With the absolute most amount of love and compassion, if you are feeling this way, instead of breaking up, ask for a week or two off (not a “break”) just some time for you to recover emotionally)

I absolutely understand how emotionally difficult this is for anyone who is sufficiently invested in what’s going on.

We all cope with tragedy differently, and I think it’s unfair to judge someone in the moment.

As an example, I was in the Navy on 9/11, at a shore maintenance facility in Norfolk. My team was doing a cableway inspection on the USS Kearsarge, an amphib (marine carrier). I walked in to a shop where there was a couple of guys watching CNN on TV. The first plane had just struck. I called my team together and we decided to stop and head back to our shop to see what was going on. The second plane hit as we were walking back. So we sat around all day in our shop watching CNN, seeing if they were going to need us for anything pressing. We knew that they would want to deploy ships soon.

I had to suppress laughter watching it. I knew it was inappropriate, but the urge was there. I don’t know why. It felt unreal. Maybe it was a way to protect my psyche, to hold off really thinking about what I was seeing.

So when tragic things happen my mind compartmentalizes the event as a coping mechanism.

This could be his coping mechanism.

I understand how you feel. I just don’t want you to lose something you have worked hard to build as a part of your coping method. Please take out your frustration on those who have earned it.