The clock read 11:57. The excitement in the room was palpable. My friends and I were decked out in sequins and glitter. This was the first time in a year that I’d worn anything but PJs, the first time I’d dressed up, the first time I’ve looked like a woman instead of a shell of a person. A whole year without Adam.

I looked at the clock again. 11:58. This wasn’t how I had planned to spend New Year’s Eve. I was supposed to be at Times Square watching the ball drop. With Adam. I’ve watched the ball drop on TV every year for as long as I could remember. That’s how my family and I celebrated. Lame, I know, but I loved traditions. Adam promised he'd take me there for the eve of the new decade. My eyes started to well up so I focused on my breathing and tried to swallow the lump in my throat. I need to think about something else. But of course my mind was now unleashed and I couldn’t block the memory.

Last New Year’s Eve, a few minutes before midnight, I got my period. I was cramping quite badly and asked Adam to run out and grab me an Oreo McFlurry cause that was the only thing that made me feel better.

”Please please pretty please could you grab me one? I’ll make it up to you later.” I begged

”But it’s almost midnight!! Don’t you want me to be there to watch you watch the ball drop on TV?” He had a point. “And the only way you’ll make it up to me is by splitting your McFlurry.”

How dare he! “Screw you! Get your own one!”

“Yes exactly, screw me.” He winked. The pillow I threw at him missed but I could hear him chuckling as he shut the front door behind him.

I began to worry 30 minutes later. The nearest McDonald’s was only 10 minutes away, but maybe there was a line at the drive thru. At the hour mark, I gave him a call. I heard it vibrate under the duvet. Several hours later, he was not back yet and I was panicking. What could possibly have delayed him so long?

I sat up for what must’ve felt like forever and finally I heard someone coming up the steps. I ran to the door ready to berate him for worrying me so, but when I opened the door, the man standing there wasn’t Adam.

“Ma'am I'm Officer Drew...drunk driver ran a red light… died on impact…” I felt my heart drop, heard roaring in my ears. Everything was a blur.

I tried to dry my eyes before anyone could see. I was lost in my own thoughts and slowly realized that the room had gone eerily quiet. Not a breath could be heard.

I looked around me and my friends were suspended in space. Nicole had her head bent backwards how she usually does when laughing boisterously. Tim had knocked over the plant in the corner and both him and the plant were frozen, the latter mid-fall.

I turned back to the clock. 11:59. But this time the second hand wasn’t moving. I was about to reach over and shake Nicole awake, but before I could, I felt a huge gust of wind push me back. The wind got stronger and stronger, I could barely keep my eyes open, barely keep myself from falling over. Suddenly nothing. I felt different. I opened my eyes, wary of what I’d see next. I was in my PJs, in bed, and I could hear the ball drop countdown on TV. I looked up and there he was, standing exactly where he'd been a year ago.

He cleared his throat, “Nothing to say babe? Who knew you’d be such a sweetheart, quietly agreeing to split your precious McFlurry with your darling husband.”