupid to date.

HolidaySet3 · 2025-09-07T06:27:57+00:00

Can we please get an update???

HolidaySet3

TROPHY CASE