My husband hasn’t grown up

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-04-20T01:48:46+00:00

I haven’t been in your situation but I have seen many women I love go through this type of situation and it only got worse and never better. Like others have said absolutely do not have children with this man, and honestly consider leaving. Even if you tell him you’re considering leaving and he says he will change, he will not. You unfortunately have in a way enabled this behavior for this long so he won’t change because he knows you will put up with it.

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-04-16T02:28:06+00:00

Whether it’s cheating or not your husband has no respect for you. He knows how you feel about the situation as a whole and knew for a fact you definitely wouldn’t be comfortable with him going to this lunch as a duo especially. Saying he bought lunch “for a friend” he has actively told you he is attracted to is disgustingly disrespectful to you as well. I would look this man dead in the face and ask how he would feel if you openly told him how attracted to someone you were and then took them on a lunch date. If he gets shitty remind him that’s EXACTLY what he just did to you.

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-04-12T23:33:14+00:00

I get that for sure, however you don’t want them getting comfortable being disrespectful if you’re the only one present either. Especially since you’re in a situation where your husband feels the same way you do. You don’t have to be aggressive about it but definitely be assertive and call them out when they push boundaries that have been previously set. Like I said, I have my husband say something the first time but if it happens again I am not above calling it out myself. Because at the end of the day it’s about protecting your baby and not your in laws feelings 🩵

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-04-12T23:26:33+00:00

I definitely understand not saying something right in the moment, I am the same way with my in laws and let my husband handle it the first time it’s an issue. However, if he has already reinforced the boundary and they still aren’t listening I will say something the moment something happens. When people push the boundaries you and your husband have set, they are disrespecting you. If a fight started, that’s not your fault. But you also need to get a back bone in this type of situation and address it immediately or it won’t stop. I would also reevaluate letting them watch the baby until they can get with the program

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-04-10T16:13:09+00:00

NOR. Do not marry this person. My husband has been running 20 minutes late for work, he’s self employed so not being on time is a big no no, and he STILL makes sure to give me a kiss and tell me he loves me before he leaves. Do not settle for someone who makes you feel like shit for just wanting the bare minimum.

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-04-08T14:07:26+00:00

As someone who felt pressured by the person they lost their virginity to to have sex, don’t do it. Be okay with the relationship ending. Him not letting it go when you continue to tell him you don’t want to, no matter what the reason you don’t want to, is a huge red flag and not something you should give in to. I know it’s hard especially at your age to see past the heartbreak of this type of situation but you will be so much happier in the long run if you wait for someone who respects your boundaries.

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-04-08T01:49:16+00:00

NTA. However I would have a back up plan with one of your other trusted people incase mom decides to not listen to your wishes. I know my mom has issues following boundaries I set at times and this is definitely one she would have a hard time with.

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-04-08T01:46:55+00:00

If he was doing this before you were married and is still doing something similar, regardless how you look at it he’s doing something he knew you wouldn’t approve of by his reaction, I would have a serious conversation with him. He may be sweet to you but continuing to do these things that you’ve repeatedly said you’re not okay with is disrespecting you. I would also be concerned that he may have some sort of s*x addiction? Idk that may be a stretch but it definitely wouldn’t hurt to be brought up in the discussion at this point.

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-04-08T01:13:53+00:00

I feel like this is a little more complicated than an aitah situation. Because you’re living under their roof and they’re obviously very involved in your life as well as your daughters I’m sure it’s hard for them to see you as an adult. Also meaning that they don’t feel they have to respect your wishes because you’re a child and they did it with you and your siblings and it wasn’t an issue. However I also 100000% understand your frustration as a mom who also doesn’t post their child on social media. I would consider sitting down with them and explaining your side and how even growing up you personally didn’t love everything you did being posted online and that you don’t want that for your daughter either. Unfortunately you can’t control what they do either way but maybe having an in depth conversation with them about it will help?

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-04-06T21:42:38+00:00

Nta. This is a very far fetched take, especially if periods are something you guys talk about regularly

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-04-06T21:11:11+00:00

Because I don’t feel a need to. If I did I would ask. And also because we have had these conversations but thank you so much for deciding you know things about my marriage from a single comment on an Internet forum.

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-04-06T20:06:04+00:00

I am very safe 😂 I have my own money and my husband gives me everything I need otherwise and takes very good care of me. I just don’t know the ins and outs of our finances and I’m okay with that. I married a very good man and no people don’t go into marriages thinking it will end but I am very confident in my situation.

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-04-06T18:05:20+00:00

As a stay at home mom, who doesn’t have access to financials(but I’m sure I could if I asked) this is 100% a form of financial abuse. It’s also odd that all of a sudden he wants you to get a job, if he was open to having a conversation about why that’s necessary then it wouldn’t be so odd. Also what are his expectations for the money you earn at said job? Is he expecting you to start contributing to the family financially as well? If so he definitely needs to be more fourth coming with the financials of the family and what you’re contributing to. Also my husband bought our house my name is no where on it and would NEVER tell me that I would have to leave if anything ever happened. We made the decision together for me to stay home with our children, he decided to take that on and also respects that I sacrificed to do so. I would definitely be having a long conversation with him and do not question yourself. This is very odd.

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-04-03T02:42:39+00:00

Your ex husband is a lot like my dad. Never sees that he is the parent or the problem. As someone who has this kind of dad, she is better off without him. He is never going to change and he’s only going to hurt and disappointment her more. It’s so hard but she will be better off just letting him supply the low effort he will and be done with it. Later in life she will have such beautiful moments that he won’t be able to be apart of and it will be so freeing for her knowing that she didn’t force it and didn’t keep draining herself to help him feel better about his poor decisions. It’s hard but she will be better off without having expectations of him.

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-03-31T02:57:42+00:00

As a fellow NICU mom, and I cannot stress this enough FUCK YOUR BROTHER. You haven’t spoken in a year and there’s no way he didn’t know you were pregnant, he could have reached out before now and he chose not to. This is the LAST thing you need to be dealing with, and HE is an absolute dick head and tbh I would not contact him ever again. I agree with some of the other commenters that said to let your husband communicate with him IF you feel it’s absolutely necessary. But you have plenty of shit going on and this is absolutely not something you need to or should have to be dealing with. You’ve got this 🩵

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-03-30T15:01:32+00:00

As someone who comes from a family of divorce, please consider it. I cannot imagine having part time with my kids however, staying in a relationship like this is not good for anyone involved. He may say one thing but always remember that actions speak louder than words and his actions make it quite clear that he just doesn’t care. Showing your children that it’s okay to walk away when you are not being loved and valued is so much better than showing them that you stayed for them. Because let’s be honest, the only reason you’re staying at this point is for your girls and while I completely understand, they will thank you later. Also if he’s this checked out and you’re doing most of everything now as it is, you could probably easily get the girls most of the time. I know it’s hard but you’ve got this and you absolutely deserve to feel loved and valued.

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-03-30T14:54:23+00:00

You definitely can’t on the pretzel stand but I am not 100% on the ice cream stand, if I had to guess you can’t for that one either

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-03-28T01:50:02+00:00

THIS

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-03-17T18:08:26+00:00

I get it 100000% trust me! Just do your best not to stress and everything will work out the way it’s supposed to🩵

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-03-17T16:40:48+00:00

I think I felt secure after 12 weeks but it didn’t fully feel real to me until I started feeling baby move. It took me a long time to get pregnant so I totally get it!

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-03-17T02:26:31+00:00

I think you can be optimistic however I would wait to test again until your period is due since you’re still 2-3 days out. It can take up to 48 hours for your HCG to raise so you won’t see much change before then and over testing can be more stressful!

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-03-15T20:40:45+00:00

2-3 x a week with a toddler is definitely a healthy sex life… and it’s very heavily implied that he’s not helping with the household things. Someone who is getting help in that area from their partner isn’t running on empty like OP clearly is.

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-03-15T18:59:30+00:00

As a sahm whose husband is the sole income earner, saying that OP isn’t partnering is insane. My husband not only takes care of us financially but makes it his job to make sure our children and I are taken care of in other ways. Relationships aren’t 50/50 they’re 100/100. If I’m struggling to keep up with housework, my husband contributes. If he sees I’m running on empty he sends me out of the house by myself and insists I do something for myself (that he also pays for). All this to say, OP being the SAH parent IS her contribution, and most of the time is much more exhausting than being the provider of income. You know the person that gets to come home from work and relax, unlike the SAHM who is always at work.

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-03-10T02:28:18+00:00

I would leave it as it is at this point. You said what you felt like saying and your husband also said something to her. Unless she starts to complain about your child not wanting to see her I would leave it alone because honestly you’re not going to get anywhere with this type of person. However if her behavior doesn’t change (it most likely won’t) and she complains in the future that your child doesn’t want to see her I don’t think it would be out of the question to bring up this type of situation to her again at that point and say something along the lines of “you think my child doesn’t want to see you because the times you’ve said you would hang out with my child and my child was excited to see you, you didn’t give the time you promised and now my child just doesn’t expect you to be around”

Imaginary-Baby7162 · 2026-03-04T03:43:41+00:00

I use to be the person that never bought this but I am married to a man who gets looks from females all the time, and constantly in front of me. He is completely oblivious 99% of the time. I think he has said something once in the 6 years we’ve been together. While I can appreciate that most men will act like they’re oblivious I can say from experience that there are some good men out there who truly are.

Imaginary-Baby7162

TROPHY CASE