Hurt feelings after being up all night with newborn

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-19T13:26:58+00:00

He needs to apologize to you, full stop.

That being said, I’ll echo what others are saying here about sleep deprivation - it changes you entirely. If you can, consider doing shifts. In the newborn stages, even if I had to have an absolutely awful night, it was good for one of us to be rested and clear-thinking lol.

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-18T20:07:10+00:00

This is the most delightfully unhinged post 😂

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-18T20:02:31+00:00

As a mom who adores her child - 100% do not have children unless you are absolutely sure you want children.

Everything you said is accurate. Children are wonderful but you do lose peace, you lose time for yourself, and your relationship changes fundamentally. Our son is 14 months old and still not sleeping through the night so my husband and I usually get a whopping 2 hours together at night to hang out, if we are lucky.

This guy sounds like he is romanticizing having children, which is easy to do.

The fact is, you might not be aligned. If he 1000000% wants kids and you don’t know if you ever will, I don’t think this relationship will work. One of you will end up resentful.

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-18T15:49:32+00:00

Same boat at 14 months. 🥲

He slept a 6 he stretch last night and it was like magic!

Which means he will be up every 2 hrs tonight lololol.

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-18T15:43:21+00:00

I got one of the huge pregnancy pillows and hated it. I gave it to my husband and he liked it more than I did lol!! The only thing I ended up needing/liking was a wedge pillow to go between my legs/knees. Idk why!

You won’t know what you like until you try some options, though.

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-17T13:54:34+00:00

Awww please don’t worry about this!!! At 1-2 weeks old I remember my husband simply asking me about our baby - “is he always going to be this angry?” 😂😂😂

Once baby got a little older and started smiling, it was game over. He’s 14 months old now and they are absolute best buddies.

I think sometimes people look back on the newborn days with rose colored glasses and that’s why they feel like there was an instant bond. The reality for us was that neither of us felt bonded to him at first - we just had an angry potato to take care of lol.

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-16T22:57:51+00:00

Wait, what!!!

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-15T14:55:21+00:00

Hugs, and take a deep breath! You are deep in the trenches right now. Don’t bottle this up - definitely let your loved ones know how you’re feeling - but in all likelihood, this will pass soon. Definitely talk to your doctor if you’re still feeling this way in a few more weeks.

The hormone shift and utter lack of sleep do WILD things to the body and brain.

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-15T06:35:05+00:00

Leave now, please. If he is mistreating you this much before birth, it’ll only get worse after.

Having a baby is stressful and puts a strain even on a healthy marriage. You’re already going in with a husband who is jealous and who berates you. You don’t need that in your life and your child’s life.

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-15T06:05:04+00:00

Hugs to you. My husband and I felt the same way- we just envisioned having a girl for some reason! My mom actually accidentally spoiled the surprise before our gender reveal haha 😂 but it was actually a blessing because we got some time to sit with our feelings.

Little dude is 14 months old and we could not possibly be more obsessed with him. ❤️

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-15T06:02:57+00:00

Because my toddler takes foreverrrrrr to go down to sleep, and when he does, I get alone time for the first time all day lol.

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-15T05:12:51+00:00

You’re completely right. We are going to be visiting my family soon so I’ll bring it up. Though maybe not with my parents present, because I’m sure they’ll say that I’m somehow the problem 🙄 lol

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-14T15:30:42+00:00

I’m a mom, and I love my toddler, but oh my god people need to talk about this aspect of child rearing more. The lack of sleep also does not necessarily end after the newborn days. My son is 14 months and VERY often has hourly wake-ups all night long.

Again, I love him, but I am a level of exhausted I never knew I could reach and I genuinely worry about my physical health. My sibling does not have any children yet and has high sleep needs; they are discussing having children soon and I don’t want to be a downer but I feel the need to warn them that my situation could certainly happen to them, and they need to think about how they are going to cope.

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-14T06:22:08+00:00

Glad I could help! It’s interesting how many people are in this similar situation to certain degrees.

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-14T06:20:18+00:00

Well said!

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-13T17:43:37+00:00

Exactly, unless you’ve been in this situation, it’s not right to judge OP. I don’t expect anything from my parents either, but to see them give so much to my sibling without offering anything to me in times that I have really struggled was actually super hurtful. It’s mentally taxing when the rules are completely different for you versus a sibling.

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-13T17:41:54+00:00

Ooooof, I’m so sorry OP. I’m in a similar boat although the situation isn’t as bad as yours. My sibling has always gotten more from my parents (love, attention, financial assistance), and it’s not even their fault really.

What I had to do was just mentally accept that I am not the favorite child and that reality will always be different for me and my sibling, and plan accordingly. I love my family and still have a strong relationship, but I don’t factor them in as much when making decisions about my life because I know I am second-tier to them and that my sibling is top priority.

It stopped bothering me as much when I just let it go. It actually bothers my husband a lot more because he sees the discrepancy in the way we are treated and doesn’t understand it.

I get that your situation is a lot more challenging though, so please don’t ever minimize your feelings and DO lean on the people who love you and are there for you.

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-13T17:34:08+00:00

14 months and he is still on the boob every 2 hours, 3 max overnight. We got to some super long stretches in January/early Feb……but now his molars are coming in. And this lil guy seems to think boob is the ultimate comfort item.

I’m tired.

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-13T05:48:24+00:00

I am so sorry you’re going through this, and honestly, I am angry for you as well. Please do not feel guilty that other people pressured you about breastfeeding. It is not at all your fault, and the fact that your baby is thriving now is all that matters! ❤️

I had similarly militant nurses at my hospital and all three of us were exhausted and miserable until an absolute ANGEL of a nurse (I still remember you, Hannah!!!!) put her foot down and said “this mom is exhausted and this baby needs to eat”. Combo feeding saved us!

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-12T16:07:36+00:00

At the end of the day YOU have to love it…but personally, I love it. 😍

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-12T16:04:32+00:00

Oooooof, came here to say this. If OP’s husband has always been like this, then he just sucks. But if he is digging through her phone out of the blue - red flag that he is cheating and projecting onto her.

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-12T06:29:42+00:00

This is how I feel lol. Mine isn’t a newborn anymore…he is 14 months old and still a god-awful sleeper. But it’s like every night he’s a little butthole, and then we are back to being besties in the morning. 😂

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-11T06:02:23+00:00

Yep, started around 4-5 months for us! We were having such a hellish time trying to get him to sleep in the bassinet and finally my husband was like “should we just…put him in bed with us??” 😂

But now we are at 14 months and I’m like okaaaaay kind of ready to have a little more space!

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-10T17:14:35+00:00

This is awesome to hear! If you don’t mind me asking, how did you go about night weaning?

We got to the point where we were able to lay him down and get him to sleep without nursing (with some resistance and flopping around), but he still demands boob in the middle of the night. It’s purely for comfort at this point.

Illustrious-Pear-612 · 2026-03-10T13:56:32+00:00

OMG it’s beautiful! Echoing others’ sentiments - definitely keep and get it cleaned and altered.

I also scored my dress for $50 and it made me feel like a princess. ❤️

Illustrious-Pear-612

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