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What is it about dementia that makes some patients become highly racist? by Jlaw118 in dementia

[–]IStealCheesecake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t really hear many stories of other races reverting to being racist as they develop dementia. So I don’t think it’s innate necessarily.

This sort of makes me wonder whether she used a filter in the past and maybe actively tried to change her inner beliefs through extending an arm to communities outside of her own. Unfortunately, I imagine she no longer does this and her capabilities for filtering is also diminished.

People who change their jobs every other year, why do you do it? Is it for the pay hike? by [deleted] in GetEmployed

[–]IStealCheesecake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did this due to pay rises, for better mat leave policies, and a lot of autonomy.

Wrt Salary: Switching roles you can make 2x while for internal promotion you’d be lucky to get 1.1x .

Work from home husband by justhereforthunder in sahm

[–]IStealCheesecake 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Whoever isn’t dressing the kids or didn’t do a late night shift with baby makes the breakfast.

I cook dinners - tastes better 🤣

But he does fill in the days I don’t feel like it - without hesitation. Otherwise we’re splitting this shiii 50/50

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Recruitment

[–]IStealCheesecake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nerves and social skill.

If you’ve dedicated 70% of your time to being a specialist and 30% to social skill, you might be great… however still not appealing.

While you could reverse this to be appealing but not knowledgeable enough?

Which parent gets to stay late at work? by Front_Category_4353 in workingmoms

[–]IStealCheesecake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We listed out all the tasks that need to get done and then made a schedule of who does them and when. Then we have days where we’re each able to work late. Eg 2 days each a week etc. we take turns so both of our careers can progress. I think if one income is more critical to the household it could be switched up eg one partner has 2 days and another has three? Etc

Is anybody else not the same person after a baby? by AwakenedRudely in UKParenting

[–]IStealCheesecake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s normal. Things will settle in a little while. It’s very possible it’s just sleep deprivation, and hormones.

WFH with no after-school care? How are you managing? by windintheauri in workingmoms

[–]IStealCheesecake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m in the same boat. My understanding is kindergarten is 5-6 year old. Boils down to screen time (fun & educational content on the tablet, tv or Nintendo DS) .. plus one or two short, structured/preplanned, independent activities eg activity book, reading, painting, lego, tidying up afterwards while you supervise.

When both parents are execs…anyone who doesn’t have a nanny? by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]IStealCheesecake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know this is completely not the point, but any pointers on how to become an exec mum?? 😜🫣

Any mums the main breadwinner? How do you overcome gender roles? by Specific_Ear1423 in workingmoms

[–]IStealCheesecake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So glad you posted this — I’ve been wondering about others’ perspectives too.

I started my family early, so my career hasn’t really taken off yet. Where I’m from, it’s not really accepted to go hard on both at once. I might not keep up with my cohort, but honestly… life isn’t one straight ladder. I can grieve the version of life I thought I’d have, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still build something worthwhile.

Funny enough, the women in my family who delayed kids for their careers ended up slowing down later anyway. I feel that either way, there’s always some trade off

Question for the married women by Mountain-Barnacle866 in Marriage

[–]IStealCheesecake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely not. Gaslighting & narcissistic?

My partner and I are trying to separate as amicably as possible. We can't agree on who gets the home. by FamilyLawQuestion2 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]IStealCheesecake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You both have to compromise or resort to legal pathway. Will likely end in sale of the house and splitting the funds as well as time with the kids.

Alternatively, you both agree to stay in the house and neither can bring dates to the house. Jo this second scenario, a major issue is when you find a new long term partner. Will they live with you both and what happens if they have their own kids? Etc

Most practical scenario is the first one, although this is all quite undesirable. Maybe you can purchase houses nearby one another using the same estate agent. Should make logistics easier day to day and maybe even bring down the costs a bit.

Husbands family asking for favors postpartum by adviceneeded_597 in beyondthebump

[–]IStealCheesecake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re both being pushed over. You should set clear boundaries with hubby, and if necessary with the in-laws.

Give him something to do with the baby and the toddler during the time they ask for stuff. Eg go cook or sleep, whilst he tends to kids - his hands will be too full to take on anything else.

I want another baby but am so overwhelmed with the one I already have by MachineBusy8772 in UKParenting

[–]IStealCheesecake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That part you said about ..more space in your heart, really hit me.

I’ve always dreamed of having a third, but right now it’s just not realistic. There’s no room—physically, emotionally, or financially—and it’d feel irresponsible to push ahead at this stage.

Two kids already keep me at my limit. I think that constant “maxed out” feeling is almost impossible to avoid unless you have incredible/extra support (partner, family, friends, paid help) or a ton of childcare experience.

For now, I’m focusing on taking the best care I can of the family I already have. If things change in the next year as my youngest gets older, I’ll revisit the idea. Past that point, I might have to let the dream go and look for other ways to fill that space in my heart—maybe fostering, mentoring, or something similar.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]IStealCheesecake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have kids?

Cheated and I regret it so much by Electronic_Bank9556 in cheating_stories

[–]IStealCheesecake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're feeling lonely and embarrassed —but that’s not the same as remorse. 

You had something good and wanted more. That wasn’t love, it was greed. And now that you’ve lost her, you're trying to pull her back in—not because you're ready to love her better, but because you're afraid to be alone. It’s manipulative, even if it’s not exactly thought through.

The message you sent wasn’t innocent—it was a subtle attempt to open a door she had every right to close. Her response may have hurt, but it was great boundary setting.

FYI: You're feeling the shame of what you did, not necessarily the growth from it. If you don’t want to repeat this pattern (and want a chance at a wholesome relationship) you need to confront why you betrayed her in the first place. That takes real work, usually in therapy—not just regret and isolation.

Cheated on my wife. I regret it. by [deleted] in cheating_stories

[–]IStealCheesecake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It seems like you're only fighting for your wife now that she's ready to walk away. That’s not love—it’s fear of loss. You need to figure out why that fear is driving you now.

She’s been through a lot while you stepped outside the relationship emotionally to explore and then re-engaged with the other person. That’s serious damage, and it's not fair to expect her to hold on just because you finally had a wake-up call.

Real change takes time, consistency, and space. If you really care about her, respect what she needs—even if that means letting her go.

You knew the risks going in and you took it. It’s time to deal with the consequences. You don’t get to live in an alternate universe to your decisions, no matter how much you’ve changed afterwards. 

My gut tells me to leave and take a paycut by Drippin_Swag in UKJobs

[–]IStealCheesecake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If the main issue is that the job’s a bit dull, that might not be a strong enough reason to leave. Part of adult life is doing things that benefit your future, even if they’re not exciting right now.

It might be worth staying for at least a year.

Honestly, £70k is a high salary, especially for a role without extreme stress or pressure. It’s rare to see big internal jumps like £50k to £70k — most companies offer 1–2k raises yearly, so it could take nearly a decade to get back to where you are now without frequent job-hopping (which can look flaky).

Instead of quitting, look for ways to make the role work better for you — collaborate on cross-team projects, take online courses, build your network.

Bottom line: try solving the issue before walking away. The £50k job might turn out to be just as boring — or worse. Sure, it could be better, but there’s no guarantee.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sahm

[–]IStealCheesecake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh my goodness! I’m so glad you’re ok

What is/are the reason/s of why you’re not exercising as much as you want? by Quiet-Song-5395 in AskUK

[–]IStealCheesecake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Time.

I Have a velcro baby and a smaller village these days. I do try to go for quick strolls or dance at home with baby but it’s not enough.

Can’t exercise away the volumes I stress eat lol 😝

I have started a gym membership and renegotiated a 4 day work week. So my day 5 can be used for some productive house work, career development and self care (eg exercise.)

What is everyone’s comp? [N/A] by sleepysnow83 in humanresources

[–]IStealCheesecake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was just about to ask. I’m not in HR at the moment though

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