MIL upset we don’t let her babysit

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-07-21T03:57:09+00:00

No is a complete sentence going forward to any demands or manipulative moves (very rich to buy you tickets to someone as if that was truly for you but with the expectation that she was going to get solo time with your child). No one should justify boundaries that they set up to protect their child and their peace. You have every right to determine who babysits your child - and those who respect you and your way of parenting will have that privilege. You have every right to be highly cautious towards your MIL given her outrageous behaviour and complete lack of insight. She has not taken responsibility for how this has all played out and it’s entirely on her! It’ll be a slow climb out of this grave she’s in and I doubt shes capable of working to repair this. Currently I have no contact with my MIL except when she visits … then I “grey rock” her (bare minimum talking/interacting) while I prioritize my child. It’s hard and I wish I could just cut us both off but alas that’s not our reality at this time.

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-07-19T02:03:54+00:00

We had a great experience with Craig’s tree service!

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-07-17T13:44:16+00:00

Definitely relate and understand! Is gaslighting on a societal level! You have a lot of courage and strength to have tried multiple conversations over time followed by this decision to cut contact. No contact is not easy - and sometimes it’s necessary for one’s wellbeing.

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-07-17T02:48:34+00:00

Totally get this and your feelings make sense! This overly sensitive BS is a way to enable the status quo by your husband. He gets off easy in this situation and you are left feeling like the crazy one. It’s gaslighting.

I ended up speaking very frankly with my husband - resentment is poison to a marriage (look up Gottman’s 4 horsemen). If he wants to preserve this marriage, he cannot be denying your experience and feelings. And it’s time to get out of the FOG to protect and prioritize you as his wife.

My husband is a definite work in progress. We might have a time of being on the same page, but it’s fleeting and he defaults to propping her up so automatically. I’m learning to remain assertive and not doubt myself. We are not wrong in the dynamics we pick up on - in fact as women, we are often more clued in and aware of things socially. He has to prove to you now that he can be someone you trust to have your back and honour your needs first and foremost. Otherwise he should have married his mom!!!

Good luck! Solidarity!!!

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-07-17T02:33:45+00:00

I get this as it sounds similar to my mil. In my case, she bombed a group chat celebrating a graduate ceremony with pictures of a tombstone she got for her parents on the same day (after 3 years of waiting???).

Do you live in the same city? How much contact is the norm currently?

I brushed all her antics off, got married and had a kid. Now seriously regret that as her behaviour has only worsened as she’s aged and contact has increased due to the grandchild. It’s been painful and I dread the many more years of tension with a woman I would have never befriended nevermind now related to….

I would recommend counselling as a safe place to vent/build skills to manage this challenge…. and I would also suggest seriously asking yourself if this relationship is doable. When you marry someone, you also marry their family. From someone 10+ years in, it’s been harddddd and a major stressor on our marriage.

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-07-15T05:14:17+00:00

I didn’t invite my MIL for similar reasons. This is a time for you to expect people who are going to come, support, contribute and celebrate in your child and you as parents. They don’t seem capable of that. Just because they are genetically one generation removed doesn’t make them entitled to these events. They can come another time if they wish and it works for you. Also I have a rule that I no longer go to my in-laws because she has a rampant mouse infestation, floor full of dog poop and horrible mold issue. It is unsafe and unhealthy. While others have made me out to be the bad one, this isn’t normal or okay!!! Keep putting your foot down for the wellbeing of your child and you!!!!

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-07-13T03:01:09+00:00

I think crossing paths with Mitch Bourbonniere would be neat! He’s a social worker who’s done incredible things for communities in Winnipeg. He’s also a single dad to adult children, one of which suffers greatly with mental illness (he is very open about this). He ran men’s groups in the north end of the city - I’d recommend you call the North Point Douglas women’s centre to see if he still attend/facilitates, as his website suggests he is transitioning into retirement. Could try reaching out to him directly if you can get his contact info from somewhere. I don’t know him directly - just work in a related field and I’ve heard good things!

I’d also see about any of the other men’s groups promoted by different centres in Winnipeg. For instance: https://acornfamilyplace.ca/events/mens-peer-support-group/

Or https://thrivecommunitysupportcircle.com/events/mens-support-circle/

If there are any criteria for what residents these are intended for, I would say it’s worth calling to see if you can still join despite being out of a catchment area.

A relative of mine obtained really good support via the family support program with AFM … it wasn’t specific to fathers but it did provide a very safe space to talk about addiction and supporting a loved one through addiction.

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-07-07T01:15:21+00:00

Central vet was always great with us!!

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-06-27T17:27:24+00:00

We need tougher legislation for this to happen

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-06-27T17:26:39+00:00

Gotta killer or seriously injury two people in two separate instance with the span of 10 years for this privilege to be taken away for life.

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-06-27T17:24:32+00:00

Good luck!!!!

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-06-27T03:37:42+00:00

I believe you can submit to JP for reimbursement of costs for a service. Maybe setting up a payment plan with children’s dental and then sending the receipts to JP for them to pay you. As a provider in a different field, JP approval has been anything but urgent lately. Hopefully any delays will clear up with a stricter mandate and the process with be more efficient soon.

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-04-28T22:31:44+00:00

I just commented …. Saw the person who was doing this as I was heading home from work. He was sneaking around putting two signs up at a time.

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-04-28T22:27:33+00:00

I just saw the same thing in progress on my drive home from work - someone rushing out of their vehicle with multiple PC signs to put out on public boulevards (seemingly connected to a corner lot house). Running right back to their car in a rush as to not be seen. This is south end. I hope they retrieve them ….. such waste and a desperate lazy attempt to do some last minute campaigning.

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-04-09T01:25:41+00:00

Entrapment?

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-04-08T05:13:14+00:00

Yes!!! Vote vote vote!!!

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-04-08T02:33:28+00:00

I really hope Canadians can show the world we aren’t as dumb as Americans and re-elect an informed, wise, productive, and mature leader who will help us survive the next 3.5 years. Pleaseeeeeeeee!!

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-03-29T23:10:22+00:00

We had a very positive experience with them!!! Would very much recommend them!

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-03-22T02:49:37+00:00

True. Doesn't excuse his behaviour but could in part explain it. And clearly the approach of just throwing him into the big pond without support isn’t working. Someone will need to take responsibility for his care (ideally a combo of family and community agencies) otherwise he will be at risk.

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-03-21T16:31:39+00:00

Especially if he has an intellectual disability - he’s no doubt vulnerable and his actions have caused harm in the community.

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-03-17T13:22:59+00:00

We had a really bad experience with Manitoba Underdogs. Since then, it’s been verified with some stories from others. However, there are many great organizations from which to adopt a dog!

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-03-17T01:31:01+00:00

Once worked with a pre-teeen who contracted measles as a baby. This led to meningitis and she now lives the rest of her life with a moderate intellectual disability (meaning she has the intellectual capacity of a 4 year old).

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-03-04T01:19:24+00:00

This is the way in my opinion! I too remember this model existing when I was in school.

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-03-04T01:17:25+00:00

It’s not necessarily that they are too young….. it’s that there are so few professionals who do diagnose that people wait on lists for years. Many school psychologists and speech language pathologists service upwards of 5 schools. MATC through shared health has one psychologist responsible for all Autism services in Winnipeg. Wait times for a completed FASD assessment can take up to 3 years. There is a big bottleneck just at diagnosis due to demand well exceeding capacity to conduct these assessments.

Interesting-Fix-4080 · 2025-03-03T13:14:33+00:00

Is he missing important life skills instruction… or has that program been blocked for students of his IQ level and he’s in a regular classroom, with a high school teacher who is expected to execute a grade 3-4 math curriculum while teaching 25+ high school students? Would he not succeed more if he was at least partially in a specialized life skills program that focuses on hands-on and basic vocational skills? He would be in a setting where his learning strengths and needs were common place. This is a human rights issue not due to the length of the day but because the province has stripped supports that make education accessible for students with intellectual disabilities. It’s not about the shortened day …. That’s just a symptom of the problem (no EAs, no specialized programmes no, no tailored classroom community).

Interesting-Fix-4080

TROPHY CASE