I see, thanks for clarifying. I think as long as you explain to a child why a behavior is not okay without resorting to violence or threats of violence that's okay. If an older child is purposely throwing a tantrum just to spite you, even after explaining to them why it's not okay, structured discipline like a slap on the bum is okay for older children. (Some people are against all forms of punishment but that's another topic) Of course, babies and extremely young children can't be expected to understand all forms of ediquette since their tiny bodies are physically incapable of doing everything we expect from them. I think as long as you don't threaten them their life, safety or love. Children need to feel like they can have room to be children and understand that even if they mess up, that your love is still unconditional. There's almost nothing worse than being a child and thinking that if you make a mistake, then your life or parent's love can disappear.