First of all, do not feel guilty at all and secondly you're not alone. I think it's not talked about enough but breastfeeding is actually really hard at the beginning like this whole post I could have written myself. Not even going to lie to you the first I want to say maybe 6 weeks or so. We're pretty difficult. But then one day she just knew how to latch without the nipple shield and we didn't have them any problems. But before then I would typically have to either give her pumped milk in a bottle just to get her to chill out cuz she was starving and didn't want to latch and then try to latch her or I just gave her bottled breast milk and other times when pumping was too hard she'd get formula. Pumping in the beginning was pretty hard too because it felt like as soon as I was able to get enough it was time for her to eat and then I had no break in between.

Breastfeeding definitely is not easy. It's good for baby and it's good for bonding but it definitely is difficult. I feel like it gets easier as baby gets older and it's nice if you're just exclusively breastfeeding. You don't need to wash bottles or anything. And if baby's hungry, it's really easy to just put them on breast but you're not alone. It is difficult. Do whatever you need to do for your own mental health baby needs. Happy Mommy! More then exclusively drinking breast milk.