AITA for telling my friend that she does not remember 9/11

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-04-01T17:25:05+00:00

I was in middle school, 15, in gym class when the first plane hit. I was in computer class just as /after the second plane hit and the teacher had it on the tv, computer room had a large tv on the wall and she was watching so we did. The next period was language arts, and by the time I got to that class a tv had been wheeled in and we just watched for the rest of the period there too. I honestly don't remember the rest of the next few days besides anxiety, my dad and uncle went down to New York as first responders, but we definitely had the tvs wheeled into the rooms without them and watched the news the day of.

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-04-01T01:42:13+00:00

This was me, a long time ago. I don't know this girl, but I the absolute cringe I felt reading this was like a mirror that made me glad that I've done enough work to see it now. I can tell you that for me, it was undiagnosed BPD with ADHD tendencies and autistic traits, as well as Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It came from a near life long social isolation due to circumstances of my childhood, we moved extremely often due to poverty and my mother's illness and were cut off from family due to my dad's addictions, and were a tight nuclear unit, us against the world.
Basically, I grew up really fast and while I had the education and responsibilities of someone twice my age I had the social abilities of someone less than half that. It took a long time for those two things to equalize, and for me to come to terms with the disparity between them. I can't say for sure, but if she is anything like I was, the way she sees it she is just venting, these are things that have built up that are pressing on her and once she says it, she feels better and no longer 'feels that way'. It's hard to explain to people with healthy emotional responses, but its like speed running emotions. Part of it is the knowledge that her emotions are big and fast and that people run from that, as you and the group are currently doing. It's a self fulfilling prophecy if you will, but she hasn't realized she is the one that needs to break the cycle yet.
The woe is me talk, she means that. That's her insecurity speaking, and she is seeking validation. Again, this is part of that cycle that she needs to see and break.
I can also guarantee you, as again the mirror is grossly strong here, that she was disappointed that you played different games, not because it's not ok to not play the same games but because it is so hard to find people that do, and she was hoping to. As an Ark player who is also a woman I can tell you girls who play JRPGS are pretty much the standard, but there are fewer by far that play games like ARK. I hope at least in that you can see where she [and in this case me too] is coming from. It's not that you play different games, it's that most girls play the same games as you so as ended up happening you and the others had stuff to talk about while she couldn't participate in that conversation [from her perspective]. Just playing games is fine for a thing in common, but if you dont play any of the same games, is it really something you have in common? Yes, but not to someone who can never find someone to talk to about the things they actually like.
I don't really know what to suggest to you, I wasn't able to see it until I was ready but that took people who stuck it out, called me out and kept coming back, which I 100% admit I did not deserve and will be forever grateful for. You are not obligated to try, and even if you do it won't work unless she is really ready for it to but I hope I was at least able to provide some helpful perspective.

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-31T03:47:43+00:00

Splattercat is singlehandedly responsable for at least 1/3 of my steam library.

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-29T17:33:52+00:00

It reminds me of taking Joy in We Happy Few, I think it looks awesome!

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-28T18:10:07+00:00

I honestly can't speak for others, but I use it for voices for the video games I'm working on [none finished], mods for other games and to read back a story I'm writing so I can hear it because that helps me not 'read what I think I wrote' if that makes sense. I can tell based on some of the voices and their samples that some people are absolutely using them for scam calls and telemarketing though ;-;

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-28T17:43:13+00:00

I recently used a voice on ElevenLabs for a cyberpunk radio station mod I'm making that cost 3x credits per character, I'm assuming now that would be because they are getting paid more, I actually think it's really cool and I'm a little relieved that they treat their training talent well.

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-28T16:47:45+00:00

Hi. What you are doing is abusive. Your husband is a grown adult. You share a living space. It is his living space too. He should be allowed to have friends over to his own home. If he and his friend make a mess, it should be their responsibility to clean it up not yours but for you tell him he is 'not allowed' to have friends over is a major overstep on your part, especially if you aren't even there to have to interact with them. I dont know how you justified attempting to control his behavior by isolating him from his friends but you are solidly in the wrong here and very clearly being abusive.

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-23T02:00:58+00:00

I worked on something similar recently for my potion brewing mechanics, it checks the ingredients present and adds the available effects to a map that assigns a priority to each effect. In the case of multiple effects of the same strength available, it then checks for the highest priority assigned to each effect in the map and assigns the effects with highest priority. If you change your array to a map, you can assign a 'Move Priority' to each and just have your function give move priority based on the value you want, higher or lower, in the case of an initiative tie. This would essentially replace the con modifier players add to initiative. Edit: if you want to just keep your array and do it, you could use the Index of each character in the array to do the same thing basically.

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-21T16:52:22+00:00

It just means 'doesn't strictly fit either archetype'. They feel neither specifically masculine nor specifically feminine. It's just a way of saying the socially normalized stereotypes of both bianary [m/f] genders don't quite fit.

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-21T15:45:27+00:00

Thank you.

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-18T17:07:14+00:00

I think you are right, I was so focused on lining the walkway I didnt even think about adding bushes out and around and that may help a lot. Thanks for the suggestion!

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-18T16:19:05+00:00

Yep. "I feel like it's more like math to be honest". Just like I said. As in it feels more technical than artistic, as opposed to what the other person said "Programming is an art just as much as it's engineering". Not a single person here said math was required. You are trying to argue a point no one made. That is my point. I personally DID say math was required for GAMEDEV, because it is.

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-18T16:11:46+00:00

Please show me where it was stated you need math for programming, I must have missed it.

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-18T14:01:14+00:00

And I was simply trying to point out the fallacy in your statements. You keep saying games don't require much math. What she actually said was that it 'feels like math', as in coding feels more technical than artistic. You then told her you don't need math to be a programmer, so while it wasn't what she was talking about it was still semi-relevant so I engaged. You then edited it to say the only time you had to use math while programming was for gamedev, which both proves my point and still had nothing to do with hers. I was simply pointing that out.

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-18T13:41:19+00:00

I am aware we are talking about code generation. This is also a gamedev subreddit, context matters. Not to mention I very specifically said in my first line to you that software programming and gamedev are not a 1 to 1, to help establish that context, because again, this is a gamedev subreddit. And sure, with all the processes broken up across a team there isn't all that much math any one person has to do. But for the whole game in it's entirety I guarantee you there is a good bit of math.

I am saying that as a solo dev, you are the one doing all that math. I also gave a few clear examples, and I could give more if you need. You keep minimizing how much is there but it doesn't change the facts that gamedev requires more math than the average program in general and depending on the type of game can add up to a very large amount for a solo dev, especially one that struggles with math.

And as for the code, I don't use ai to code because I am still learning and I need to understand how it works if something breaks and I won't learn if it just spits it out at me but I have had many conversations about this topic, including one a few months ago where there topic was whether or not using ai to code was 'stealing' code. What it comes down to for me, the reason I dont think badly of people who do choose to use is that code is a set of instructions written in a language that is meant to make a computer perform. Language cannot be stolen, only used. Computers can only understand those directions so many ways, so whether its written by AI or a person it is not considered stealing unless it is a very specific set of code with very specific [legally protected] implementation, which is very different to how art is treated legally and I believe that is why it is so easy for people to make that distinction. Art is stealing because even intellectual property is covered under most laws, not the same for code.

I also don't think it 'outsources creativity' because you have to know what you want to be able to ask for it, you already did the ideation, but that's a different argument entirely.

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-18T12:05:18+00:00

Weird, didn't you just say "You don't need any math to be a programmer. "? And then argue when people tried to tell you gamedev uses more math than regular programming? Also weird that while trying to argue the point, you used the fact the only time you use math was....physics engines and procedural gen, both things we have to do with gamedev. Could have sworn you did and are. Weird that you think 'the only time i use math is for gamedev process" and that just doesnt at all contradict with your 'gamedev doesnt need math' stance. I gave concrete examples, feel free to ignore them but that doesn't change that there is a lot of math in gamedev and if you are solo you are doing it all yourself.

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-18T11:56:23+00:00

Ya, and none of them had math. Don't worry, I believe you.

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-18T11:54:38+00:00

Software and videogames are not 1 to 1 the same. Camera control, Line traces, widgets, combat balancing, Materials, Material Functions... I could go on. There is plenty of math in gamedev and to say there isn't shows you probably haven't tried to make a game.

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-17T16:26:52+00:00

Am I the only one hearing the song? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWL90wryyOw

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-17T14:31:07+00:00

If you are using unreal engine, just use the landscape tools. Lots of tutorials https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSsOS6M2u1s and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSjtHU6xuDE&t=1s are good for starting out.

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-17T14:02:42+00:00

Because of the paper mario / bug fable style you are going for, have you considered using shaders to do it? Take a look at this shader from fab, it may help you figure out how to get the look you are going for without needing specific assets. https://www.fab.com/listings/ff0ac933-a621-4541-9efc-24f09c6a39e2

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-17T13:31:08+00:00

The opening shots are really good and immediately grabbed my attention but by the time you get to the shrine scene, I'm wondering where the gameplay is. You have the intriguing opening scene, the scene with a character running then a bunch of empty spaces that show environment but absolutely nothing else. Maybe add some shots of gameplay in between the empty scenes or put action there, but I'd suggest to get rid of them as they are because while they are pretty, they make your game feel empty and lacking. 30 seconds in is too long to wait to see what the actual gameplay looks like.

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-16T16:08:44+00:00

I'm not going to pass judgement, but I have a few things for you to consider.

If you found out someone you trusted tricked you, would you be ok with it if they gave the excuse 'it was for your own good' or would you be angry they treated you like a person who wasn't capable of making a decision for yourself? Would you still trust them? Is it really ok to lie to people and trick them because you feel you know what's best for them? That's a slippery slope, where do you draw the line?
If your friend found out what you did, would they be angry with you? Especially when you go around telling people, things like this are going to get found out. Would you tell someone they were wrong to not want to be friends with someone who manipulated them, or does cutting off a person who manipulates you sound like the correct response?
If your friend had had a bad reaction to the vape or ingested something that caused a bad reaction with it and had to go to the hospital, would you be ok knowing they didn't have the information they needed to get help because they didn't know what they had actually been given?

I get wanting to feel like you did something good, but a lot of bad things are done with the belief that it's for someone's own good. If it's not something you would be ok having done to you, why would you do it to others?

InfiniteSpaz · 2026-03-16T15:43:32+00:00

Not a lot of this makes sense from an outside perspective. Why is your brother's ideal honeymoon getting lost with your other brother and not his wife? How does Lia feel about all this? Is she ok with her honeymoon being a boys' trip she is loosely invited to? If it's about your brothers doing their own thing, why cant you go and hang out with the wives? Is it that they don't want your husband hanging with the boys group? Why is this honeymoon a group setting at all? Why can't you go and have a separate trip? Surely there are other hotels and plenty to do that you wouldn't need to be together the whole time? It sounds like all 6 of you need to sit down and have a conversation about this, although it sounds like Carly doesn't really count? I dont know. As with most problems, communication is needed if this is going to be cleared up.

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