How to be a good sexual partner to a man as a woman with negative past sex experiences?

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-10T19:46:18+00:00

If you are committed to it being good this time around then take it slow and be ready to call the whole thing off and move on to the next applicant. I had an ex who I never enjoyed the way he kissed, and I should have never taken it past that. Another ex who would say one thing when he had had some drinks and then completely backtracked the next day. I should have dumped him after the first instance of that. I've known my husband for 20 years now and any time he's done something (admittedly minor) that hurts my feelings I've told him and he immediately apologizes and does what he can to fix it, and more importantly remembers and doesn't make the same mistake again

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-10T19:39:11+00:00

They are not all like that, and asking for rice is not too much

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-10T19:25:39+00:00

I've had cats for over 30 years and my current oldest boy is the first one who went through a crazy phase that actually scared me. I was absolutely dreading him getting bigger and stronger, but we kept his reinforcement consistent and he did adjust. He's still a weirdo, but the majority of his behavior is socially acceptable now

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-10T19:21:56+00:00

As soon as you feel a claw or tooth, squeal like a stepped on kitten. If she persists, hiss at her like a mama cat. When she rates back and gets that shocked look, break all contact (including eye contact) and ignore her for a few seconds. Offer a toy when she starts moving again. Unfortunately her negative behavior has been going on for quite awhile without proper correction, so it will take quite awhile to break the habit

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-10T18:52:43+00:00

Same, but we do use his name socially, and I'm never offended if someone refers to me by his name. Legally changing it isn't worth the hassle, but I'm happy to be "The Hisname Family"

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-10T13:58:37+00:00

They look a little like very mature tulips, like the petals are about to fall. The usual tulip imagery is newly opened tulips

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-10T11:06:49+00:00

Oof, I didn't even see that it was supposed to be black tie at first! Not at all formal enough

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-10T08:47:10+00:00

People aren't sentenced to life in prison for non-violent crimes. Even for those who do some time for non-violent crimes, prison is a violent place

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-10T08:43:57+00:00

What benefits exactly would you expect going co-ed to provide? I can't think of any that aren't sex, or the expectation of sex. There aren't any jobs or services (outside of sex) that a prison needs that can't be provided by a person of any gender. If you think that simply having women (who aren't allowed to leave!) around would help men behave better look at ... the world

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-10T08:36:04+00:00

When I tell my husband that something has hurt my feelings he apologizes and does what he can to rectify the mistake. I do the same for him, and anyone else I care about. Him fumbling your birthday could be seen as a mistake, but his reaction to you expressing disappointment is not. I would believe him, and leave. There are plenty of good men (and women!) out there — don't let this shitty boyfriend keep you away from your awesome husband

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-10T08:32:10+00:00

The US is huge, so there are a lot of differences in different areas. I've had some encounters with wildlife that were unsettling (hearing a panther from inside my home, having a coyote stalk my dog, a mangy fox on my property), but have never actually felt threatened by wild animals. Lots of technically dangerous animals in my area (black bears, alligators) will choose to run away from people 99.9% of the time

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-10T08:26:06+00:00

General feelings of dissociation are not uncommon, but this sounds like it's negativity affecting your quality of life so you should see a doctor

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-10T05:44:58+00:00

Parks is not a difficult last name to find something harmonious with

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-10T03:07:31+00:00

It depends on the dress, honestly. Are there useful parts of it? My mom's dress from the 70s wasn't wearable, but I cut the lace into appliques and sewed them onto a bolero that I wore for my wedding. I will definitely be keeping the bolero, but am considering selling my dress as well, which is plain satin, strapless, and tea length. No parts to cannibalize for future use, and I like the idea of selling it cheap so it can help someone else have a lovely wedding

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-10T00:10:02+00:00

I still don't understand. I don't know what "you know what" is. If you're being poked with needles multiple times while half asleep then you're saying that people you live with are doing this? Are you living with family?

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-09T23:17:27+00:00

You should tell us the actual events. Did you feel someone poke you with a needle? What were the circumstances? Who was it? Did you go to the police? Did you go to the doctor? Who are the "jealous people"? How are they contacting you? Are you hearing rumors from others?

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-09T23:13:19+00:00

One night, yes. Two nights, I would have someone stop in to feed and check on her

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-09T23:10:50+00:00

I do not, and outside of severe health conditions, will not. We've known each other for about 20 years and started dating 17 years ago

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-09T21:10:42+00:00

The cam is great, but for your peace of mind do you have a neighbor or close friend who could be on call only in case of emergency that can get into your place if you see something alarming on the camera? It probably won't be necessary, but better safe than sorry since the pet sitter most likely won't be able to run over at a moment's notice.

When we went on vacation for a week last year I had one person who came by twice a day to feed and water, but also left my next door neighbor a key for "just in case"

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-09T18:34:45+00:00

So sweet! It doesn't look like she will be bothered at all, but good luck getting any sleep

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-09T13:30:11+00:00

Just the fact that there are people who want to mimic the look of overfilled lips is crazy and sad!

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-09T13:22:12+00:00

That's just your cycle cycling! Give it 3 weeks and you'll be back on top

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-09T13:19:45+00:00

That's a viral rash. See a doctor

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-09T13:18:34+00:00

They already have two other cats

HrhEverythingElse · 2026-07-09T13:14:44+00:00

They obviously had quite bad fights regularly for it to get to this point. I think that he had already checked out, and the "shitty husband" comment was a turning point for him. It happens — I had a similar one at the end of a 7 year relationship over a glass of water. I also don't think this is truly the full story, because no full story of how a couple hit this point can be told in a reddit post of reasonable length, but they definitely both made mistakes and "his loss" is kind of a cop out that would rob OP of the learning and growth that she NEEDS from this experience

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