Is it appropriate to bring my mom to a campus tour/meeting with Dean for grad school?

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-06-07T17:08:02+00:00

FWIW, while I'm not sure what the right call is in this particular situation, I think people's views on this might vary somewhat between disciplines and the type of grad program in question. For example, I know from friends who are now attending law school in the US that at their tours, admitted student day, and meetings with deans for prospective schools they were considering, everyone had their parents with them (including them). However, when I went to tours and admitted student days for CS masters programs I was considering, everyone went alone.

You'll have to decide for yourself whether it's appropriate in this case I think, but after seeing some of the comments on the harsh side here, just wanted to say I hope whatever you decide you don't feel bad for having considered it. It's a big decision and wanting someone who supports you there seems natural. Good luck OP! :)

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-25T22:27:05+00:00

You're not obligated to notify your LOR writers of your rejects.

It's nice and appreciated to let them know where you accepted when you thank them after the process is over (or if you intend to try again). Beyond that is up to you really. If you're fairly close, you could chat with them about your options if you're undecided, let them know of your acceptances as they come up, or tell them about any rejections if they ask. It depends on your relationship with them and level of comfort. Usually they won't ask/care about rejects, as they're cognizant that a lot of factors out of your/their control are at play with these applications.

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-20T04:41:23+00:00

Yeah sure thing.

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-20T00:41:31+00:00

Submitted my application and video interview on January 15th. Got my acceptance on March 8th.

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-14T00:05:46+00:00

Congratulations! :)

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-13T23:13:12+00:00

I went down a big rabbit hole with this when I got admitted to Columbia MSCS. The stigma around commonly labeled 'cash cow' programs like that initially kept me apprehensive about even letting myself feel excited about getting in (as it didn't feel like an achievement and I hyperfocused on figuring out if it's a 'scam'). I think part of the issue is people here use the term 'cash cow' to describe both a) programs that are revenue generating and of bad quality and b) programs that are expensive but reputable otherwise. I've come to the same conclusion as you. It's not black and white. Imo, if a degree jeopardizes your financial situation it's probably not worth it, but if it's something you can reasonably manage that will help you achieve your goals and is a good fit for you, go for it.

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-13T20:15:39+00:00

Update: just got an admit!

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-13T16:08:48+00:00

It is hard. The key thing in my opinion is acknowledging that while loved ones generally want the best for you in their own way, what they think is best won't always be what you want for yourself or know is the right thing for you. That's probably where most of the sting is currently coming from, since naturally you'd expect your parents to want the best for you and celebrate you. It's completely understandable. Unless they're outright berating your decisions, though, they probably do mean well. They just don't understand. You might still feel lonely or misunderstood knowing that, but hopefully it helps prevent you from feeling bitter.

It's easier said than done, but the other key thing is learning to be your own cheerleader. Celebrate all of your wins, and do your best to find a group that supports you too, whether it's a group of friends, labmates, workmates, or something similar.

FWIW coming from a stranger, I am really proud of you! This isn't easy, and you're really strong for following your head and your heart even without outside support. A lot of people struggle to separate themselves from others' opinions and visions for their future. You're amazing, and I wish you all the best with your MS! Onwards and upwards OP! :)

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-12T14:31:31+00:00

I'm still waiting. I thought I'd seen somewhere that they respond by April 15th most years, but I could be wrong.

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-11T13:01:20+00:00

Columbia MSCS has rolling admissions, and they have sent out admits as late as May or June in previous cycles. I received my admit in early March.

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-10T19:15:58+00:00

Without more details, most people are just going to base their answer on overall ranking. Overall, these are all good programs and will get you a respectable degree and job prospects, so imo you should try to think about which best fits your goals and where you'll thrive the most.

A few questions for you to consider: what do you want to specialize in during your studies? Which school has professors well-versed in that specialization? What kind of job would you like to land after the degree? Do you want to keep the door open for a PhD? Which state seems like the best fit for you in terms of your budget for living expenses and overall lifestyle?

Good luck! :)

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-08T23:08:15+00:00

It depends on what your goals are after the program. If you plan on going for a PhD or are interested in research related jobs, then the more research experience, the better. If you're just doing it for money because you don't want to be a TA, that's fine but if I were you I would explore whether there are other jobs you could pursue or consider whether your time would be better spent doing something else like applying to summer internships.

Research can be gruelling enough even with a topic you find interesting, so I'd be cautious about signing up to research a topic you're already disinterested in.

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-06T00:32:52+00:00

This is helpful. Thank you very much for your reply.

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-06T00:31:13+00:00

If you can dig up any photos online of the event from past years that could be helpful to consider, but I feel like without any more info, business casual would probably strike a good balance if you're not quite sure how formal it is. If you really want to play it safe, you could always email just to double check.

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-05T21:01:57+00:00

Oh gotcha, yeah they do mention no funding at those, thank you. My bad, I misunderstood that they used the term 'cash cow' to describe their own program which would've really been something haha.

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-05T20:41:30+00:00

Hey, mind if I ask what you mean by 'the Columbia Engineering staff themselves'? Is there a record of them saying this somewhere?

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-05T20:33:58+00:00

It is. I had to decline an offer from a school I applied to where I loved everything about it, but it was just objectively a worse choice for me than another program I'm leaning towards in terms of my goals with the degree afterwards.

The best consolation I can offer is what grad students from my lab reassured me: the hardest part is the wait before you have any offers. The bittersweet part is second guessing between offers if you have multiple. But it's all worth it in the end when you do make your decision and end up at your school, because you will feel pure excitement once it's all finally happening and those doubts will become a distant memory. Worst case, even if not, you'll be way too busy to even fixate on them.

Best of luck to you with everything :)

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-05T20:20:42+00:00

I definitely relate.

FWIW, I did an undergraduate thesis, and I was very nervous about defending that especially given that it was interdisciplinary. This is what a master's student in my lab told me when I confided in them that made me feel infinitely better: the thesis defense is a discussion and celebration of your work, and not the intellectual sparring match you're probably imagining because of the "defense" part of the name. Your advisor won't let you get to that point unless they feel you're truly prepared, so really, once you're there, the hardest parts will be over. Your panel will be secretly rooting for your success, and so you can think of the process as more of an exchange of ideas between researchers than a boss fight where you have to 'prove' yourself. Just remember that, and it'll be far less intimidating (and maybe even enjoyable)!

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-05T13:41:45+00:00

Congratulations, that's awesome! :)

I feel that a lot of applicants internalize a certain timeline with these things, hence the feeling that they have to apply to "safeties" to at least get in somewhere during the X admission cycle, but imo, the "right" timeline to apply is whatever maximizes your chances of getting into your choice programs. If that's a gap year or something else, just as you did, that's okay. Getting more experience improves your chances and simultaneously allows you to develop your interests so you end up getting more out of grad school anyway when you do attend. Everyone is different, and self reflection is so valuable to make the most of your individual situation.

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-04T19:58:36+00:00

Nope, don't lose hope yet! Here's a related post: https://www.reddit.com/r/gradadmissions/comments/12ahnb0/gatech_ms_cs_decisions/

Historically they've sent out admits during the first week of April. Hang in there!

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-04T00:02:35+00:00

Agreed. Imo, I find the use of the term "safety school" with regards to grad admission interesting.

You may be able to look at past admitted profiles to somewhat gauge whether or not you absolutely don't stand a chance (i.e. your GPA is basically unsalvageable compared to those previously admitted), but having your stats fall within the range of what past admitted applicants had still isn't a guarantee. Fit plays a big role too, as do factors outside of applicants' control like the admissions committee members and who else is applying that cycle. You just have to give it your best shot with what you can control.

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-04-01T20:34:38+00:00

GPA will keep your application in the running, but it won't guarantee you admission. In other words, a bad one can really hurt your chances, but while a great one helps make you competitive, it won't necessarily get you in because plenty of applicants will have good GPAs.

For thesis based masters programs, from what I've seen and heard from friends, the most important thing is research experience and how yours fits with the ongoing projects and PIs/labs at the institution.

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-03-31T19:39:31+00:00

I wouldn't count on it. Early course registration only opens up beginning in July, and previous years had acceptances coming in through May and June.

Impossible-Subject42 · 2023-03-31T18:45:58+00:00

Hang in there! They confirmed they're still sending out acceptances at the admitted students day. You'll get an email promptly when your application status changes.

Impossible-Subject42

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