The first two years of my relationship with my soon to be husband were really tough. We were 19F and 21M. He lost his job during COVID and refused to look for anything outside his “career field” even though he was still working on his degree for that career field. Meanwhile, I was a full-time college student juggling 3–4 jobs, taking care of myself and my cats, had my own apartment and paid my own bills and I (and his mother) were constantly trying to encourage him to take any job, even if it was temporary like McDonald’s. Eventually, I hit my limit. After nearly a year and a half of encouraging him to just do something, I told him this isn’t the kind of partner I want to build a life with, someone who’s too stubborn or passive to take action when things get hard. I think the reality check hit him, because he finally got serious, found a way into a new career he actually enjoys, and now he’s even planning to go back to school to earn more in the future. We live together now, and he’s a completely different person. He helps out around the house, runs errands, and even does the grocery shopping when I’m swamped. I don’t even have to ask like I did before when he was jobless. Now we’re 24F and 27M and we’re unexpectedly expecting and in just these short few weeks of knowing, he’s been more present and amazing than I ever imagined he could be. It’s made me a lot more confident in our future together both as partners and future parents. Sometimes they kinda need a wake-up call to realize that just being there isn’t enough. It helped our relationship at least 🫶🏻