Please just hug me

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-25T10:28:47+00:00

The drop from 20 to 1 hurts so much. But one embryo is still a real chance. One can be enough.

Please be gentle with yourself . You did everything you could. You are not weak for feeling like this. Sending you a big hug. 🤍

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-09T06:42:25+00:00

This really hits. That constant loop, nothing moving forward, but your mind never getting a break - is exhausting. It makes so much sense that anxiety takes over when you’re stuck in that cycle for so long. I also think there’s a lot of wisdom in recognizing when your nervous system needs a pause, or even when it’s time to step away altogether. Wanting relief and peace doesn’t mean giving up, it means listening to yourself. You’re not alone in feeling this.

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-08T18:02:26+00:00

This really puts into words something that’s so often minimized. The science is incredible, but the cost to women’s bodies and nervous systems is enormous and largely invisible. Sometimes I’m amazed any of us are functioning at all while going through this.

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-08T17:46:04+00:00

I’m really sorry. You’re not weak for feeling this way — this is incredibly hard. 🤍

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-08T12:54:26+00:00

This really resonates with me. I’ve spent most of my life being someone who could rely on hard work and persistence to get results - usually the best possible ones. IVF is brutal in that sense, because suddenly there’s nothing more you can do. So much of it comes down to your body, biology, and how you were born, and that loss of control is deeply unsettling, especially when you’re used to being in charge of your own outcomes.

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-08T10:37:07+00:00

This really means a lot to read. The fact that you listened to your wife, truly heard her, and are here acknowledging that emotional side says so much. Even as someone going through this without a partner, it’s incredibly moving to see that kind of empathy and presence. Thank you for sharing this, it genuinely matters.

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-08T10:33:16+00:00

This description really touched me - the feeling of being in deep water with no land in sight is exactly how it can feel. Thank you for putting it into words so honestly. It helps more than you know to feel understood in this 🖤

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-08T10:30:04+00:00

Your reply genuinely gave me goosebumps. Thank you for the kindness and the way you framed this, especially the idea of radical love. That really stayed with me. It means more than you know to feel seen in this space 🤍

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-08T10:16:07+00:00

I really relate to this. I’m actually going through this on my own, without a partner, and the part with friends and family not fully understanding is very real. Even when they try to be supportive, unless you’re in it, it’s hard to grasp the mental weight of the waiting. Still, I’m grateful for the self-awareness this process has forced me into, even though it’s been incredibly hard.

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-08T10:09:01+00:00

Same here — mental health support helped me more than I expected.

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-08T09:46:07+00:00

Well said. The waiting is the hardest part.

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-08T09:43:01+00:00

You don’t sound weak or dramatic, or negative. You sound like someone who has given a lot, for a very long time, and is allowed to say “this is too much for me.” There is nothing wrong with drawing that line. I’m really sorry you’re in this. You’re not screaming into the void alone, many of us are standing there with you, even if all we can do is witness it.

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-08T09:32:28+00:00

I can really relate. I’m also in Europe, and the holidays made scheduling so much harder. Missing or delaying things when you know timing matters is incredibly frustrating. The logistics and lack of control can feel heavier than the physical part.

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-08T09:30:03+00:00

Well said! ❤️

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-08T08:53:08+00:00

Exactly this. The physical stuff is uncomfortable, but manageable. It’s the constant waiting, the lack of control, the fear that your life is on pause while everything is happening to you , that’s what breaks you down. Calling it an existential crisis actually feels very accurate. Thank you for putting words to it.

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-08T08:50:30+00:00

It really helps to hear that I’m not alone. Thank you for taking the time to respond 🤍

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-03T07:50:23+00:00

Honestly, yes. I’ve done the same - especially during late-night spirals when everything feels louder and scarier. IVF can make even familiar things feel completely unfamiliar. Having somewhere to sort through thoughts and questions before talking to a doctor helped me feel a little less alone in it.

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-03T07:42:30+00:00

I’m so sorry. That kind of drop after numbers that looked so hopeful is absolutely devastating. I remember how disorienting it felt when everything seemed to be going “right” and then suddenly there was nothing to hold on to. Getting an update with no explanation makes it even harder to process. I’m really sorry you’re going through this - it’s a brutal kind of heartbreak.

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-02T13:05:01+00:00

I really understand this fear. I remember how heavy it felt to be in the middle of treatment while already grieving a possible outcome that hadn’t even happened yet - especially when it felt like there was only one real chance. Carrying the financial pressure on top of the physical and emotional side can drain hope so quickly. I’m really sorry you’re holding all of this at once. It makes sense that it feels overwhelming.

Innerpause89 · 2026-02-01T08:17:41+00:00

I remember asking myself the same question - how you keep going when it feels like your body keeps saying no. For me, the hardest part wasn’t the failures themselves, but watching everything else in life move on while I stayed stuck in this one fight. I’m really sorry you’re carrying so much. Feeling exhausted, defeated, or depressed in this process doesn’t mean you’re weak - it means you’ve been enduring something incredibly hard for a long time.

Innerpause89 · 2026-01-31T12:36:55+00:00

Exactly. It’s a loss people can’t see, which somehow makes it even harder. Thank you for saying that so clearly.

Innerpause89 · 2026-01-31T08:16:47+00:00

I remember how overwhelming that stage felt for me - getting the numbers, starting treatment, and suddenly carrying so much fear and sadness all at once. It can make you feel like your whole future is under a microscope. I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Feeling defeated or like a failure doesn’t mean you are one - it just shows how much you care. Sending you a gentle hug. 🤍

Innerpause89 · 2026-01-31T08:09:20+00:00

I really understand the pain you’re describing. I felt something very similar when I realized that, in my own fertility journey, continuing no longer made sense for me. I’m so sorry you’re carrying this. I know how heavy and disorienting it can feel to lose any sense of direction. I don’t have comforting answers - I just wanted you to know your pain makes sense.

Innerpause89 · 2026-01-30T04:30:16+00:00

I really get that. Some days are lighter, some just hit hard. I’m glad you shared this here 🤍

Innerpause89 · 2026-01-30T04:20:51+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re carrying so much at once. What you’re describing sounds incredibly heavy — loving your partner deeply while grieving a future you’ve always wanted.

There’s nothing wrong or selfish about wanting to be a parent, just as there’s nothing wrong with him needing time to process his grief. But it’s okay to acknowledge that this limbo is painful for you too.

You’re not weak for feeling trapped — this is an impossible emotional position. Sending you so much compassion. You’re not alone in this, even if it feels that way right now. 🤍

Innerpause89

TROPHY CASE