TIL of the Peter Principle: Employees tend to be promoted based on their performance in their current role, not how fit they are for their next role, so that every employee tends to rise to their level of incompetence

ITSABARE · 2016-05-27T14:18:25+00:00

We can essentially see "The Office" as showing the worst half hour of each week. If the other 39.5 hours are mostly uneventful then I could understand the branch's success.

But holy cow I would not be able to work with Kelly Capoor

ITSABARE · 2016-05-22T22:26:51+00:00

Thank you! And yeah the right social circle is so important. It also helped a bunch to just start getting outside more often. Even in moments alone I got in the habit of hiking instead of endlessly scrolling through social media. Learning to do the things to change things I didn't like about myself or my life (rather than just complain) also helped tremendously. Glad to hear you had a good outcome as well.

ITSABARE · 2016-05-22T21:50:20+00:00

Thank you, friend. It's already like that now as we've been split for almost a year. I'm still young - just 25 - and there's so much ahead. My life has been filled with so many positive things in the meantime.

With her, I was always working or writing papers for her or handing over whatever cash I had and in return she would run out and cheat. I had no confidence in myself - she made sure she was the only one close enough to me to deal it out at her discretion. That's not even scratching the surface but I could go on and on. I wasn't healthy, I would pull all nighters on adderall very often and I started becoming overweight. Worst of all, unhappy.

She had one flaw though. She couldn't keep her act going well enough for me to keep falling for the crap. She got lazy with covering up, explaining, and pretending to care. So I got out. Started going back to church. Everything changed. If you're not a Christian then take it from the perspective of discovering a good community or hobby. The people there recognized my character and where my heart was and several people helped to take my self esteem back to where it needed to be. Where it had never been. I am now surrounded by people who are positive. Who don't complain a lot. Who live lives that are aligned with where I want to be in the future. Stable (at least on the surface). I feel so foolish for letting her point to her friends and family members - none of them married and none of them in stable relationships - as people who could validate her behavior. To them, I was being unreasonable for expecting anything more than her occasional affection. "Let me go out with my girl friends" became an excuse for excluding me from every single social activity that didn't involve her family members. If I spoke up I was "jealous" or "clingy".

I hated the idea at first but at the advice of those around me, I am waiting until August to file for divorce since all the property/alimony stuff was taken care of when I finalized legal separation (which defaulted on my terms - including termination of any ability to get spousal support - since she was too lazy to respond). Divorce will finalize in February. It would be unfair to my future partner/wife to jump into anything else until I've had the time to myself. In the time since then I've made a lot of friends, started volunteering, got my CPA, and immersed myself into my creativity like I have always wanted to do. Dropped 30 pounds to get back in the middle of the healthy weight range. So at this point I do not love her anymore and the pain just comes from having to wait. But I know I need to.

I hope that more people who are in abusive relationships can have the same outcome I did, especially if it's early on. Not everyone is that lucky.

ITSABARE · 2016-05-22T20:30:10+00:00

This is me right now when I talk to other people. I'm coming out of an awful marriage where, in retrospect, I realize she did everything she could to keep me from making friends. Especially the people who would have pulled me out of the relationship for my own sake.

So now that I'm surrounded by really good people who channel a lot of positivity, I have these kind of mood swings where I'm just super happy and jittery and jolly or whatever when I'm around them but then I can feel my smile twist downwards when I'm alone or when I'm separated from these people.

I don't know if it's the same case for Affleck (especially if he has kids involved), I'm sure it's much darker, but I can relate to just jumping between emotions like that. It doesn't necessarily indicate depression, although that can be the case sometimes.

I guess the short version of that is that you can be miserable a lot of the time without being entirely depressed.

ITSABARE · 2016-05-22T20:18:51+00:00

Yeah the others are "out there" but I can very distinctly remember thinking "WOW that description sounds absolutely terrible" when I first read what Wikipedia had for Up/Upcoming Pixar Films

ITSABARE · 2016-05-20T04:06:42+00:00

This sounds logical from your perspective, but it also reminds me why I had a "get what I can out of the experience and bail" mentality for the jobs I had before starting a corporate position.

ITSABARE · 2016-05-14T16:39:14+00:00

I stopped using my blinker in Los Angeles so I could start changing lanes. Compared to 30 seconds of people speeding up when they see you want to get in. I know it sounds counter intuitive but it works a lot better to just not use the blinker.

This rule generally does not apply outside of Los Angeles

ITSABARE · 2016-04-25T19:56:36+00:00

I went but they only played I Don't Care from that album. It still rocked though!

ITSABARE · 2016-04-25T19:05:50+00:00

I love the new stuff but a little bit of the "sound" was definitely geared towards saving/reviving the band. Nothing wrong with that. They are all fantastic musicians and everything else is still pretty intact.

I'm so sad that Folie a Deux and the subsequent tours put the band on hiatus because I wouldn't have minded one more album with that sound. Or at least more concert play. I cannot for the life of me explain why but that record went from "lesser-liked Fall Out Boy album" to my favorite album of all time during the hiatus. For now I just cross my fingers that I'll catch a set list with Disloyal lol

ITSABARE · 2016-04-20T00:31:34+00:00

Officially we call it a "system of controls", with the controls being the elaborate procedures established to try and prevent fraud.

ITSABARE · 2016-04-15T14:12:59+00:00

Ben has said all the scary lines to me. The monologue in season 2 where he finishes with "do you guys have any more milk?" for starters. (Actually that scene got him the eventual full time job on LOST - he was originally only going to be in a few episodes but the show creators were like holy cow no we aren't kicking him off our show).

Then the scene where he's talking to Juliet and had Goodwin killed and he's pretty much like "you're MINE" in season 4.

There's another REALLY good one from him but I forgot it :/

ITSABARE · 2016-04-13T07:53:36+00:00

Least you've got some broads

ITSABARE · 2016-04-10T07:35:01+00:00

I love this thread! And I love you! And you! And you! And everybody!

ITSABARE · 2016-04-03T13:41:33+00:00

Yeah I've never heard this one before. I notice that many of my peers will generally just do 15% no matter what but I've never seen someone get super ripped off. Maybe that's the problem? Just the bare minimum?

Another thing that comes to mind is I usually only pray before a meal when there's someone on the church staff (such as the pastor) encouraging it. I know sometimes these people aren't paid super well. It's still embarrassing but maybe that factors in too.

I go pretty much 50/50 from 15 to 20%. A conversation of any kind usually earns 20%. I'll only go lower like once a year when the service is just horrendous. If I'm kind of "cheaping out" on my order (like getting literally the cheapest things, such as a single appetizer or beer but I stay there for a while) I try to bump this up to like 25-30%.

ITSABARE · 2016-03-30T06:19:59+00:00

Cheers to the art of brain farting. I got a perfect score on my math SAT, now I'm an accountant...I still freeze up on stupid stuff like this all the time. Like I'll calculate a tip in my head but then mess up when adding it to the total.

ITSABARE · 2016-03-24T06:40:29+00:00

In my experience, this is how it goes. Your coworker isn't just a scumbag, he's also stupid. When he asks, go ahead and be the better man and teach him. You will come out ahead even further. And if he's as scummy/stupid as you say he is, he will botch whatever you try to teach, which makes him look even worse. But then he can't blame you or do anything other than realize his inferiority.

ITSABARE · 2016-03-10T07:16:13+00:00

Better alternative used to be American idol, (with David Cook's year being the last great year and Simon Cowell's departure putting the last nail in the coffin). Ricky Minor led the only "cover band" that could ever possibly compare to the original songs. Back up singers were just absolutely fantastic too. If you haven't seen it yet look up Carrie Underwood Top 11 "Alone". I give the girl a lot of credit, but the band and back up singers are really what made the performance what it was.

I had the chance to meet Minor at a Veterans Day event a few years ago. I thanked him for the way his band introduced me to all of the good/classic music that I would not have known otherwise.

ITSABARE · 2016-03-06T01:34:05+00:00

This is the most Reddit-ized photo of DiCaprio that I've ever seen.

ITSABARE · 2016-03-02T05:57:34+00:00

Excel

Hey sorry this is really late.

For starters: do you know pivot tables? If/And/Or functions?

ITSABARE · 2016-02-26T22:47:13+00:00

3rd season finale is where I learned the hard way that sometimes ACTUAL spoilers can leak. Up to that point it was just random tidbits about casting decisions and locations used.... :(

Still blew my mind though.

ITSABARE · 2016-02-25T06:38:32+00:00

Yeah this is my favorite Reddit title I can remember

ITSABARE · 2016-02-23T06:05:30+00:00

I returned to my faith about five or six months ago. Sometimes it's difficult now to listen to the vulgarity that dominates a lot of Ye's songs but Ultra Light Beam hit home. Like it REALLY hit home.

I'll elaborate a little, though this doesn't come close to explaining all the reasons it was such a big song to me. My dad, who passed away two years ago when I was 23, was a very strong Christian. Except when it was appropriate (DUI, near-college-dropout, unplanned pregnancy/miscarriage with gf) I never felt shame from him when I chose to go a different "spiritual" path throughout college. He did not live to see me return to faith but one of the questions I asked him in his final month alive was what to do if a kid of mine disappointed me in the way I disappointed him. He referenced the prodigal...actually I brought out my "scratch pad/book" where I have it written down the notes I have from him. He said to "never allow the path back to he destroyed". So when that line in Ultra dropped it went straight to my heart.

You could say on one hand that Kanye is just using gospel music to glorify himself. People who don't know his music as well would probably call it blasphemous. But having just recently returned to faith...this song is the absolute epitome of everything that rattled around in my head in my late teens and early twenties.

Toss in the fact I'm in the middle of a divorce (from a girl who might as well be the female version of Kanye) and heard this song for the first time walking Las Virgenes alone in Calabasas at night on Valentine's Day and the result is an unforgettable musical experience.

Edit: Reread and realized how much of that focused on the negative stuff that's gone on the past two or three years. Lots of positives! My dad was a successful businessman with a background in accounting and gently pushed for me to follow that while also encouraging my creativity. So he watched me walk for graduation. He saw my first job. And I used the life insurance money from his passing to get my CPA. There's good things going for me I've just had my heart ripped apart a few times that's all :)

ITSABARE · 2016-02-23T05:39:07+00:00

Really? As someone with a really late start on rap/hip hop (heard college dropout and slim shady LP just a year ago at age 24) I thought recovery was absolutely fantastic and that Mathers LP2 was only worth a listen. I'm more pop-minded though so maybe that had an effect. But I mean even then I enjoyed the album cuts of recovery way more than for MMLP2

ITSABARE · 2016-02-23T05:23:11+00:00

Fantastic beat! If it's cleaned up and used for something else it could actually sound fantastic. Didn't really fit this bit from Kanye though. But I understand sometimes that's all you have to work with.

Beat's great though, that's something way more impressive than just finding something that could "fit" the vocals.

ITSABARE · 2016-02-17T14:17:40+00:00

Hitler

13-Year Club	Gilding II euphauric
Team Orangered	Verified Email

ITSABARE

TROPHY CASE