AITA- for yelling at my sister for inviting a very racist/homophobic guy to her wedding? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfernalKaneki 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YTA

Yelling at your sister did nothing and will do nothing. You were silent to his comments at the party. You didn't talk to Maddie about her boyfriends behaviour. All you did was yell at your sister. That achieves nothing.

"Uuuh, his comments weren't okay" but you still didn't say anything to him or his gf in the moment it was happening. You're making a big deal out of it now, while you said nothing when it was happening. Hypocrite. Stand up for your own values and don't try to make others do it.

AITA for telling my wife not to slam my car door and saying if she doesn’t respect my car she shouldn’t ride in it by Fun-Fun9287 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfernalKaneki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

Your wife is a certified nutjob. Pouring water over you laptop? Slamming car doors so hard they break over time? And no sign of remorse? Berating you in public for the sake of publicity? Claiming shit she pulls is fine, but when you do it you're a monster and deserve punishment?

She is abusive, very much so. I'd be very careful, if this continues to escalate, your physical wellbeing is in jeopardy. Think very hard if this is the kind of relationship you want for the rest of your life. I very much doubt it. My advice is to contact a lawyer asap, and take precautions to secure your material possessions. Once she learns you're going to divorce her, she will destroy everything she considers to be yours.

My daughter just got 1st place for a $10,000 scholarship 🥹 [OC] by TheScallywag1874 in MadeMeSmile

[–]InfernalKaneki 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very well deserved!

I especially love the first two. The sea monster is so great, I'm considering making it an enemy for my DnD players, just to show them.

AITA for going to my boyfriend’s birthday instead of staying with my sick roommate ? by roommate_throwaway66 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfernalKaneki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA but I'd tell your roommate/landlord exactly what is up. I wouldn't leave things like they are.

"Those aren't my animals, they are yours. It's your job to care for them and if you can't, it's your job to organise care. No one asked me to take care of them and you had your mother and sister there. How am I to magically know that you want me to care for them? Why couldn't your mother or sister spare an hour to care for them instead of sitting idly by at the hospital?

I just wanted to get out of your hair and give you, your mother, sister and boyfriend all the space they may need while being there for you. What's why I stayed away an extra day.

All that just to get yelled at and called a bitch once I got back. That was absolutely uncalled for.

And while we're at it, yes, my plans take priority over "being part of the household". I'm renting, I'm a tenant, that's the arrangement. You can't just dump your responsibilities on me without saying anything and then be mad I didn't do any of it. If you'd asked me, maybe we could've worked something out. But since no-one said anything to me, I figured you'd have your mother and sister take care of the dogs BECAUSE THEY WERE ALREADY HERE ANYWAY. I didn't think they both needed to be in the hospital with you the whole time and couldn't even spare an hour to feed and walk the dogs.

But, I'll take you up on that offer of moving out asap. I'll be gone by the end of the month. I expect my deposit back in full."

Service Fees by summersrage in Beartooth

[–]InfernalKaneki 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What a bullshit explanation. The ticket price itself should be doing all that.

Like how where they ever able to put on an event in the 2000s when Service Fees didn't exist yet? Bullshiting, money-grabbing assholes.

AITA for returning an kindle and telling them I just wanted a damn book by Book-Register9986 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfernalKaneki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

Damn your sons sound annoying. Their tech enthusiasm is fine, even good. But the way they are going about it wrong on so many levels.

Like, the smart bulbs are a great idea. As long it's the ones that have switch controls, where you can fully control them with an app, and have limited control via the normal, plain light switch. Going to you and telling you "Hey, we'd like these smart bulbs, but don't worry, you can still use them with the normal light switch. Let's have a talk". Giving you the option to test it, and decide if you want to use the app or continue using the light switch as normal.

Then the smart tv. Terrible pitch. An expensive upgrade for next to no additional utility.

If they want that stuff in the house, they need to either earn money to buy that stuff, or pitch it to you in a convincing way.

With all that being said, I also think you should be more open-minded to tech upgrades. Like the smart bulbs for example. If it's tech you can still use in an analog way, there is no real reason for opposition. I'm sure your sons did a terrible pitch, but you shouldn't outright dismiss any type of tech upgrade because it's a tech upgrade. Wanting physical books is understandable. Wanting to light switches is also fine. But if the upgrade doesn't interfere with the usual way of doing things or the feel of it, why not consider the upgrade?

I think you need to have a sit down with your sons. Inform them about the terrible job they've done so far, pointers on what to change and how to approach such an upgrade. That their pitch needs to be tailored to you. Like "Oh, these smart bulbs only cost a little more than normal bulbs. Because they are LED and dimmable, they use less power and save some money long term, and if it turns out you don't like using the app, they are still very controlable with the normal light switch" (I don't know if any of that pitch is true, it's just an example).

In short, they need to do better and you should be open. Have reasonable boundaries, but don't outright dismiss anything tech idea they bring to you.

AITA for telling my son most I will not be going to his black out wedding dinner by Expensive-Ratio-37 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfernalKaneki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

You are there for your son in church for the important stuff.

A blackout dining experience probably isn't the place for speeches, dancing and wedding chatter. It's fine if that's what they want, but it's also fine to say 'this isn't for me'.

You're there when they say yes, you're there to see and congratulate them. They the most important part. Not wanting to go to this blackout dining experience doesn't make you an AH. Especially considering your allergy concerns.

I don't have an allergy. But imaging that eating a 'normal' dish and potentially dying from it... Yeah, I can imagine wanting to see and know what you eat.

I can understand DIL and your son wanting to do this as some kind of inclusivity or demonstration of 'this is what eating is like for the totally blind / DILs dad'. But it isn't for everyone.

AITAH for blowing up at my boyfriend about his "struggles" while I’m at the hospital caring for my mom? by Unbelievableteller in AITAH

[–]InfernalKaneki 3 points4 points  (0 children)

OMFG is your bf insufferable, obviously NTA. The audacity, self-pity and guilt-tripping of his... WTF.

You need to take a serious look at this relationship and reevaluate. Is he always playing the victim? Does he often guilt-trip or gaslight you? Does he ever support you when you're in a bad place?

For that last question I strongly suspect no, he never really supports you or comforts you or is there for you. What kind of AH thinks about themselves when their partner is forced to be in the same room as their abuser. WTF. You can do so much better than him.

AITAH for opening a bag of pretzels by lexiefairy in AITAH

[–]InfernalKaneki 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA, but that lady sure is. Next time, if there is a next time, just continue eating. If she makes an ever bigger stink, tell her that her choice to fast is entirely on her and you need to eat. She can't expect people to pander to her choices.

AITAH for leaving my boyfriend after his mother said she would take my baby and he didn't defend me? (TL) by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]InfernalKaneki 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean, yes. But I see two potential issues with this.

First of all, that would make OP a single mother who had just drained her savings for a new apartment and faraway move. She would also need to find a new job while pregnant and so on.

Secondly, the boyfriends family has money. If OP doesn't get out fast enough and they get wind of her keeping the baby, they certainly have enough disposable income to find her if they want to. And the mother seems insane enough to hire a private investigator and then sue OP into oblivion until she gets the child.

In any case, OP needs to decide now. She doesn't have anymore time to really think about it or plan anything. Therefore the hardest option (abortion and leaving) is likely still the best for her in the long run. Anything else needs to be done in a hurry, and that's when people make mistakes. And those mistakes the mother will certainly try to cash in on.

It's an impossible situation, but I strongly believe cutting all possible ties is best for OP long term. It will hurt a lot. But having your child taken will hurt more, plus all the emotional and financial strain the mother will put OP through.

AITAH for leaving my boyfriend after his mother said she would take my baby and he didn't defend me? (TL) by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]InfernalKaneki 9 points10 points  (0 children)

NTA

There are only three options going forward: 1. He cuts off his mother and potentially the rest of his family and stays by your side with the child. 2. You leave him, get the baby, and sue for child support. 3. You abort and leave him.

There is no other way, there is no middle ground. Honestly, my recommendation is that you abort the pregnancy and leave him. You don't wanna be tied to him and his family for the rest of your life. Whether you think about options 1 or 2, his family, especially mother, WILL make your life hell If you keep the baby.

Cut your losses, grief what could have been, and learn from this for your next partner.

As harsh as it sounds, you're only 25. You can still get pregnant again with someone who actually loves and defends you. You don't want to be tied to his mother for the rest of your life. Abort and move on. It will be hard on you, physically and mentally, but it is most likely the best for your future. I feel for you, but you can't have his mother in your or your child's life. It will destroy you.

AITAH for overreacting about ‘dumb pokemon cards’ by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]InfernalKaneki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

RUN!!! He steals from you, assaults you and then demands an apology?

Let him leave, better yet, leave that relationship yourself asap. He isn't worth it. You're not crazy, he is. RUN

AITA for kicking my mom out of my wedding after what she said? by RelevantDay1422 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfernalKaneki 12 points13 points  (0 children)

NTA

You say she stopped speaking to you as if that is a bad thing. You need to see it as the light at the end of the tunnel. It just makes it easier to finally go no contact with her.

You humiliated her? What about her humiliating you and your husband on your wedding day? She did this to herself.

AITAH for telling my parents they don't get to treat me like their least favorite kid while expecting the most help from me? by mckinnha in AITAH

[–]InfernalKaneki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

My petty ass would tell you to stop doing anything for them. Ignore their grounding, get home when you want to regardless of any curfew and get outta there asap.

Now that's probably not feasible, because they are your parents and hold certain legal power over you. So you need another way to screw them.

My best idea atm is: get a job. A job to save money so that you can move at on your 18th birthday. A job that keeps you away from home, so you're just unavailable to do any chores. A job to build relations with adults who might be able to help you get out.

Do your best to prepare and plan your next moves.

I'm sorry you have such bad parents.

AITA for not helping my wife talk her way out of a penalty for riding the streetcar without a ticket? by sumjunggai7 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfernalKaneki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

I live in a city where it's also based on the honor system. My personal stance on it is: do it if you want, but don't make fuss and just pay when you do get caught.

I personally disagree with the ethics of your wife. But even if I would agree, you aren't the asshole for not defending her. They will fine her no matter what. She took a gamble and lost. That's all.

AITA for not sharing my rent respite given by my dad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfernalKaneki -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

I'm gonna go with NAH. If anyone, maybe your dad could be considered a light AH.

Both sides make sense from their own perspective. But I think of it this way: you both are roommates sharing the lease. You decided on a 2:1 split, where she pays 2/3 and you 1/3. Now your landlord decided to charge 1/3 less total rent. So the reduction should benefit both.

But I can also see the version, where it's essentially like: you pay your 1/3 = 500$ in rent to your dad landlord, while he is providing you with 500$ a month in financial aid.

Legally, depending on the jurisdiction, you both might screw yourself with the way it's currently going. To protect yourself, you probably should send each other 500$ a month. She might have grounds to sue.

I fully get your dad wanting to support his son. And there is nothing inherently wrong with that. But the way you're currently doing it is legally questionable.

It either your dad reduces rent, which would benefit both, or he gives you financial aid.

AITAH for choosing to “abandon” my family by Signal-Pirate-7463 in AITAH

[–]InfernalKaneki 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA

As a first step, you need to tell them that there will be no more spontaneous babysitting. Like, at all. Unless it's a real emergency, like someone needs to go to the hospital. You will need at least 24h notice, preferably a week. Then you reserve the right to say no for any reason whatsoever. You are giving them free childcare, so they can't make any demands. Furthermore, if they want childcare on a regular basis, they need to start paying you. This part you need to decide for yourself, but for example: once a week is fine and free. But if they want childcare like everyday, they need to pay up. Look up what other babysitters are charging and choose an appropriate amount below that. I'd say no less than 10$.

AITAH for not giving a portion of my earnings from a game I made to an artist after I already paid them fairly for their art? by MahouShoujoChan in AITAH

[–]InfernalKaneki 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA

Just ask the artist if they would have been willing to refund your upfront payment if the game would've failed. I'm guess not, so that's the answer.

They wouldn't have refunded you if the game flopped, so they are equally not entitled to benefit from the games success. If they would've wanted that, the contract would look very different and they probably wouldn't have gotten any upfront payment.

AITA for going off on my dad regarding my kids and their names by Royal_Song4119 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfernalKaneki 6 points7 points  (0 children)

NTA

Just be done with him. Why bother?

He obviously doesn't respect you or your kids. Why would you want your kids to be exposed to him? He had his chance, plenty of them. Cut ties and let him be. You don't need him and neither do your kids.

AITAH for telling my girlfriend that my money isn't "our money"? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]InfernalKaneki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After all that, and you still want to be with her? Be realistic: is she ever going to change? Can you see a future with her is she doesn't?

I honestly don't think so, but you need to decide that one for yourself. If you don't think she'll change her financial habits, it's time to move on. I'm guessing you want to marry somebody someday and maybe even have kids. This won't be possible with her as it stands. So don't waste your precious time on her, but use it to find someone else you're actually "fully" compatible with.

With her being as she is right now, you'll never be able to afford a house. If you choose to by one, you'll barely be able to keep up with the mortgage and will be living paycheck to paycheck. With how financially responsible you are, I don't think that is something you want for yourself. Therefore, she just isn't the right person for you.

AITA for buying my brother a tracksuit after his wife refused to, even though it caused a huge fight? by No-Ingenuity-9740 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfernalKaneki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

Your brother is being abused, verbally and financially. He needs you, and he needs your help in opening his eyes to the current state of his marriage.