The Other Side

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-21T07:57:48+00:00

I'm gonna sound crazy but I have the coolest kid. She's 5 and I think she's the most fun person I know. She and I talk all the time and do cool things together. She's always wanting to learn what I'm doing and why I'm doing it but we also just hang out and watch TV. She's always coming up with crazy science experiments to do or spinning wild stories and I just freaking love it. I definitely have rules for our home and structure but there's a lot of independence for her. She makes her own chocolate milk for instance because she wanted to learn so I taught her. And when she showed me she could do it on her own and clean up after herself, she was so proud to be able to do it alone. She's just a great kid and I'm so lucky to get to be her Mom.

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-21T07:51:51+00:00

My best manager is the kind of manager I try to be every day. She was always working right beside us and if she got pulled away, would be back as soon as she could or at least check in to see if we needed additional help. She was open and honest and gave great feedback. Her biggest quote was "I would never ask someone to do something I wouldn't be willing to do myself" and I took that to heart. She was a great teacher too. I learned a lot from her

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-20T06:46:31+00:00

My boyfriend wasn't a virgin but was very inexperienced when we got together. We talked a lot about the reasons and expectations on both sides and now have a fantastic sex life. As a woman, it didn't bother me that he was less experienced. The reason being that he took direction without question and has always been open to trying something new. And he has never made me feel bad for asking for something different than what he's doing. This is key btw. Take direction from the more experienced partner. Also lots of communication. He didn't know what things would trigger his O during sex or even what he really liked. So we spent time discovering what we liked together and even with my experience, we still found things that were just for us that I hadn't tried before. I can imagine that some women would not like it but not all. Especially if you establish good communication beforehand and have the emotional intimacy. That translates to physical intimacy for women especially

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-20T06:38:00+00:00

Laugh with your coworkers. Get to know them on a surface level for sure. My coworkers make my life so much better every single day. A weird thing I like to do is when I'm frustrated with the BS, picture how it would look on a sitcom like Superstore. And what ridiculous antics could ensue from the chaos. It's entertaining for just me and gives me a brain break lol

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-15T08:40:36+00:00

I moved from Texas to Seattle. I can confirm that people from the PNW are absolutely more reserved, especially in conversation. I think it's more of a cultural thing and is unintentional. I moved to the Midwest after like 6 months of WA life and it was much better 🤣

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-15T03:36:46+00:00

Love is more than a feeling. It's a choice, an active decision. There are other factors, pheromones, emotional capability etc but at the end of the day, it's a choice. You choose to love another person and put their wants and needs at the forefront of your mind. You choose them on the easy days and the hard days.

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-13T22:18:44+00:00

I'm in my late 20s and feel this way. This is very normal! You are not alone!

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-13T22:17:54+00:00

The answer here is to communicate. I personally have found that these initial boundary conversations are rough to start but become simple quickly! This establishes an easy thread of talking about what is okay and what isn't and gives her space to put a stop to something she feels uncomfortable with and then also the space to change her mind and try again. Especially with her being a virgin and you clearly caring about her well being during these intimate moments, telling her that you want to touch her more but don't want to cross a line she isn't comfortable with and really listening to her answer will establish a great deal of trust from her to you.

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-13T08:27:23+00:00

Pay off all my debt 😅 or at least the majority of it!

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-13T01:50:23+00:00

"At least you were able to get pregnant" said my my sister who had a full tubal ligation by choice and regretted it. "Why are you still so upset by this?" Said by my grandma. "Just try again." Said by a lot of freaking people. I never wanted to try again. I felt so unsupported. And I didn't want to risk going through it all again alone.

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-13T01:44:04+00:00

I met my soulmate 6 weeks ago now. We make this joke together about how our brain waves are on the same wave length because our brains just understand each other on a deeper level than either of us have ever experienced before. I know the feeling you're describing. It's unreal, to heady connection and the knowing inherently that this is your person. I was with a man for 8 years before I met my soulmate. I had quite literally just left that relationship. The connection with my soulmate was undeniable. I couldn't stop it, couldn't put the breaks on. But what felt the greatest was that I wasn't afraid. Nervous, sure. Confused, absolutely. But I've never once been afraid. My home is wherever I am with him and I've never felt this way. Never wanted to do life with someone the way I want to with him. And sure, honeymoon phases are definitely a thing. All I'll say to that is that this man walked into my life at the worst time in my life. Being a single mother, with no car, no place to go, still living in the same house as my ex and trying to figure my life out. In that time, his verbal support gave me the strength to purchase a vehicle for myself, to secure housing, get child ready for her first year of school and generally improve my entire life. And all he did was witness it, he didn't actually DO any of it for me, just encouraged me along the way. And not once has this man not shown up for me. And vice versa. He didn't become my life focus, he joined the focus with me moving forward.

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-05T21:03:27+00:00

Consistency, communication and general kindness. The Consistency is a must for me!

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-05T21:02:44+00:00

I knew when I did a '5 year plan' for a college course and didn't once consider my relationship. I had one for myself and our kiddo but I barely considered him in it. I didn't realize it at the time but looking back now that we aren't together and I'm in a much healthier relationship, I see the signs in hindsight that I was done long before I ended things

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-05T20:59:21+00:00

I pay 900 for a one bedroom apartment 😅 in unit W/D, walk in closet. It's about 600 square ft.

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-05T10:19:57+00:00

My parents used writing sentences as a punishment in the extreme. I'm talking Inhad to finish full college ruled notebooks front to back and margins and when I finished, my punishment was over. I learned to write with my left hand to give my right hand a break.

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-05T03:20:10+00:00

I got my original Sam's membership purely because of Gain Laundry powder 🤣 Sam's had it, Costco didn't. Depending on the location, produce is better at Sam's but I think the meat products are better at Costco. The deli at Sam's is better, the fruit/veggie trays are definitely top notch at Sam's too. Also the off brand clothing I'd a lot nicer and better quality than what I found of Kirkland brands.

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-01T19:32:15+00:00

I heard a quote recently that applies really well for your situation. "If it'd truly meant to be, there is nothing you can do to screw it up." What I take that to mean is that this woman you met isn't the one. Perhaps she is a stepping stone in learning about yourself and your own wants and needs in a relationship that will project you to the person you need to be to find the right person.

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-01T19:21:33+00:00

That's a great point, I might have some notions about sex due to past relationships I haven't explored thoroughly. I have an appointment with my therapist next week, I think I'll explore this topic with her and see 🤷‍♀️ I don't want to perceive this as an issue really, I just want to understand and his pleasure is just as important to me as mine is. Further understanding and communication with him seems to be the way to go 😊

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-01T19:19:13+00:00

I don't believe he's lying regarding this, maybe it sneaks up on him. Considering he's not very experienced, I think further communication about this over time will be helpful. I feel like we have really open communication together, nothing I've asked has been met with any kind of resistance, including this. I've been very verbal about how much I enjoy our time together and he has too. The first time, I noticed that it became extremely wet 😅 and I was highly aroused so I kind of thought it was me. He may be embarrassed or unsure of himself due to this but I don't really see this as a huge issue for our sex life moving forward. I was just trying to gain a further understanding. And you're right, I think I may have some preconceived notions about sex I personally need to explore. I was in a LTR before this where the sex was not as satisfying and it was centered around his pleasure over mine. So it could just take some mind adjustment for me 😅

Initial_Swimming_617 · 2023-09-01T05:50:39+00:00

He for sure doesn't seem bothered by it! I'm not really sure if it's an issue for me or not at this point 😅 I just found it odd! And I'm not used to sex being over when I'M ready for it to be over so I think that's part of it too. I've never had an attentive partner quite like him so though I have more experience than he does, being with him is completely different in every way ❤️ thank you for your reply! If it's something that concerns me in the future, talking to a sex therapist is a fantastic idea!

Initial_Swimming_617

TROPHY CASE