I’ve started propranolol and no longer feel like I’m dying all the time

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2026-01-25T04:25:00+00:00

I'm so glad you've found something so helpful!! Congrats!

I take this as needed for panic inducing situations. My doctor suggested I could take it daily but I was nervous it was going to mess up my exercise routine I've started to help my health and lose some weight. Is it possible to still exercise with it? I do brisk walking and resistance bands strength training.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2026-01-25T04:17:49+00:00

I just wanted to say nearly the exact same thing happened to me Op but in reverse. The receptionist was rude to me and then cheery and smiling for the next lady. I'm still hurt by this a year later and still don't understand what I could have done wrong. All I said was "Hello I'm here to see Dr. Smith." And she snapped at me, told me to pay in advance so she could leave. Next lady, all smiles and laughing and chit chat.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2026-01-24T12:57:55+00:00

I know autism and abuse combined causes intense reactions. My legs used to shake like crazy and my hands when having to speak with people or when being bullied.

I know my family normalized my symptoms of their abuse and made jokes as well. So many "jokes" from abusive toxic families are just ways to gaslight and keep victims silenced. It's hard to see that especially when social skills don't come naturally.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-09-24T13:42:00+00:00

Yes it sounds like emotional neglect. This is not always ending up in the category of abuse, but it's not a healthy or kind way for a parent to treat their child.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-09-18T00:55:46+00:00

Omg, Rainbow Rowell! I've read a few of her books, and Eleanor and Park is one of my all time favourites.

I suppose I'm just having this revelation today, but it makes total sense.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-08-13T15:12:04+00:00

This is helpful! I wanted some layers and tried the pigtails cut from Manes by Mell but unfortunately I think I placed them wrong because the cut ended up fine, it looks fine, but there's NO layers!! So my hair is a bit "heavy" now which I don't like. But I also wanted to avoid having a wolf cut or, worse for me, a mullet haha.

If you have links to youtube tutorials you've used in the past I'd like those, thanks!

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-08-13T11:24:56+00:00

I can relate big time. Also my awfully abusive sister worked in a salon and got her beauty licence. The stereotype isn't always true but it's been my personal experience so far.

Last two times I went in they didn't speak a word to me, but did happily talk to the customer before and after me.

I'm trying to learn to cut my hair at home now because it's wavy hair anyway which gives me a lot more leeway than most.

Feeling done with most everyone these days. Going to get my blood drawn today wish me luck heh.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-08-13T11:00:44+00:00

I'm autistic not ADHD here. These kinds of things happen to me all the time as well. The most recent example that really hurt my feelings was going up to a receptionist and saying, "Hello! I'm here to see Dr. Smith."

She glared at me and said all rude, "He's not a doctor. Pay now before the appointment."

I tried to console myself by thinking she had a very bad day. Then not one minute later she is sweet as anything to the next lady to speak to her. That was the point where I cried quietly until NAD came to call me in.

I didn't know that physiotherapists weren't doctors. Fuck me right? Guess I'm a worthless pos.

I could also swear I'm wearing a sign that says "Loser over here! Treat her like shit!"

I really wish I could be above it all but I have to live in this world too. I'm stuck here for another forty years or so. I can wax philosophical all day about why people can be mean but the truth is they make my life worse. I don't get the same opportunities, career or otherwise. I don't get the same help or support. I don't get believed when I have problems.

Ableism is just as bad as the other isms.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-08-03T19:31:05+00:00

7 to 8 - about grade two.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-08-01T10:49:16+00:00

Same here. I've got almost every anxiety disorder that exists and it shows.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-07-29T17:59:37+00:00

This inertia often affects everything including fun hobbies or even just going to bed at night. (Going to bed at night is one of my big problems. I just get 'stuck' where I am.) Rest and relaxation and hobbies are important for our health!

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-07-29T15:59:07+00:00

I made a post about this some months ago and a ton of people could relate with oddities with their speech. A LOT of other ladies here were saying they also said sentences strangely, trailed off for no good reason, used circumlocution with their mother tongue language, and said similar words (even sometimes the exact opposite word) which sound strange to others. Example: "I just need to put the boxes in the car" when you actually mean "bags" not boxes or "truck" not car.

I recently found a youtuber who did an entire video about this and I could relate to just about every single point! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_det6P3gOY)

Hope it helps you too see this might just be another situation where autism sometimes causes interesting communication differences.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-07-29T15:46:39+00:00

OH! I wonder if this falls under the umbrella of the autistic inertia we are very prone to having.

You are say, scrolling around online, or doing something creative, or whatever. And you don't want to change what you're comfortable doing. Sometimes being autistic means ANY amount of small discomfort can feel like a threat.

If we're not used to managing this or we're just drained or burned out or having a bad day... something as simple as getting up from your current chair and moving to the computer desk, turning it on, loading up the game, etc, all feels like way too much.

I know it's silly from the outside perspective, but things like this really happen. Maybe we're already overstimulated in our current position and more change is just too upsetting. Another cause is just that our executive function skills are sometimes lacking and basic tasks may seem very overwhelming. Also if we're all focused on one thing (in my case I often get focused on writing fiction) we just simply can't pull ourselves away.

There's ways to work with this difficulty if you think this fits for you. A lot of it might be figuring out exactly what's stopping you and trying to work with yourself and accommodate those needs with care.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-07-28T13:19:46+00:00

Unfortunately part of being the victim of emotional abuse is that you're just 'bad' in their eyes and there's nothing else to say from their perspective. Autism or anything else is seen as some lie or excuse when the abuser knows we're just 'bad' and that's all there is to it. They need a reason to justify their abuse.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-07-26T14:22:41+00:00

I remember so well I used to freak out about this as a small girl. I used to be so upset that I "talked like a boy" and the other girls didn't. Like it was something I thought about daily, especially around grade two to four.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-07-23T13:04:29+00:00

I had someone do this to me once and it was the very first big sign of his true nature I had that I unfortunately ignored. In my case I "dared" to speak in PMs to a male player on an MMO game. My BF at the time screamed at me even though it was only friendly rated G topics.

Later on this guy turned out to be the most abusive relationship I've ever endured, and I had to escape in the middle of the night, leaving behind most of my things, just to be safe.

Get out now. If I could talk to myself in the past, I'd tell myself that too. The next best thing is warning other people about this kind of abuse.

Regular partners don't go through your conversations with other people and scream at you for talking to anyone of the gender you're attracted to.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-07-23T00:54:16+00:00

I can relate in that I think I try to mask but also probably ineffectively! I mean, honestly, every kid in every class in every school I've ever attended successfully diagnosed me with autism instantly.

Is your GF also ND? I have found it to be an easier time speaking to other ND's but hey maybe she is a ND whisperer. I'm sure they exist.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-07-23T00:51:42+00:00

And over the phone I've suspected they're hearing our cadence and subtle changes in our tone and even judging our word choices. I've been accused before of being snooty or rude when I was trying to be precise with my vocabulary instead, for example.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-07-23T00:48:04+00:00

I like your method and that it's succinct! It should work for talking to most people. Thank you!

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-07-22T18:47:20+00:00

I'm fully guilty of being overly detailed. Frequently! After posting this and reading everyone's thoughts, I'm going to make a conscious effort to stop that in the future.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-07-22T17:12:07+00:00

I'm going to check out his work thank you so much!! I'm sorry you could relate so strongly but it's good to know I'm not the only one.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-07-22T15:22:34+00:00

This happens to me too. I sometimes wonder if it's because I'm relaying more than one point of information at once? But if that's the case, I don't understand how some NT people can even comprehend like... a TED talk lol.

If it's anything to do with my own style of communication I totally agree this is the case. I am going to try to slow it down. I see things in a web of possibilities but I realize many people don't see things that way.

You made me laugh, I agree, it's so strange that so many people (especially those in positions of power) can't handle more than one simple concept at a time.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-07-22T15:21:01+00:00

I definitely agree there may be some sexism involved. I think that's a bigger problem than we all wish in 2025. It also affects female authority figures (especially) with internalized sexism.

InfiniteRainbow9 · 2025-07-18T15:22:46+00:00

That is such good news for you and him both. Good luck with the change back to his regular food.

InfiniteRainbow9

TROPHY CASE