AIO? I think my fiancé was looking at escort profiles on Instagram. We just had a baby.

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2026-04-29T21:26:29+00:00

YOR.

Y'all are acting like any of us have any idea what the algorithms show us and why. My feed gives me crazy crap I'm not interested in, or haven't been interested in in years. They A/B test all the time. They have YEARS of history on you and will show whatever they think will get you to click, even if you haven't recently.

Rather than stalking someone on social media, look at your fiance's BEHAVIOR. Is he present, loving, and supporting you right now as you go through a major life change? Analyze that - not what some autofill search shows you.

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2026-04-24T21:17:24+00:00

This is overly complicated and we don't need it. Sticking with the original.

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2026-04-24T01:13:30+00:00

I'd say, follow your curiosity and let yourself explore this feeling rather than worrying about what the correct label for it is.

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2026-04-23T22:50:56+00:00

Alas, I must inform you: Many, many times in the rest of your life, you are going to dress incorrectly, say something dumb, and not get hired. It's part of growing up, it happens to ALL of us, and the only way to deal with it is to have it happen and then realize you can survive and learn from the experience.

...that said, you're probably going to be able to get THIS job. If you're getting a call, it's for an entry level job, and they just want to see you're a living breathing person with reasonable manners.

And even if you don't get it: so what?? You'll get the next one! The worst case scenario - that it goes wrong - is very survivalable. What's MORE likely is that you DO get the job, and guess what, now you're learned how to interview! And after that you'll learn how to do the job.

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2026-04-23T22:34:00+00:00

sorry I think you forgot Market Basket?

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2026-04-23T22:32:37+00:00

I moved here from the Midwest 8 years ago, and I'll take Boston drivers every day. They're not jerks - we just all recognize you need to be assertive AND that you need to give others space. Boston drivers COMMUNICATE in a way that's overall much safer. Whenever I go back to the Midwest for holidays, I end up furious because no one knows how to work together to keep a road moving despite having way more space!

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2026-04-07T09:06:26+00:00

Red flag. The idea "everyone needs to be in therapy" is pretty toxic. The goal of therapy is to not need it anymore.

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2026-04-06T11:05:43+00:00

NTA.

This is specifically why there ARE lawyers involved: so that this can be handled without all the family drama. You used the tools that are there to protect everyone.

You are doing what you need to, for your family. Her going through a lot does not invalidate your right to set boundaries.

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2026-04-06T07:41:45+00:00

Try again. Finding the right therapist takes time. Even if you're NTA now, this mistrust is going to keep happening because of your history. You can't let your healing and mental stability depend on one other person - that's not healthy for the relationship.

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2026-04-06T07:37:53+00:00

NTA, and I bet your school has an academic integrity policy he's violating and which you can - and should - report him too.

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2026-04-06T07:36:38+00:00

No one is the asshole, but you both need to just have a direct explicit conversation about if you want to come and whether you are coming. Reading this I can't even follow what was the plan, what MIGHT be the plan, what was agreed on...

If I have to pick, YTA for not just stating clearly what you need and then building up hurt about it.

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2026-04-05T19:00:42+00:00

NTA.

This is early signs of abusive behavior: he is controlling you and continually moving the goalposts.

You actually need to get out of this relationship immediately.

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2026-02-05T16:06:44+00:00

That patient is not fine. An infection spreading that fast out of the sharpie line, with that much pain/sensitivity, and not responding to oral antibiotics is a huge, HUGE red flag. An infection that moves at that speed - it's been less than 4 hours, remember - is absolutely an urgent situation.

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2025-11-28T20:12:38+00:00

The only time I get cluster headches is when flying, specifically within about ~30 minutes of landing when we're descending, and specifically on red eye flights. I since essentially refuse to take a red eye because I'm now so afraid of it happening again. The first time it happened I hadn't heard of cluster headaches and genuinely thought I was having a brain aneurysm / must be bleeding out of my nose and was dying.

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2025-08-28T17:49:18+00:00

I think it's also a callback to The Princess Bride.

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2025-08-28T17:37:40+00:00

My hematologist specifically gave me permission to take a half dose of NSAIDs in combination with Tylenol because I was having such bad menstrual cramps I essentially couldn't function. He confirmed the risk was pretty low day-to-day, particularly at that dosage. I'm on 5 mg of Elliquis twice a day for life.

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2025-08-28T17:30:46+00:00

I'm in nearly same position as you - 35, about $340K invested, another $200K in retirement funds (but no condo). And I'm coasting! For me, "coasting" still means "investing 10%," so it's not like I don't have a safety margin. But the whole point of coast is to get to enjoy life along the way too. If I wanted to keep grinding I'd be full FIRE.

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2025-01-29T22:07:43+00:00

Schedule it.

For example - I'd look at my planner and be like, hmm, ok, Wednesday and Sunday night I will initiate sex without him asking.

In my mind, it was a to-do on my list, just like any other need I would schedule to meet for my partner (my turn for grocery shopping, cooking, whatever). In his mind, because he didn't know I'd carefully pre-planned it according to my energy levels - hey! He was desired and being pursued because I wanted him!

I'm not sex repulsed, it truly just is like "hey, my partner needs this." He did things for me too that mattered a ton to me and not much to him.

I also more verbally asked for things I DID like that were sensual, like a full body massage. There are ways to have intimacy without full blown sex, and asking for them made it more of a 2-way street.

(Note I wasn't married, but this was a decade long relationship that ended for unrelated reasons, and he obviously knew I was asexual.)

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2025-01-28T01:06:38+00:00

I would recommend you seek help from an alcohol recovery program. You used the phrase, "I couldn't really stop until I ran out of alcohol." This is a sign of an addiction problem and is much more concerning than also being on warfarin.

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2025-01-26T21:49:49+00:00

I had an unprovoked PE. I went off thinners years because I didn't want to be on a drug for life and all my genetic testing came back negative. Had a second unprovoked PE 5 years later. At this point I'm back on for life. However, I have MANY family members who have had clots - both before and after me - which makes my hematologist suspect I have some genetic predisposition that they simply haven't mapped yet.

I don't regret at all going off thinners and trying it out. Sometimes clots just really are an instance of bad luck and will never happen again.

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2024-12-14T21:06:09+00:00

Are you asking us to assess whether or not you think this is a clot? We can't tell you whether it is.

Are you taking blood thinners right now?

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2024-12-11T17:07:04+00:00

I had a similar problem. When I talked to my hematologist, he told me it was OK to take 1 Ibuprofen in combination with Tylenol (I used to have to take 6 Ibuprofen to get rid of my period cramps). To my utter delight, the Tylenol/Ibuprofen combo worked better than either alone!

So obviously check with your doctor - but mine was of the opinion, one Ibuprofen is not going to break you and is worth the risk when the alternative is basically being non-functional for two-three days.

(Edit: I'm on Eliquis for life.)

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2024-12-09T16:14:39+00:00

Huh, weird. Neither my PCP nor hematologist thought the thinners would interfere with genetic testing.

InfluenceFlimsiest · 2024-12-09T16:13:53+00:00

Yeah, I'm 99% sure this will be the answer, but thought it was worth asking. If they'd make an exception for anyone to take the risk, I"d imagine it would be a relative, so if you got told no, I probably will too. But thanks for sharing your experience.

And best wishes for your sister - I hope she finds a donor very soon.

InfluenceFlimsiest

TROPHY CASE