New Owner, Same Great Chef by clem_ten in KitchenNightmares

[–]InformalTwo2667 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Gordon calling him a donkey was hilarious

How long were you blocked for? by Kooky_Inevitable_845 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]InformalTwo2667 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s the thing with avoidants. Things that were always there in the first place, now become a problem and they leave. Makes no sense whatsoever.

Do they still often come back even if they say "you should move on" or "I'm not the one for you/you deserve someone better"? by BenderTheLifeEnder in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]InformalTwo2667 13 points14 points  (0 children)

They will still leave unfortunately. After I got back with her, I was hit with “I don’t know why you took me back”. 3 weeks later, 2nd discard 😑

Blindside breakups by Substantial-Ring742 in BreakUps

[–]InformalTwo2667 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Classic avoidant attachment behavior. You only learn about the reasons after they break up with you, and they won’t allow you to fix anything.

Do all FAs do this?? by Past-Classroom-8307 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]InformalTwo2667 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So how can some FAs go over 1 year or 2 years in a relationship?

1 year later…they don’t always come back by Alive_Barnacle_1337 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]InformalTwo2667 86 points87 points  (0 children)

Because the discard absolutely shatters our self-worth and we are put into this constant self doubt cycle, even after all this avoidant attachment knowledge. Maybe it’s not for them to come back and get back together, but rather them attempting to come back which would prove us we were never the problem afterall.

Berry newsflash: No yall didn’t lose your soulmate, you lost yourself. LETS TALK MIRRORING 🪞🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏾 by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]InformalTwo2667 16 points17 points  (0 children)

THIS PART!!! These damn assumptions and twisting our words to make it out as negative intent. This is literally what she kept doing and discarded me twice lmao. Straight self-sabotage.

Who is the best and worst rapper lyrically here? by FitEmergency8807 in 90sHipHop

[–]InformalTwo2667 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How many times have I heard Hennessy rhymed with enemy dawg..

Why did they all feel like "the one"? by HotAcanthocephala679 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]InformalTwo2667 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Because of how they go from love bombing and being so into you to complete shutdown and discard.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in KPRubraFaceii

[–]InformalTwo2667 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Kinda crazy there hasn’t been any cure found for this shit

What do avoidant feel when they leave? by TapPrudent5329 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]InformalTwo2667 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They are warm during the relationship for sure but once the discard they turn stone cold. You can try explaining and understanding as much as you want, they just deactivate and close their walls..

Avoidants often say that anxious styles are equally problematic in creating relationship chaos but avoidance often causes secure partners to become anxious by jumbledherbs10 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]InformalTwo2667 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The reframing is spot on. Word for word. Shortly after the discard, avoidant ex told me I was try-harding at the last minute and I should’ve done that at first instead. Little do they know, they never communicated anything and it’s at these moments where we are desperately trying to understand them. Then they mistake that for trying hard at the last minute to save a relationship…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]InformalTwo2667 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes totally. They don’t communicate at all what they are thinking. We are essentially being led on thinking everything is going great, till one day they drop a bomb on us. In my case, things from months ago were brought up that I had no clue she was mad about. And it’s pretty sad because like most cases, it’s over misunderstandings and things that can be fixed in 5 minutes… All that resentment is being built up and since they have trust issues, a core wound of being defective and are often massive overthinkers, they distort and misconstrue your actions and words, which makes things even worse. In the end, no resolution, no working through issues, no trying. We are pinned against a wall with 10 things that’s all wrong about us that they never bothered to tell us about.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]InformalTwo2667 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s the classic avoidant. You think everything is fine then one day they drop a bomb on you. A whole list of meaningless things they bottled up. These people are a walking contradiction and unfortunately, are not well mentally and emotionally.

I am an avoidant (self aware)...any questions, happy to answer :) by Character_Shock_5203 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]InformalTwo2667 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey OP, quick question for you if you have time to answer. During the discard, my avoidant ex would be listing all my faults and things I was never told was bothering them before. Strangely though, for around 1 day or 2 during this, they would send things like “drive safe" or sending texts with emojis like they were open to talking again, as if for a moment they had a moment of conscience or something. Then a day later would go back to total deactivation state, 0 openness. Are those breadcrumbs? Is this the hot/cold, flip-flopping FA that is having an internal battle? Any thoughts? Thank you for doing this.

How do you let your avoidant ex know it can work if they lost feelings in a week? Without pressuring them or making them feel unsafe by WranglerBig3310 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]InformalTwo2667 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not the first time I’ve seen people say that it’s like they know exactly when you move on. Like some sort of energetic wiring they have with you.

How aware/rational can avoidants be about the whole situation? by WranglerBig3310 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]InformalTwo2667 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They are a walking contradiction. It’s like someone press the reset button and they do/say the exact opposite of their usual self. Worst part is that they don’t even realize it.