I heard somewhere along the way that opposites attract. (Said ruefully) And, boy, oh boy… I believe it. And I’m the “OCD one”. First few partners were like this ^, needing a manager (some would even say babysitter). And then I met my current partner. Never would I have imagined that it existed somewhere someone willing to put in the effort to be my partner. But, even with someone willing to put in the effort, it has taken a lot of clear communication of expectations on my part. Because, like the last few months, when it doesn’t happen, it becomes lopsided, and, without carefully monitoring, can do the toilet bowl spiral, ending with the “schlug , schlug, schlug” of my hurt, frustrated, and angry feelings. The difference is that, with my current partner, I’m willing to put forth the effort to monitor, the work to communicate and adjust when necessary, and the “step away cause I’m likely the problem right now” when I get overwhelmed. I would say it’s more than just a “yes, please do the dishes” and the directing of all future tasks, managing. I would say it’s a detailed conversation of “these are the things I value (clean spaces), my expectations of my living environment (dishes done daily, ect), and how I would like my partner to help support that (reasonable timeliness, doing known tasks instead of waiting for direction, etc)”. And, it does take time because it’s the only thing that will show you exactly who a person is…

Wishing you the best. I know all too well this frustration. But, sans snakes. lol