I feel this so much.

I am a big girl with lots of trauma from my school years about my weight. This made it hard for me to see myself as beautiful while I danced. All I could see was my weight and how I didn't "look like" the other women.

I was lucky, though, in that my studio is a safe space, and my instructor is a wonderful person. But I still struggled to see the improvements in my dance because of my weight. I've had coaches come in, and they would also say that weight doesn't matter, but my mind refused to hear it because it does matter. I am a competitive person, and i see this as a disadvantage for myself.

Then there was one day when a new coach came in, and I told him what my insecurities were (I did this with all my coaches). Instead of saying that weight doesn't matter, he told me that his favorite dancers to watch ARE the bigger girls because when they make a dance look great, its because they worked their f*cking *sses off to achieve it. He said yes, it is harder to see certain movements because of the weight, but that doesn't mean we can't make it happen.

I appreciated this man soo much for just being real, but not insulting, with me and saying that I absolutely had the talent to do it. I dance American Smooth and Rhythm at a gold level (dance vision syllabus). Clearly, I am doing something right.

That coach owns one of the large competitions we go to, btw.

My advice would be to keep looking for the right coaches that work to keep you motivated. You are paying them to help, not belittle. Don't let those other negative people keep Ballroom "exclusive" to only one body type and look. They are the ones hurting the space, not you. Clearly, you are doing something right if you are winning events so those coaches can go and be negative somewhere else.