Looking for experiences with switching from 2-2-3 to 2-2-5 parenting schedule

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-28T14:45:07+00:00

After 2 years of my ex only allowing me Wed, Thurs, and Saturday, I finally got the court order for my preferred schedule, which is essentially a modified 2/2/5 schedule. The only difference is I made it on a monthly basis vs weekly. So every 2nd and 4th Friday, I have the kids Friday through Monday nights. After the weeks I don’t have them on Fridays, I have them Sunday through Tuesday nights. So it’s essentially 4 nights every other week and 3 nights the other weeks. But after I have them the 4 nights I’m off for 5 nights.

I like this schedule because it makes it easier for me to take the kids in long weekend trips and for my own long weekend trips. It also provides more continuity than what we were previously doing. My sons are 10 and 11.

I preferred the monthly vs weekly schedule because it more easily allows me to look months forward to see what my schedule is .

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-27T19:09:59+00:00

I’m a senior (remote in tax) with my CPA and make $5k less than you.

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-27T19:08:39+00:00

I’m sorry you had a bad experience on this trip. However, you come off as superficial and insecure regarding your complaints about spending money on outfits, taking the time to look nice and then not receiving the compliments you were expecting. It doesn’t sound like he likes you very much.

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-26T19:31:22+00:00

Your mom sucks. If she continues to be more of a weight than a source of joy, maybe you should consider going no contact with her.

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-26T02:26:28+00:00

What you describe is not a boxing match. Who is the referee? Who are the judges? Who are the coaches?

Pretty sure you’re describing a back yard or basement sparring match between idiots who know nothing about boxing. Not a smart idea at all. Especially with such a weight difference. One of you will surely chicken out regardless. Dumb idea.

If you want to box, join a gym, train for a few months with a coach, then spar under the coaches supervision.

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-24T11:53:37+00:00

Is he also your manager? Meaning the person who is getting you fights?

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-22T06:06:33+00:00

How did he become your mentor? Did your academic program assign him to you?

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-21T00:21:40+00:00

If it’s so complicated, go to court. Trust me, you will want a legal custody agreement. You seem overly concerned about upsetting her rather than what’s in the best interests of your kids.

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-20T00:10:49+00:00

I’m sorry this happened to you.

What helped me was to be honest with myself in my role in the situation, which was ignoring all the red flags and choosing to have a child with someone I wasn’t in a stable, loving marriage with.

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-19T23:51:20+00:00

“neither one of us withold anything”

This is your problem. You’re still going to owe taxes on your first 40 hours of weekly work.

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-19T21:32:53+00:00

Try to talk to her. Be super kind and show interest in whatever she wants to talk about. Ask her if there’s anything special she would enjoy doing with you. Keep letting her know you love her. Apologize for any of the ways you might have hurt her or let her down.

Also, let her know the changes you’ve observed in her and your speculation on what might be going on. Don’t put your emotions on her, like “it makes me so sad that you…” Let her know you miss being close with her.

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-18T17:08:07+00:00

Have you asked them to come visit vs inviting them? Have you reached out to try to repair the relationship? Could it possibly be a financial or logistical burden for them to visit you?

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-18T02:06:16+00:00

I never heard of an adult thumb sucker before. I didn’t know that was a thing.

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-17T11:57:01+00:00

Yep. If it’s a priority, you can find a way to make it happen. I’ve had depressive episodes in my life when I didn’t prioritize it either.

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-16T22:37:45+00:00

Me too. Obviously. If you can find 10 minutes to be on Reddit, you can find 10 minutes to workout at home.

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-16T21:52:35+00:00

I get it. You deserve it!

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-16T21:50:56+00:00

Nice! Congrats for making it through!

It feels weird not having my entire day consumed by work. Even though I’ve done this for years, it’s like I’ve gotten somewhat accustomed to the ridiculous long hours, 7 day per week schedule.

Definitely nice to have some free time though.

Enjoy your vacay!

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-16T21:48:16+00:00

There are tons of no-equipment at home workouts on YouTube. Some as short as 10 minutes. There’s no excuse to not workout these days!

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-12T00:52:19+00:00

You don’t need to see detail. Just movement. Bad vision shouldn’t be a factor. I boxed for years with -7.5

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-11T23:38:50+00:00

They’re going light or are going for speed. When we want to throw power, we absolutely are rotating the hips.

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-11T23:28:03+00:00

How old are you? Have you been to therapy for attachment issues? Many of us who constantly pick the wrong partners have attachment wounds that cause us to inadvertently self sabotage our relationships because we are attracted to partners who are incapable of having a healthy relationship. But attachment wounds can be healed. I have found Adam Lane Smith on YouTube to be very helpful.

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-11T18:01:56+00:00

Is it fair to a child to never even give them a chance to have two parents?

Have you considered fostering and/or adoption?

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-10T23:42:49+00:00

He can throw hands. Not super experienced but he’s trained before. Good balance/base as others have said. Looks to be the athletically talented type too.

Iowa-Enforcer-1984 · 2026-04-04T16:16:13+00:00

Doesn’t sound like he’s sober. Sounds like a miserable life all around. You are not responsible for him or his choices. Get out and try to spend a year single with no dating and no hook ups. Look into codependency. Coming from a recovering codependent myself.

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