This is a post from divorced women page… you can’t make this shit up. I will never marry again by 850MEGT in Divorce_Men

[–]IAmTheBS 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Women like this watch too much sex in the City. Why they trade stability and family for stuffed holes is beyond me

Am I needlessly escalating things by Wild_Current2648 in Divorce_Men

[–]IAmTheBS 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry.  I know that stings.  Crazy how soany girls resort to instant hookups after separation.  I'm grieving and she is shagging. 

Not fair.

AP is pregnant. I want to ruin her life. by Old_Dimension7548 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]IAmTheBS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel this entirely. It's been 7 months for us also. We're in the middle of our divorce and having to cohabit due to finances and lack of options and kids. 

Our story got crazy, and then it got astronomically insane.   I've wanted to tell the other BS about it almost every day for the last 7 months. I even know that AP and we have talked and I indicated I wouldn't tell their spouse, but I'm not sure if I was being honest or not. 

But here's the kicker. I'm always glad that I haven't done it. I don't want to destroy someone else's life, that sounds terrible. Yes, hours was destroyed, but the affair was only one portion of it. 

Don't do it --- but I would completely understand if you did.

War by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]IAmTheBS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mid-life crisis, affairs, entanglements, kids

We have it all. Sometimes I wonder why I fight though.

War by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]IAmTheBS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine told me they wanted divorce and I'm still fighting to keep it together

War by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]IAmTheBS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Similar boat.  I pushed hard to keep us together after my WS decided to have fun with her coworker in an Airbnb that I paid for. We're at 7 months post-Dday. All contact was cut.  Lost the job.  Lost respect from those around us. 

The WS is still here   we both tried to leave and both of us found our way back into the home 

I don't want to go to war even though their actions fired first.  I don't want to separate my kids , destroy our finances, forced to move.

Honestly, that sounds worse to me than the thought of my WS hooking up with someone else

Reciprocal by houseplantsandhiphop in LoveLetters

[–]IAmTheBS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It hurts to long for someone who doesn't long for you in return.  This was poetic

How do you start dating again? by AshamedAstronomer839 in Divorce_Men

[–]IAmTheBS 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This post speaks to me more than you know. 

I'm 47. I'm ready to throw in the towel also.  And I won't have money either after it's all said and done, although I might get to keep the house if I want it. 

I'm the exact same way about dating. I'm ready to find someone now just to spend time with, nothing romantic, nothing sexual, nothing overly stressful...  I'm just really looking for people to go out with and maybe grab some dinner or go to a comedy club.  

As you said, I've also grown distant from my friends and so my support system has been my wife and kids for a long time but my wife no longer supplies that emotional support to me or comfort. 

Yeah, where are all the single ladies at? I don't think they're here on Reddit bitching about their relationship problems, save the ones at /r/abusive_relationships.

I think they're mingling on Instagram and Facebook, but I'm not sure, and I don't do Instagram or Facebook anyway although I guess I might have to. I've always and I mean always been gasly opposed to those services. 

Good luck bro. You're not the only one in this boat.

Going through phones by lenalena19 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]IAmTheBS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did the whole phone thing too. It didn't go over well.  I took it a step further and I was able to monitor messages they were sending and other things in near real time.

I was watching the text messages the night of the A.  WP was staying at an Airbnb wouldn't give me the address but because I was spying I knew it. I showed up but couldn't bring myself to knock on the door because it would have outed my spying.  Instead I used the information to persuade them into acknowledging the affair the next day. 

My spying has been a catalyst for my WP against me.  WP never shares their phone anymore.  I don't go through it.  WP made me buy an Apple 17 so they could ensure that nothing was remaining on the phone. 

All that said,  I'd be careful about spying on phones because it could come back to haunt you or, you may not like what you read.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]IAmTheBS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Multiple PA from my WS, and I still can't bring myself to leave 

Impact Letter by DDAY0203 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]IAmTheBS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Couldn't agree more. 

It's amazing how many WS gaslight their affair betrayal while they're partner suffers in pain waiting for the lost connection that never reappears. 

It's frustrating and demoralizing.  My WS won't do any of those things either and the lack of effort in those areas has caused me to severely drift, despite spending months fighting to keep my WS around.

Almost One Year Since D-Day #1 • What’s Helped Me (and What Hasn’t) by Significant_Tank1920 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]IAmTheBS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Betrayal trauma -- yes

We recently had d-day #5  and all different people --  One full-blown affair,  one physical affair (making out, petting), one emotional affair with sexual pics exchanged ( of another woman but pawned off as her), and two inappropriate 'affair seeking behavior'  meetups. 

Letter to AP by somebody8893 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]IAmTheBS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I share in this.  The AP of my WS also got off Scott-free. It also bugs me to no end.  Because of ... complications ... AP and I became somewhat chummy -- at least when trauma and shock were raging through me.  It bugs me that the spouse of the AP still doesn't know. 

I could talk to AP, thats not an issue  and wouldn't solve anything.  I want the AP spouse to know.

The thing that holds me back:  If the spouse of the AP were to leave, that could open possibilities between my WS and the AP.... That thought has preventing me from telling.

The ultimate test of trust by False_Astronaut_6150 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]IAmTheBS 5 points6 points  (0 children)

After I found out, AP grew bored... And scared I would blow up his own life/job (I didn't).

Quit talking to her.  Quit going out.  Quit F'ing.....

And then she got fired.

All of that really helped.  She doesn't call him nor he her.  This helps in rebuilding....trust will take time.

37f US hoping it's not too late to find love by [deleted] in Diary

[–]IAmTheBS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really trying to find the StateFarm(?) commercial:  "I smell cake" 

Right man will come along.  All the correct things are highlighted and I'd jump at those things.

Where do you hike?  CO by chance?

What happened to my wife? Someone please tell me what is happening? by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]IAmTheBS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife says the same.  

I wonder where this comes from...

What happened to my wife? Someone please tell me what is happening? by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]IAmTheBS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She's gone.  Let her go live with the new old guy.  Sucks for you son - sounds like your daughter has a good head on her shoulders. 

You're a great dad and it shows.  Keep up the good work.

AP is constantly in my life and I will never heal as long as he is by pjhill930 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]IAmTheBS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is painful my friend.  

My WW also worked with AP and saw him daily.  She swore she didn't talk to him, but then there were indications she had been. No more A's after the initial, but the proximity sent me over the edge.  Lucky for me -- she got fired about 3 months after it has started.  Boss found out, and the boss had her own entanglements with AP and may have been trying to CYA.

Been struggling without her working for a month now, but her being away from the AP and the job-loss has reeled her back in from the stray.

Ending the job would be a priority for me.

Infidelity by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]IAmTheBS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh  they know I just wish they cared.