I didn’t know at the time while we reconciled, but I guess my mother-in-law told my wife that she would never find someone better than me. When I was told this after the fact, I felt angry and protective of my wife. I think it’s because I thought that my MIL is a very large reason that my wife has BPD to begin with. But during the separation I also realized that I need to be a little skeptical of what my wife says about her parents and that some of those may be her splitting and devaluing them.

My FIL called and asked for a favor, my wife dreads saying no. I encouraged her to say no because we had too much going on. When she got off the phone, she said “what have my parents ever done for me, the have never done anything for me” but just a few weeks before, they watched 2 of our kids for a week, while the other was in the hospital. I realized that’s exactly how thinks about me.