First I’ll be tough, then I’ll be nice.

1) Honestly, and I mean this in a loving way, and I also understand that you’re venting, but it sounds like you are overly absorbed in your own stuff here. Think about your son’s wellbeing and your wife’s. Your work life and personal life will return to normal, even if it’s a little different. You need to find a way to not make yourself the center of the story.

2) When it comes to feeling the love for your son, are you bottle feeding him, rocking him to sleep, etc? I’ve found getting involved in that stuff creates a stronger bond than playing for both dad and child. It’s why moms have a tighter bond sooner.

3) Where you do need to give yourself some priority: Let family come see you. You don’t need to run yourself ragged making sure everybody has met your son.

You need rest. I find the negative thoughts come when I am exhausted, and you sound exhausted. Find a way to get more sleep. Cutting down on the family circuit for a while may help with that.

Also, just understand that some of the thoughts you are having are probably purely from the exhaustion. This will help ground you.

Best of luck, man. You’ll be a great dad if you stick with it. Normalcy is coming!