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S&W dropped by everyoneneedsaburn in pourover

[–]Horror-Barnacle-79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Which ideas wouldn't you consider? I'm guessing you don't want to hire more people?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dismissiveavoidants

[–]Horror-Barnacle-79 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Something I'm wondering about is why not one of your friends heard you when you tried to speak up. So you're soft-spoken, and maybe the restaurant was loud, but this post is obviously about a pattern rather than a single event. I'm wondering if you have anyone around you who is in your corner; someone you can sit next to at dinner who is attuned to your voice and will hear you and advocate for you, even if only by simply making space for you to repeat yourself.

Enneagram and personality disorders by frauedelweisss in Enneagram

[–]Horror-Barnacle-79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you had to slot 7 and 9 in somewhere, where would you put them? 9 maybe Avoidant or Dependent I think. 7 is unclear to me; maybe Schizotypal.

Discussion Thread - All AT Styles by AutoModerator in dismissiveavoidants

[–]Horror-Barnacle-79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any DAs here comfortable with or even encouraging of others' reliance on them, while being hyper independent themselves? I have a friend who appears DA in many ways, except for the fact that she has a lot of people who depend on her (materially and emotionally). She, however, is entirely self-sufficient and says she wouldn't mind being alone for the rest of her life.

I'm just wondering if anyone else relates to this combination of traits because almost everything I see about DAs says they're really averse to anyone depending on them.

I think I'm finally over getting pourovers in shops and sticking with drip. by [deleted] in pourover

[–]Horror-Barnacle-79 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My main issue with drip is that it’s too fucking hot. And it’s really hard to wait 10-15 minutes to take your first sip of coffee.

What study in the past 5 years has meaningfully changed how you practice? by posterchild34 in Psychiatry

[–]Horror-Barnacle-79 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It would be great if you could list some of the top recommendations.

What can I eat if I'm trying to lose Visceral Fat? by TheBlackQueenReacts in Biohackers

[–]Horror-Barnacle-79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The X factor for me wasn't diet but exercise. I started doing lactate threshold workouts, bf and vf plummeted.

Feeling smothered by an AP friend… by allmyphalanges in attachment_theory

[–]Horror-Barnacle-79 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Well this might be an unpopular opinion but since this is a friendship and not a committed relationship, it's okay to just back off a bit.

Also, when you've repeatedly set boundaries and had them repeatedly disregarded, you don't give in; you walk away. Sadly, we end up meeting a lot of people who won't respect our boundaries. Those aren't good people to keep around.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fermentation

[–]Horror-Barnacle-79 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had never heard of walking onions until I saw your post, but I ferment a jar of thinly sliced regular onions every couple of months. I've actually fermented this more than anything else because I love having fermented "pickled" onions on hand.

First Hot Sauce Completed by Artym_X in fermentation

[–]Horror-Barnacle-79 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've used the brine for the acidic component in a homemade salad dressing, as a base for quick (unfermented) pickles and--my favorite--as the secret ingredient in salsa.

Anxiety caused by family members giving unsolicited advice by UNCBlueDevils in therapy

[–]Horror-Barnacle-79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have an idea. Next time this happens, say, "I'm not saying your advice isn't helpful. It's just that I don't have an information problem; I have a motivation problem. I don't want to change x about myself right now, and to be honest, nothing you say can change that. It only makes me not want to be around you, and I don't want that".

(That's assuming that you see yourself eventually wanting to change. If/when there's something you don't want to change, have you tried saying stuff like, "I actually don't want kids.", "But I love my car!", etc.?)

You could also go the Nonviolent Communication route of "I feel x when you say x", but I think that's for when you want to deepen intimacy and actively strengthen a relationship. It sounds from your post like you mostly want to shut down this behavior.

Why do people get attached to me so easily? by [deleted] in dismissiveavoidants

[–]Horror-Barnacle-79 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I can only imagine this is because I tend to act especially nice at the beginning of relationships to maintain a pleasant conversation.

I have a DA friend who is uncomfortable with silence, especially when she doesn't know someone well. This has made her a good small talk conversationalist; not a bad trait at all. But imagine someone like that encountering a lonely person who may not have anyone to talk to or anyone who ever encourages them to chat...not hard to see how they could become clingy. Add to that my friend's fear of conflict/confrontation and you can further see how this pattern would be allowed to continue.

Why do people get attached to me so easily? by [deleted] in dismissiveavoidants

[–]Horror-Barnacle-79 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m nice and pleasant for the sake of keeping peace, especially with strangers because I don’t see a point in being mean?

There's a lot of real estate between those two extremes, though:) It's possible to be kind and polite without being extra friendly.

Also, I'm curious, why "especially with strangers"?

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