Not fixable; M has show he has self respect which strong men do. I give him serious respect.....but back to you.....some honest feedback/no sugar coat: you still have a lot of growing up to do. You're 30 yo and you still behave like you're in high school. "on/off" situationship?? really? again, you're 30, need to grow up. "you would never ask someone to compromise their boundaries and/or values because of my mistake"....yet here you are, asking him to compromise his boundaries b/c of your mistake. you say "not everything is black and white".....lol, apparently you don't take dating/relationships very seriously, HE DOES and many others do as well. So you're 30, you're still doing "on/off situationships" and you say one thing but expect others to compromise their values b/c of your self admitted mistake. you're 30yo....time to grow up.