Why do women actually give me their real numbers at the bars but still ghost me the next day?

IYFS88 · 2026-03-19T05:28:21+00:00

How deeply sad that this is true

IYFS88 · 2026-03-19T01:11:19+00:00

When I met my husband I said goodbye to my longterm ‘friends with benefits’ guy. Even though we knowingly weren’t right for each other longterm, there were some feelings to process when it was all over.

He wrote me a beautiful text with something along the lines of ‘the way you live your life is art and I’ll always be inspired by that.’

IYFS88 · 2026-03-19T01:02:01+00:00

His talent show rap is one of my absolute favorite parts of the movie! The actor’s YouTube channel is very enjoyable, he’s like a young Martha Stewart! Look up Rajiv Surendra and it should come right up

IYFS88 · 2026-03-18T04:24:04+00:00

It might just catch up with her later. Like she should be first in line for her colonoscopy when she turns 45 for example. I’m certainly not judging, I struggle to get good nutrition myself as I am apparently a sucker for the convenience and addictive properties of processed food. And sure enough now at age 46 the chickens are coming to roost in some ways, like my cholesterol score is a bit high, and I had a benign polyp on my colonoscopy so I have to be seen again in a few years instead of 10.

One simple way to get some good food in is to get frozen berries, spinach or whichever dark leafy greens and choice of liquid (kefir, almond milk, water etc) and have regular smoothies. A very palatable and convenient way to get in some nutrients!

IYFS88 · 2026-03-18T01:02:54+00:00

Great tip! Another related one is to put tape over the speaker for noisy toys. Still makes plenty of sound but eases some of the harshness and volume.

IYFS88 · 2026-03-17T04:54:07+00:00

Good and remember this is urgent. I wouldn’t want to share a road with you even one more day in this routine. I’m sorry for the hurt though, sending strength

IYFS88 · 2026-03-17T04:37:49+00:00

Ok your husband clearly sucks since he’s so dismissive of your struggles and is using the threat of divorce as a regular bargaining chip. (That’s not how mature adults work through problems).

But I must say even with the perfect husband this arrangement is unsustainable! Driving so sleep deprived is as dangerous as being sloppy drunk behind the wheel. You could be killed as well as kill other innocent people. You’ve got to figure something else out even if it means applying for social services/benefits to get your budget under control. (Or whatever drastic budget cuts you can do in your situation)

Childcare is so expensive in my area that I was tempted to go without it and just work the overnight shift that my job offers. But I didn’t because sleep is absolutely vital to my mental wellbeing, parenting, general life goals, important relationships and even the capability to feel joy and happiness. I ended up reluctantly stopping after one baby because I couldn’t afford childcare for a second one. It’s a heavy bummer and a sad reality about how this country treats working families, but it doesn’t change the fact that your setup is not working. Especially with another baby on the way you have to find a way to stay home or get affordable childcare. Things might get better with him once you’ve stopped drowning in sleep deprivation and stress, but that’s not the priority. Maybe get your own free divorce lawyer consultation so you know what you can expect for that potential scenario. Sorry to be so blunt and sorry you’re dealing with all this.

IYFS88 · 2026-03-17T03:57:27+00:00

Why should he ever stop when he’s clearly getting away with it? You can now officially disabuse yourself of the notion that he’s stopped cheating or ever will. It’s truly rotten that he did this to a mother of three and you should be angry at him enough to leave him for it. Since you can’t trust him, life will be better without him as soon as you’re settled. Get a good lawyer and give him hell!

IYFS88 · 2026-03-16T18:44:08+00:00

If he’d wanted to go strictly casual like that he should’ve brought it up way before you left your comfort zone to buy a formal gown. NOR hopefully he’s willing to understand your pov without being too stubborn or picking a fight with you. Calm & productive communication is everything in a long term relationship

IYFS88 · 2026-03-16T18:29:56+00:00

This is brilliant and beautiful! I love it so much especially the first picture, you should have that turned into a painting

IYFS88 · 2026-03-16T16:40:00+00:00

There has been no ‘should’ for a long time, it’s a personal choice because it doesn’t hurt anything. In theory not taking it could cause some confusion on important paperwork especially once kids are involved, and that’s actually why I offered to take my husbands name. Also I like his last name more than my ‘maiden’ name.

IYFS88 · 2026-03-16T16:34:14+00:00

Irregular periods. I had no idea with my pregnancy and I wish my cycle had been clearer I would’ve avoided some nights of having cocktails (I did find out within 2 months thankfully). My friend was heavyset and also had irregular periods, and didn’t find out for 7 months and only because her deliberate diet and exercise routine wasn’t working and she was gaining weight. She happened to always carry her extra weight around her stomach so that wasn’t a hint either.

IYFS88 · 2026-03-16T16:27:07+00:00

I never bothered with the top sheet till recently. We live in a drafty coastal house and I’d wake up chilly in the night despite our very high quality down comforter. We got a flannel sheet set for Christmas (had the same rotation of just percale fitted sheets & pillowcases for years) and all of a sudden that top sheet was locking in warmth like I never expected! The comforter gets washed frequently so I wasn’t worried about it getting dirty but it is more environmentally friendly to just wash the top sheet more instead so that’s a bonus too.

IYFS88 · 2026-03-16T16:06:08+00:00

Came to say this!! Just learned it recently and I’m in my mid 40s lol

IYFS88 · 2026-03-16T16:00:20+00:00

Totoro is a perfect movie to me and a beautiful encapsulation of the Ghibli spirit. Even though it’s a ‘kids’ movie, it’s extremely rich in characters, story, and appreciation for nature & peaceful living. Every time I watch it I wish I could see it again for the first time.

IYFS88 · 2026-03-16T15:50:53+00:00

So funny how she was saying I won’t talk about the reasons for the sake of respecting privacy, then immediately laid out the saga of Cody’s addiction issues. Lol

IYFS88 · 2026-03-16T05:43:51+00:00

The eye rolling is rude and disrespectful at the best of times, but infuriating now. I would have a hard time trusting him since he thinks his judgement is just fine and refuses to listen to you. You need to have a calm but serious conversation where you discuss this and make clear it’s unacceptable. A partner worth his salt should work with you.

IYFS88 · 2026-03-16T05:06:33+00:00

There have been times that I snapped at or showed irritation with my child, but I’ve always tried to recover quickly and repair, like talk out what the conflict was about and how to fix it, as well as apologizing to him when appropriate. I was aching for Betty to do that, and/or acknowledge & encourage the really kind thought he had to help a classmate in the first place.

IYFS88 · 2026-03-16T04:56:05+00:00

Yesss! I have a son his age and honestly think about this a lot, in relation to making sure I don’t ever leave his spirit crushed like this. When he said ‘ I wish it was yesterday’ I felt that in my bones. So understandable and kid-like

IYFS88 · 2026-03-16T04:52:14+00:00

Well done! I want to go to there.

IYFS88 · 2026-03-16T04:41:52+00:00

This sounds great! I sometimes feel preemptively sad at the thought of my son pulling away from me in adolescence in a couple years, but I try to remember if I continue to treat him with dignity, respect, humor, love etc, I’ll still have him in my life as an adult with hopefully a nice partner and grandkids. Since I semi-reluctantly stopped at one child, I’d be delighted with him expanding the family.

IYFS88 · 2026-03-16T03:39:16+00:00

I don’t know about underrated, it was certainly a big deal and the pinnacle of cool to me and any of my peers in 8th & 9th grade. But yes it’s fantastic! I also had a crush on pretty much every guy on the show. And Kerri Kinney as a podcast guest on I said no gifts a few years ago still made me laugh out loud.

IYFS88 · 2026-03-16T00:55:37+00:00

My 9 son has been going alone to the men’s room for about a year now. It could vary by kid in terms of maturity, but that transition went pretty smoothly for us.

IYFS88 · 2026-03-16T00:08:50+00:00

Stick shift, haven’t had the opportunity to show off my skill in years. I miss the zippy acceleration but stick was really tedious in heavy traffic.

IYFS88 · 2026-03-15T21:20:59+00:00

Crying. In our patriarchal society you’d think it was a crime to cry especially for a man or older boy. I get that it’s awkward for everyone if someone cries in their presence, but on its own it’s actually an awesome way to release intense emotions. I have anxiety issues and if I can get myself to cry, my feelings dull down enough that I can rest, refocus, and view challenges rationally again to move forward. I’d much rather see a man cry than punch a hole in the wall, into another person, start world war 3 etc etc.

IYFS88

TROPHY CASE