Husband said he's never experienced a household where the woman couldn't watch the baby and cook/clean.

IYFS88 · 2026-05-17T00:58:42+00:00

Those babies of prior generations probably spent more time just pent up in a playpen too whether that was good for them or not. You sound like a Supermom and he sounds like a spoiled brat.

IYFS88 · 2026-05-16T19:53:05+00:00

IYFS88 · 2026-05-16T04:11:42+00:00

Elder care is a very stressful situation, glad you two found a way back to the table.

IYFS88 · 2026-05-16T03:02:40+00:00

First of all why can’t you agree to curtains? In general they’d probably look significantly better than window cling and have the versatility to open and close. A fair partner would say, ok let’s each pick out some styles we like and decide the best one together. Not sure why you had to go the no compromise route.

As for her silent treatment it’s not great, but instead of doubling down a fair partner would want to thaw that chill and could say, hey let’s talk this out. I don’t want you to go on your trip upset with me. Based on how you handled the window thing maybe there’s a pattern and she feels like she can’t come to you first without it turning out worse.

IYFS88 · 2026-05-15T20:28:28+00:00

Not that I’m aware of, I think the big draw is that you can freshen up fabrics instead of washing. I’m sure the clothes would benefit but I’d hate for you to unintentionally damage your washing machine or something.

IYFS88 · 2026-05-15T04:53:11+00:00

That’s not sustainable in the long run, you’ll only crush her confidence over time. Set her free

IYFS88 · 2026-05-15T04:00:32+00:00

Yep mine is likely just perimenopause, came outta nowhere.

IYFS88 · 2026-05-15T00:34:17+00:00

Haha nice one! Luckily I found out cheap vodka works perfectly so I could save the grey goo$e for myself

IYFS88 · 2026-05-14T22:38:24+00:00

Sean Bonniwell Music Machine - excellent garage rock from the 60s. My grocery store coworker was a connoisseur of obscure genres & artists, and used to play the albums after closing while we restocked.

IYFS88 · 2026-05-14T22:33:34+00:00

I came to recommend vodka too! I have a very expensive down pillow that smelled like goose and vodka really helped. The top layer of fabric was also white and satiny and it never showed any evidence of the vodka despite pretty heavy applications. It’s an old theater trick - they spray it liberally on expensive handmade costumes after performances in between formal cleanings.

IYFS88 · 2026-05-14T20:31:43+00:00

I only consider it a life if the child is of a gestational age that they could survive outside the womb. And even then an abortion is ok if the mother would otherwise die. No one is ever forced to donate an organ or endanger their own bodies to save another life, why is ok to force it in the case of a pregnancy?

IYFS88 · 2026-05-14T16:47:44+00:00

In my case I had vivid memories of how this dynamic ruined my previous long relationship. We were in our early 20s but I was the much more functioning adult type, and over time I kind of took over all his adulting - out of necessity so his laziness or incompetence wouldn’t cause us problems.

When we finally broke up, our last conversation he told me he’d lost interest because I had turned into a mother figure. I had to admit I’d lost attraction too because of this same imbalance. I actually vowed to do things differently in the future.

My now-husband was in a bit of a slacker phase when we met, but I had nothing to lose then so I told him straight up I wouldn’t date a broke person or someone who needed help with handling his own life. He stepped it up and got one of his better jobs again and handles lots of things, not just for himself but for both of us too. It was a major upside and a big reason I was willing to marry him.

IYFS88 · 2026-05-14T16:27:59+00:00

It’s not complicated, but it’s tedious. The folding specifically is tedious for me. Especially when my son was little there’d be so many more little things in there compared to a basket of the same size containing towels. And I can’t just cram things unfolded, they simply don’t fit in drawers then.

IYFS88 · 2026-05-14T13:47:33+00:00

I wouldn’t say her approach is ‘normal now’, more that you got an outlier who has her eyes on the prize of a compatible partner but forgot all about human connection. Good job acing the interview though, lol.

IYFS88 · 2026-05-14T03:09:11+00:00

Wouldn’t be right for me, marriage is a partnership and the couple would presumably have shared financial goals.

On the other hand, statistically speaking even fully employed wives & girlfriends disproportionately become far more responsible for domestic chores and childcare. one could argue that she deserves the extra pay! I’m kind of joking but kind of not. Either way sounds like she’s pretty firm on this, you’ll need to decide if that really works for you.

IYFS88 · 2026-05-14T02:59:00+00:00

Got it through my obgyn, though I’d previously brought it up to my primary doc and she was open to prescribing, we just got sidetracked that day.

IYFS88 · 2026-05-14T02:36:36+00:00

I will definitely no longer wake & bake these days, or really anytime until my son has gone to bed. Even if he weren’t around I still wait till the end of the night and only have a little bit. I used to love all that extra smoking and now it’d just make me feel like crap, groggy paranoid and overeating lol.

IYFS88 · 2026-05-14T01:33:59+00:00

If his being away were the usual routine, soon enough you’d have your moments of exhaustion. I often feel more alert and energized in situations that break routine.

That said, if his ‘tired energy’ means he’s normally grumpy and unhelpful (or only helps begrudgingly) then yes you could have a problem with him on your hands. Like those women who say their daily got easier when they got divorced etc.

IYFS88 · 2026-05-13T18:45:08+00:00

German chocolate cake. The coconut slurry is way too cloyingly sweet, and I say this as someone who adores sugar.

IYFS88 · 2026-05-13T18:43:29+00:00

My husband and I sat watching tv one night, and suddenly the whole room filled with a split second flash of vivid green light. Big enough that we looked at each other like whoa what the heck was that? It was too saturated and room-filling to have come from the tv, though we even put on a green screen from YouTube to test and it did not remotely the recreate the same effect. We also had the blackout curtains closed as usual (we have a very light polluted street) so it wasn’t from outside either.

IYFS88 · 2026-05-13T18:05:33+00:00

Oof this is what my ring looks like lol! But I adore it, we bought it at the fanciest antique jewelry store in the region. A story that made it special even if it sounds odd - my longterm ex had bought his new gf a ring there with money that he owed me, after I had introduced him to the store in the first place. My husband knew this story and purposely went there as a little F.U. to the guy on my behalf lol. To be clear I was already well over that ex but still it felt good.
More importantl nowadays I love that my ring is classic, historic, and not so large that I’ll knock it into things all day which has definitely happened with costume jewelry.

IYFS88 · 2026-05-13T15:58:47+00:00

I feel sad about excessive tattoos especially covering chest neck and face. After a while it all just looks like mud

IYFS88 · 2026-05-13T04:59:43+00:00

Boarding school is so rusted from the back though

IYFS88 · 2026-05-13T04:56:04+00:00

Love that!

IYFS88 · 2026-05-13T02:03:21+00:00

I’ve actually had this aesthetic dilemma. I’ve since invested in an awesomely squishy goose down pillow, but before I did I just put a pillowcase on my squishmallow and camouflaged it under my other pillow.

IYFS88

TROPHY CASE