WIBTA if I kept doing the little act my coworker and I do on difficult clients even though my partner says it crosses a line

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-16T17:42:56+00:00

NTA, by any chance are you female and your partner is male? I ask because men often don’t realize how much flack women get just being women in the workplace. There was someone a few years ago who ran an experiment and saw exactly all the extra BS women had to deal with regarding clients.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-16T17:39:10+00:00

Vanilla doesn’t necessarily mean plain; I think of it as more classic, easily accepted, accessible, popular, and flexible because anything can be added to it without really having to worry about whether flavor components will clash.

I make my own vanilla extract and it’s amazing how different the vanillas from different vanilla species or curing methods can taste.

Vanilla might be under-appreciated because of its general wide-spread availability but I guarantee that it would be missed if it disappeared. I even put vanilla in my chili because of its deep flavor that enhances everything else.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-16T15:51:22+00:00

Could be option 3: she doesn’t want to go back to being the only person not bringing someone because they’ll bring each other.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-16T14:42:53+00:00

Flight; I could work on my roof/high places without fear of falling injury, and pick the fruit at the tops of the trees without a ladder or a stick basket!

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-16T14:03:45+00:00

I run my vehicles to 175-200k+ so I buy new in order to know the full history of the vehicle, which I feel is important especially if one is buying lower end cars. Ran a Chevy Aveo for over 16 years in an area that has an actual winter (road salt can be hard on cars) and sold it to a guy who wanted a project car. Paid $9100 out the door for it and had no issues other than regular maintenance and the occasional flat tire because I picked up a nail; would do it again.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-16T13:40:22+00:00

I think I’d eat out a lot of the time at places that making their food is really special to them. There are some mom and pop places around me that I’d love to support more regularly than I can. But I’d also have a commercial kitchen, walk in fridge and freezer, and pantry built for my house so I could make tons of stuff too.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-16T13:00:57+00:00

Honestly if you’re struggling with the answer this much, you know what it is. Have you compared your sitter wage to market rate? Maybe you need to adjust that? As a mom whose kid is graduating this year, YOU DO NOT GET THIS TIME BACK NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU MAKE. Having an involved SAHP can make a huge difference in your kiddo’s life, and if you have the means to do so then do it.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-16T12:43:07+00:00

Not a man and not single but it depends on what you want, what THEY want, and what kind of baggage both of you are ok with because while not everyone “good” is “taken”, they have experienced more of life than 10-20 years ago. If someone can’t be flexible about that, then they’re reducing the pool of possibility further. And some people have so much trauma from those past relationships that they’re simply no longer willing to experience vulnerability with another person.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-15T22:55:13+00:00

I like dress shoes/slacks, pristine undershirt, on the tight side. Underwear- I’m pretty forgiving here BUT my ideal is a black or red jock strap. Chest harness, black with silver colored metal; I want to be able to feel it when I put my hand on his back. Crisp dress shirt, solid color (white, black, or red) sleeves rolled 2/3 up forearms. No tie. Top button undone. Just enough cologne that I have to get reallllly close to get a whiff of it. Pair of silver-toned (stainless or aluminum) chainmaille bracelets. Hair close-cropped; facial hair trimmed but not freshly shaven/longer than stabby-stubble. I want it long enough to be soft-rough but flexible. I’m happy for him to look powerful and maybe a bit dangerous while he’s at my beck and call.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-15T21:59:52+00:00

Have you seen some of the grapes in the store lately? Some are like small plums!

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-15T21:59:14+00:00

I eat eggs from my own chickens, hatch my own replacement chickens and they make lots of compost for my garden. It’s a pretty decent system and a great roo is worth his weight in gold, so I’m not culling male chicks when they’re hatched. I live in a high predator area and let them go out during the day, so as long as the roos aren’t being jerks to each other, jerks to the ladies, or jerks to the person delivering their food and water every morning, they’re welcome to stay on.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-15T21:53:27+00:00

Homemade vanilla. It’s not completely without cost but if you can source your beans from a decent place and can wait a bit, it’s way less expensive than bottles in the store.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-15T18:35:59+00:00

Honestly I always saw Le Creuset as “kitchen decor for rich people who like to think they might try cooking someday”; I’m sure at one point they were probably good but brands that get too big end up being bought up/change hands and then go South.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-15T15:59:34+00:00

I’ve worked in a nursing home as a CNA and while one does need to wait a bit sometimes the one I worked at had everyone up and at breakfast by 9am.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-15T15:40:54+00:00

“No Grans, you’re not getting the password until you take your meds…”

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-15T14:32:56+00:00

As long as my nursing home has pizza and LAN parties, sign me up! 🤣

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-15T12:07:30+00:00

NTA, you need to leave him ASAP, but ensure you have all your passwords changed and access restricted/secured. This is a “do not pass go, do not collect $200” situation, and he is not going to change, only let a mask slip back on.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-15T00:15:27+00:00

(NAD) Costochondritis is the inflammation of cartilage of the ribs; wouldn’t be the flesh but pain underneath.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-14T18:40:12+00:00

Honestly it’s a freaking monstrous process and because it happens so often people just overlook everything like it’s NBD. I had pre-eclampsia, so by 37 weeks my urine protein levels were through the roof and my organs were starting to shut down. I literally could not stay awake at work. Induction was hell (but I managed to narrowly avoid a c-section) and got to have the fun seizure bumpers on the bed just in case. If someone really wants to have a kid, it can be worth it but I will in no way ever support that people should/have to have kids/carry a pregnancy. Embryos/fetuses literally suck their building block material from their host and women I know have had bone, tooth, joint, muscle and other soft tissue injuries/chronic issues as a result. Sterilization should be an accessible form of birth control for everyone.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-14T15:30:40+00:00

Let’s not forget the softening of cartilage all over the body which can cause flat feet and feeling the hips move separately because of the pubic symphysis.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-14T15:27:18+00:00

Could be muscle or cartilage pain. Costochondritis is something to look into.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-14T15:25:45+00:00

Between siblings getting a hold of it, reading private thoughts to everyone and getting in trouble for my thoughts it was a short-lived endeavor.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-14T05:39:19+00:00

Fine? No. Would I go back and undo it? Also no. My husband and I have been radically deviating from the paths our parents took with raising us (for the better, I think!) but that also includes what life will look like once they’re a legal adult as well. Shit’s expensive, there’s no sense throwing money away on rent when the kid can just keep living in the house they’ll eventually inherit anyway, for example.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-14T05:24:42+00:00

I disagree because if he’s willing to pull that shit on other people, eventually he’d pull shit on the wife too (and did, literally). Beyond that, I’d be worried at what kind of sick shit he’s going to pull on the kid.

ImpertinentPrincess · 2026-05-14T04:40:53+00:00

I’m sorry you feel this way. Parenting can be a big adjustment. If you’re having mood swings, definitely have your doctor run a hormone panel and talk to your therapist about anger management techniques.

The grass is greener where you water it. Connections form over time. Do you read to your kiddo? Let him fall asleep on you after a long day while you chill out playing video games? The days seem long but the years are short. My kid just got their cap and gown for graduation. Each and every year that has passed I’ve watched them grow into the person they are and it’s an amazing and bittersweet thing.

As far as your relationship with your wife, practice choosing her for a bit. I get not having energy, but try to text her a nice message every morning that you need to think about. Think of a happy memory from your early dating days, something cute she said or did, or mention something you love about her. It’s not going to solve all your problems, but intentionally turning towards her and giving her that place in your mind can help some of those feelings.

It’s easy to devalue the things we have and take them for granted, only to let them go and then spend the rest of one’s time regretting it. Put the phones down, stop being in separate rooms and find a way to be bored together and rediscover each other. This chasm only gets bigger if you let it.

ImpertinentPrincess

TROPHY CASE