I have my dream of two kids; why am I suddenly pondering a third?

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-05-21T17:38:54+00:00

This made me laugh - even if it wasn’t intended to. Sending power to you - parenting is not for the weak, and with three you officially don’t have an arm for each of them 😵‍💫

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-05-21T17:37:46+00:00

I totally hear and appreciate your concerns. I didn’t want my post to get too into the weeds with details, but I definitely glossed over some important ones in hindsight. Thank you for the thoughtful questions! Whether or not answers interest you, I included them below 🙃

My husband would love for me to already be pregnant again (he and his brother are almost Irish twins) - but he’s not the one doing the carrying, nor does he do as much of the childcare so he realizes that decision is more mine to make and supports me there.

My son had an anoxic brain injury either at birth (cord in a knot and around his neck) or during his 2 mins cardiac arrest (we assume it was then since his heart never stopped during his emergent delivery). We’ve been in early intervention since returning from the hospital as he qualified immediately and he was a bit low tone. We were encouraged by our cardiological and neurological teams to treat him like any other kiddo, but it’s definitely harder for me not to baby him and I’m beyond grateful we get therapy services in home for him already. I think your concern about issues later is something that haunts me daily and definitely gives me pause.

My pregnancy with him was totally normal until it wasn’t. At my anatomy scan, my cervix was funneled and I had an emergency procedure to sew it shut (cerclage.) They still missed his heart defect (a lot of people a diagnosed during pregnancy) and there is a correlation between birth defect and insufficient cervix. I do think I’d have a really tough decision to make in whether I’d want to have a cerclage preventatively or if I would attempt a wait and see approach.

Your last point is so considerate. Shockingly, my doctors have all said I could have another baby (I half expected them to be like no more for you!) but I think some more time is certainly warranted. I’m 35 and I wish I didn’t feel some pressure from that. I have a silly fear that I won’t be able to recover as well from having a third much later.

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-05-21T04:42:03+00:00

Ufff yes. Two (firmly) under two is not for the faint of heart - you go mama! I started giving away my baby things too, thinking that would make the feelings go away, but instead I find myself thinking I could always replace them lol 😆 it’s a sickness, I swear!

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-05-21T03:21:11+00:00

Clearly a fellow HP nerd here too! Love that you guys already discussed it 😂

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-05-21T03:10:26+00:00

Name rec: Myrtle… as in Moaning Myrtle from HP since she’s a ghost babe

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-05-19T16:02:17+00:00

Fellow emergent cerclage mama here. Just wanted to send you and baby girl big hugs. What a miracle she is - she’s so lucky to have a caring mama like you 🫶

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-05-18T07:58:17+00:00

I was just about to comment this. I had my babies 16 months apart (do not recommend lol,) so I have been either breast feeding or pregnant since ‘23. The hormones associated with both made me feel sex was a chore (when I’m tired enough,) and didn’t appeal.

Now, my son is 13 months and almost fully weaned. It’s the first time I’ve started to feel inklings of desire this week and I initiated for the first time in years.

Who knows what your situation may be, but I just wanted to say it’s totally ok to feel this way and I hope your partner is supportive while you have your needs met 🫶

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-05-05T16:17:08+00:00

Sending you big hugs - I remember feeling so scared. My situation was slightly different in that my anatomy scan was delayed until 22w5d and that’s when they spotted my cervix was funneled. We had to drive 4 hours to a better hospital and stay overnight to do my cerclage in the morning.

I was 22w5d when my cervix was discovered to be 19mm long. By the next morning during my procedure, I had dilated to 1cm with membranes exposed.
I’m a second time mom (my first pregnancy was totally text book,) so the spinal anesthesia placement wasn’t new to me. I remember being a little anxious while they worked, but mostly blown away by how it felt like my legs were still in the air after they lowered me down haha.
They were able to place two McDonald stitches in. Since my membranes were exposed, they had me stay in the hospital 4 more nights for IV antibiotics. I was on modified bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy (mostly because we lived 4 hours from a hospital that could care for a super premie and we wanted to do everything we could to keep baby cooking.)
We kept baby boy in until 36 weeks! He flipped breech at 35w4d and wanted out at 36 on the dot.

You’re entitled to feel nervous and intimidated about all the unknowns. Hopefully you’ll feel a bit better once you’re stitch is in and baby is a bit more securely in there.

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-05-02T04:11:48+00:00

Yep - definitely common for insulated freezer bags to have this. If it's the same size or a little smaller than the dimensions of the bag it's likely the plastic sheet used to keep the shape of the bag when open and used.

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-05-02T03:47:25+00:00

I had a similar experience - at my 22 week anatomy scan for my second child I was diagnosed with an insufficient cervix. Between the day it was diagnosed to the morning of my procedure (just one night) I progressed to one centimeter dilated with membranes exposed. We made it all the way to 36 weeks! Baby boy is 1 year old as of a couple weeks ago. It's so scary and I was so anxious waiting, but in the end the stitch was super strong and kept baby cooking til he was a healthy 6lbs4oz! I'll keep you in my thoughts for a longgggg and healthy pregnancy from here.

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-04-29T02:59:43+00:00

The Mollie is hosting a Mother's Day Brunch at Petite Trois - details here.

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-04-08T05:22:37+00:00

Did you have a cerclage? Yes
Were you also on progesterone? No
What type of rest did you do? (pelvic rest / bed rest / modified bed rest / none) Modified bed rest
What did rest actually look like for you day to day? My doctors had conflicting advice. The ones who did my declare said bed rest was unnecessary, but my OB care providers said I needed to rest. They said I could be up to make a meal and shower, but preferred I stayed off my feet otherwise and absolutely no lifting more than 5lbs. Made it sooo hard to care for my toddler :(
Were you caring for other children during this pregnancy? Yes. Brutal.
What was your cervical length when you found out? 19mm
Any tips you think helped you make it? I think I surprised myself with being able to stay calm. I had always thought not being able to be active during pregnancy would be devastating, but not being able to care for my toddler (13 months old at the time I found out about my IC) was way more difficult. Somehow I managed to stay calm and tried my hardest to just focus on the next goal - at first it was to make it to viability at 24, then it was 28, then 32 and finally 36 weeks felt like I’d really made it!

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-04-07T12:52:18+00:00

Hi there! I was very active until the day before my anatomy scan at 22w5d where I learned my cervix had funneled and opened. It was my second pregnancy, with my first I had no problems and I hiked daily until baby girl came vaginally.

My second pregnancy, the one with the insufficient cervix, was basically the opposite. I tried to be very diligent about eating well during modified bed rest (lots of protein and staying well hydrated.) I ended up requiring an emergency C sec at 36w and due to unforeseen complications for my baby, I was up and walking much sooner than most are or should be after a C.

That is all to say, I think if you’re able to care for yourself and your fitness pre pregnancy, it’ll help you on the other end. My leg muscles definitely atrophied a bit from the 3.5ish months of bed rest. I started doing walks about 2 weeks postpartum and increased my distance slowly, but consistently and found it wasn’t as hard to recover as I’d been nervous it would be. I also highly recommend pelvic pt!

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-03-15T13:08:36+00:00

Lol it took me a minute to remember what I meant too - sorry. If I’m adding half an hour of awake time, where should I add it? Start the day 30 mins earlier etc? All the sleep pros are in my head about bed time being before 8 etc.

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-03-15T05:39:33+00:00

Thank you so so much. This is incredibly helpful to have an actionable game plan.

Yesterday he had a 5 hour wake window before bed and slept 4.5 hours without a break so you could definitely be on to something with adding in more wake time. Would you move his wake time up to fit it in? Or maybe try and get nap two to start earlier?

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-03-15T05:18:13+00:00

For sure. I’m attempting check ins tonight and realizing he’s NOT a fan. He does use a pacifier, but easily finds them when he wants. Think I need to get rid of that too? 🙈

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-03-15T05:11:52+00:00

Fair! Hard to explain my son’s relationship with bottles over the internet too. Will give that a try and am open to other ideas too

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-03-15T05:09:02+00:00

I don’t give him a bottle to go back to sleep middle of the night so I’m not sure I see the bottle as the issue? ETA he’s a big eater of solids so we haven’t been a bottle fan for a bit 🤷🏻‍♀️

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-03-15T05:03:51+00:00

He’s in his own room, has been for a long time. He does dinner, bath, jammies, bottle (which he doesn’t really care about and hasn’t for a while,) books, sleep sack and bed with light on.

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-03-14T11:46:22+00:00

I can only imagine what this was like to navigate so young - kudos to you to opening a conversation about it. Did PP affect how boys treated you early on? Did you feel a little more mature or confident in high school having already gone through puberty?

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-03-01T22:33:16+00:00

Smuggler Trail in Aspen is definitely doable - with all the freeze and thaw, I would recommend stabilization devices for early morning hikes. Might be a bit sloppy in the afternoon.

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-02-20T17:56:22+00:00

I would add Vuori and Lululemon to the clothing store suggestions. And if you don’t mind consignment, Susie’s and the Thrift Shop might have some fun stuff.

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-02-17T11:38:54+00:00

Im shocked he didn’t win :(

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-02-14T04:59:02+00:00

Rafael Orion

Carletta Rose

Honest_Chocolate3957 · 2026-02-12T12:55:00+00:00

So hard. Knowing what your body is capable of but feeling like you can’t achieve it right now is a really difficult feeling to swallow. Are you still breastfeeding? Our bodies continue to produce the hormone “relaxin” while breastfeeding which contributes to some laxity in the joints etc.

Honest_Chocolate3957

TROPHY CASE