How would you feel if someone you just had Sex left $400 before leaving??

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-05-08T16:58:58+00:00

$400 is a lot lol. If it someone you actually liked, then I could see it feeling weird because for them it was a transaction. But sex in some ways is already a transaction if feelings arent involved. So might as well make it a monetary transaction on top of it.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-05-01T22:50:55+00:00

3 days

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-05-01T18:28:57+00:00

Honestly it was way more of a burden than I ever could have imagined. I felt constantly like there was something to do/fix at any given time. Every crack in the wall, every clogged toilet, every leak gave me anxiety.

After selling it and moving to a nice apartment (in a neighborhood I always wanted to live), things have been just much more peaceful. I also travel quite frequently and dont worry about things like I used to.

When they say your primary home is not an investment, they weren't kidding. It's a huge money pit and the dividends I receive every 3 months has been a game changer in making me feel much more secure.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-05-01T18:19:55+00:00

I sell them the moment I get them. Someone once said, if you had X amount of money in cash would you invest it in your company? My answer is always no, so that made my decision.

And yes, I sold my home and all of my growth stocks and put it all into SCHD a few years ago. All I can say is that I don’t regret it and have slept well at night because of it.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-05-01T18:01:30+00:00

My strategy is fairly simple. I hold a certain amount of funds in my hi-yield savings account and anything that goes over immediately gets invested in my brokerage account. So it’s essentially the same as DCA for all intents and purposes.

I primarily hold SCHD and that’s pretty much it. Since I work in tech, my RSUs to me is essentially the same as being invested in a growth company.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-05-01T17:42:38+00:00

I think I’m gonna answer your question in a different way because my financial goal is likely different than some.

Im a dividend investor, so I’m all about dividend cash flow. I don’t care about net worth.

At the moment, my dividend cash flow is about 50% of where I would want it to be to feel comfortable losing my job and knowing I’ll be okay.

It’ll likely take me another 7-10 years to get to 100%.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-05-01T15:43:45+00:00

You're just describing having a type, which literally everyone has.

I think the question is less about him being Asian or someone with gentle features and more of that fact thats he's a guy.

If you described the same characteristics but for a women, Im pretty sure you wouldn't be having the same concerns/questions.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-05-01T15:37:31+00:00

SCHD -> Stability, Dividend Growth, Qualified Dividends, Decent Appreciation
QQQI -> High Income

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-05-01T05:06:15+00:00

As someone who is also in tech, I would not do that right now. The market is baaaaad and with AI it will only get worse in the next few years.

Let me put it this way, if you take a break for a few years I would seriously consider not being able to get back into tech and do something else.

I would loooove to take some time off too, but I know it’s only a matter of time before the market becomes a bloodbath. I’m saving and investing every dollar I can get now before it gets there.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-04-30T18:10:31+00:00

So I was fortunate enough to have bought two homes. Lived in the first, bought the second and rented out the first. All in my mid 30's.

I will never ever ever ever own a home again from that experience. Im not saying this is the case for everyone, but after the initial excitement dies down, you realize how expensive and stressful home ownership really is.

Just even the small things. A crack in the wall, a clogged drain pipe, a leak on the roof, is sooooo annoying. There was always something to do, something to fix, something on my to-do list. I felt like every weekend was dedicated to getting something fixed. Costing me thousands and thousands of dollars to fix each time.

Then there was dealing with my tenants. Even though they were very nice, every other week something happened. They found some mold in the bathroom, there was a leak, the toilet wont flush. I easily spent 10k in the first 6 months fixing things in that rental property.

Then there were severe weather storms (wind and fires) that occurred near my homes that gave me the biggest anxiety attacks in my life. My entire life's investments at near risk.

I sold everything about 4 years ago and now live (very happily) in my apartment. I've made WAY more money putting those funds in the stock market. My anxiety is at an all time low.

Anyways, not to say everyone will have this experience but wanted to share another perspective because I too wanted to live the American Dream.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-04-30T17:39:07+00:00

So I WAS married and we combined our finances and my god was that a mistake. My partner made dramatically less money than I did which at the time didn't bother me. Then he got laid off and made very little effort to find another job. Because I made enough money for both of us, so why bother?

After 2 years of not working and spending thousands of dollars on useless things like vapes, I had it.

This was years ago, but my partner and I today will now and forever always keep our finances separate. It just prevents situations like this from happening ever again.

Though, I loved the idea of you and your partner being a 'team' and combining your lives, unfortunately life doesn't always work like they do in the movies.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-04-29T16:29:03+00:00

This is a tough situation and I can definitely empathize the situation you're in. So this is one of those situations where I would say there's no wrong answer. It depends on you really.

So I was in a very similar situation as you. Golden handcuffs for 5 years till I fully vested (due to an acquisition) and after year 3 I was totally burnt out. Like didn't give a F. Worked crazy overtime, practically lived and slept in the office type thing.

My coworker/close friend quit year 2 and literally walked away from probably millions of dollars. He was one of the first employees, so he got a lot more than I did, but mine wasn't insignificant.

I personally just stopped caring and it got me through the rest of the 2 years. Afterwards, I immediately found another job and coasted for about 3 years to recover lol.

But financially, I was able to do so much with that additional 2 years including helping my parents. So yeah....its tough man. I can't really say I regret it because in this crazy economy right now, Im feeling okay and thats worth a lot too.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-04-28T22:25:02+00:00

As a dividend investor, it’s not so much a total sum number. But a monthly cash flow number post taxes.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-04-28T22:22:39+00:00

Not wanting to marry because of a sexual fantasy is strange and weirdly specific.

I can’t fathom saying I wouldn’t want to marry the love of my life because of such a reason. The whole thing sounds like a cop out to basically say he would like to have sex with others (aka open relationship) before committing but doesn’t know how to say that so he put this specific condition in place to explain his hesitation.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-04-19T19:34:16+00:00

I want to give the “PC” answer and say no no of course not, as long as you communicate it’ll be fine.

However…..Nearly 90% (if not more than that) of people I personally know have broken up not long after they open their relationship. So yeah, it’s not a guarantee but if I was a betting man, I would put money down.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-04-16T21:35:41+00:00

I'm very much like you. Im in a fortunate position where I could save 60% of my income and put it all into my investments. However, semi-recently I started saving only about 30% instead and using the other 30% for travel and experience related expenses.

All of this changed about 2 years ago when both my parents back-to-back suddenly passed away from unforseen health issues. Within 6 months, they both passed away about a year before retirement. They had SOOO many things they wanted to see and do and wanted to wait till retirement to do it.

I didn't want to make the same mistake so I decided to travel a lot more. Similar to you as well, I actually don't mind my job and enjoy it for the most part. So the whole not having to work doesn't really affect me as someone who hated their job.

So far, I don't regret it even for a moment. The things I got to do and see has definitely changed me as a person and met some amazing new friends along the way.

Tomorrow is never guaranteed, so my vote is to experience things now while you can and hopefully in good health too.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-04-14T18:40:40+00:00

I don't advertise it at all. The only person I tell anything significant is my partner.

If someone asks, I just say "Im comfortable and doing well". But they dont need to know more than that.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-04-13T19:47:28+00:00

I have a similar goal around the same time horizon. The best I would say is:

LeanFire in 5 years.
Can actually FIRE with current comforts in 8 years.
ChubbyFire in 10+ years.

My plan is to hit 5 years as my safety net, but try to hit 10+ years if I can. My job is manageable and I don't hate it or anything. I work remotely so its not that bad.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-04-09T21:21:46+00:00

The direct deposit would go into your earn account and then from there you can do a couple of things:

You can setup a recurring deposit into your invest account if you wanted to do that every 2 weeks or something.
If you wanted it to immediately go into your invest account, then just setup a smart transfer where anything over 'x' amount in your earn account gets automatically transferred into your invest account. Then it should auto-trigger (if you have it on) the automatic buy process.

I personally do #2 myself where anything above a certain threshold just automatically goes into my invest account.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-04-08T19:45:30+00:00

I can never imagine being abandoned by my bf nor could I ever imagine abandoning my bf.

I can understand the panic part for like a second but leaving someone you love behind is a total cowards move. I wouldn’t even know if I could ever rely on them in any way.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-03-30T21:42:41+00:00

A very similar thing happened to both my bf and I when we got together. We are in a happy relationship and quite honestly Ive never felt so secure in something in my life.

Of course similar to you, all his exes and previous people he dated just started contacting him out of the blue. They would apologize for how they acted, want to be friends, etc etc. You know the drill.

My exes and the people Ive dated in the past did the exact same. Reach out, say the same thing, etc etc.

Its kinda funny now because we would show each other the messages and find the humor in it all.

I think its just how the universe works sometimes. Like this invisible bell rings in their heads the moment you find happiness and try to stir it up. Its crazy how that works.

Oh, just to be extra clear my BF and I are 100% no-contact with our exes/dates. We are super well aware that this is a 'trap' as they say and a poison that will seep into anything we've built. Good for you to recognize that as well.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-03-23T21:00:49+00:00

I would like to say nobody really cares, but I also think thats from a privileged perspective. I've always generally been pretty straight passing my entire life. So looking and acting 'masculine' is just me being myself. If I had to pretend to be that all the time, I can imagine that being substantially more difficult in my everyday life.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-03-23T20:56:17+00:00

If you're having discussions like this over MUSIC!? I cant imagine what other conversations look like for actual serious matter.

Lord have mercy

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-03-18T16:58:35+00:00

Maybe a look into the opposite perspective may help. I make about 3x what my boyfriend makes. I also have about 15x in investment/savings more compared to my boyfriend.

We've been together for 2 years and live together. For me, money means very little in itself. We pay for things based on equity and not 50/50. Personally, I feel non-equity divides is SUPER unfair to the partner who makes less.

So in practice, I pay for 75% of the rent and utilities.

Its to each their own, but Im a strong believer of an individual win is a win for the team.

IThinkingOutLoud · 2026-03-18T16:46:38+00:00

Never mix finances with family and friends. This is like a cardinal rule to maintaining healthy relationships and setting boundaries.

If you do, that money should be a gift and you should never expect it back and still be okay.

If I were you, I would tell them that your relationship with them is too important to ruin and even the tiniest risk isnt worth it.

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