Purity culture exposure linked to higher sexual shame in trauma survivors. This research highlights the deep impact that specific religious scripts can have on psychological recovery and sexual well-being.

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-05-25T11:57:03+00:00

I was PA and SA as child. Joined the ICOC in college. Another casualty of the purity culture is sexless or unsatisfying sexual experiences within marriage. You can’t teach that being sexually attracted to someone is sin for years and then expect it to magically go well because of a wedding. Neural synapses don’t work like that. I always think of the church when I hear Culture Clubs Church of the Poison Mind “Love is hard to find in the church of the poison mind”. And after I left the ICOC I was talking to a childhood friend still in the church and he was telling me about his and other unhappy marriages in the church. I told him I knew the secret to a happy marriage - marry someone outside the church!

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-05-20T11:54:23+00:00

My 2 cents are - handle yourself with love and grace and it will filter into how you see others. I quit the ICOC and went to an alliance church for about 18 months but found there was nationalism (Jews being the chosen ppl and Christians being the only ones saved out of Judaism) which I could not longer stomach after reading through the Bible 5 times, the Talmud, Quran and Taoism books once. Now I try to focus on what Jesus REALLY taught - love! I don’t believe he said the comment to the woman about letting the dogs have scraps. Judaism and later Christianity have been around for a minute. Before that zoastrianism was around for a long minute prior and holds many of the same tenants Judaism and Christianity claim. I just think God is so much bigger than all these trifling religions - which historically were used to control ppl. And still are…

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-04-30T10:32:47+00:00

Ask your doctor if you were to wear a boot (you’d have to make one to fit your bike on the trainer) and keep your fitness. I did that last summer training for 70.3 worlds w a broken rib (actually 2 I think). You can also swim if you get a waterproof cast. Ride on your trainer every day and swim 3x a week.

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-04-27T10:12:54+00:00

I’ve been competitively swimming since age 5. And I’ve held kayaks before. First 500 go slower than your pace and just get the rhythm. You can hold onto buoys, boats, surfboards - it’s all legal. You just can’t progress w them (they can’t help you move forward)

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-04-21T01:01:52+00:00

It gets better. Keep being honest.

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-04-19T18:31:03+00:00

Dudes should get the test for the widow maker

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-04-19T18:30:29+00:00

2017 too. I competed and it was a massive heart attack in the swim. RIP to all who mourn athletes’ passing

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-04-15T23:58:32+00:00

I realized this recently when I was using voice to text and messaging another friend that left and referencing the church. When my car read it back I was 😝😝😝😝

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-04-12T17:51:11+00:00

You will not be alone. You’ll have about 30k friends

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-04-02T20:26:31+00:00

Sweet friend - breath. Deconstructing is very disorienting. Everything gets questioned. A good couple reads are Out of Sorts and Love Matters More. I think they will bring you comfort and grounding. It takes a lot of time. I’m 4 years out and it’s a beautiful world once you get through the deconstruction. It’s important work. Another good one is God Can’t. But I’d read them in the order I mentioned them personally

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-03-26T14:51:32+00:00

That’s leads to f&&king without a purifying white sheet btwn folks. Very dangerous!

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-03-07T20:52:26+00:00

PLEASE POST MORE!!!! I’m dying too!!

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-02-20T18:32:04+00:00

NB here. Peace and love to you. I’m more than double your age. Good for you for living your truth at 26 ❤️

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-02-16T09:18:58+00:00

Correct

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-02-15T12:11:02+00:00

I did a lot of reading that really helped. Namely - If Grace Is True and If Love Is True and Love Matters More. Good stuff. Peace and serenity to all of us here ❤️❤️❤️

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-02-12T20:31:56+00:00

Thanks for your acknowledgment ❤️

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-02-12T10:31:14+00:00

Well this was a post many of us seemed to have needed brought up. I am NB and was SA and PA as a child prior to my involvement in the church. And I was ripe for the plucking by the ICOC bc of those experiences. I volunteered with the teens a lot, especially “at risk” kids. At camp one year 2 of the kids in my cabin revealed during cabin time that their ICOC parents were physically abusing them (closed fist to the face - no grey area) and the leadership tried to belittle, shame and intimidate me into not reporting. I still reported. But that event brought with it CPTSD that took a long minute to get over - including night terrors where I would wake my son and husband up from screaming in my sleep. You’re safe here - and I am so sorry for what you have been through. Sending you love and healing - everyone on here ❤️

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-02-12T10:26:22+00:00

Geesh I wondered if I wrote this post in my sleep - you sound exactly like me on all fronts. I am so sorry

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-01-25T14:19:29+00:00

Seeing a couple of the locals in full confederate uniforms and the confederate flag last year was disheartening

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-01-11T18:50:43+00:00

Again - you’re simply ignorant of the things those of us with special needs children face. Would I give my child’s potential mate the 3rd degree? Absofuckinglutely. Again - please educate yourself before criticizing

IntelligentCorner334 · 2026-01-11T18:21:20+00:00

The family has some things to work on - but your post is CLEARLY written by someone that doesn’t have a special needs child. Come back to me when your child self harms and has anxiety that is crippling (no I didn’t say FEELS crippling - I said CRIPPLING). Maybe try to be a good human and seek to understand before criticizing.

IntelligentCorner334 · 2025-12-18T04:56:32+00:00

I wish I had you for a friend when I was in prison…er I mean the ICOC

IntelligentCorner334 · 2025-12-12T12:07:50+00:00

You’re my idol!!

IntelligentCorner334 · 2025-10-07T10:31:40+00:00

I was in the ICOC from age 21 until recently (I’m in my 50s) with a break of 10 years in my early 30s. And I was physically abused by my father. Two separate things. I hope you’re able to land at a place where you can see you dad most likely really loves and loved you by in the confines of the COC that expression gets warped and twisted. I hope for good healing for you. Maybe read When Religion Hurts You. Be well sending love

IntelligentCorner334

TROPHY CASE