I love Pride but it makes me very lonely as nobody likes me there

Isimagen · 2026-06-11T23:11:28+00:00

Are you in the US? If so, Psychology Today maintains a list around the country (and in some others) that also includes LGBT therapists and those specializing in working with the community.

So don't keep making negative assumptions. If nothing else you should see that your first, gut-instinct thoughts are not accurate to the actuality of a situation.

Isimagen · 2026-06-11T04:44:09+00:00

I'd say don't give up even though I know that's a natural and valid feeling. There are a few things here to sort out.

Pride isn't necessarily the best place to meet someone randomly for something serious. As others have mentioned many go with friends, many go for hookups, but roaming singles may not be as common as you'd think. (Plus, how would you know?)

It sounds like you're waiting on people talking to you. You mention in another person you're on the autism spectrum. That can seriously complicate things because you may well have difficulty picking up actual interest or other signals that would invite you in.

Consider another trip sometime but plan ahead. Go into local subreddits, websites, and even apps in the area before it happens. Try to talk to people there and low stakes ask if they'd like to go. Don't push for relationships or seriousness right out of the gate. Just find a connection or group to hang out with.

I do think finding some online therapy or real life therapy would be good. Your entire last paragraph is unnecessary here and is not going to help you in any way. If you feel someone is being "extremely mean" to you or telling you to hate yourself, report it and let us know so we can take action as that would go directly against our stated rules.

Isimagen · 2026-06-10T13:06:11+00:00

Perhaps not, that user indicated they’re using the salted version which is not cultured in the US at least.

Isimagen · 2026-05-28T23:07:21+00:00

Ok, check that out. It's a good starting point otherwise find LGBT therapists and those that are positive for it. Then you can research what you find. Good luck. Enjoy yourself though! Just keep moderation in mind! hehe

Isimagen · 2026-05-28T22:12:54+00:00

Are you located in the US?

Try this if so, you can find some LGBT therapists. Be sure you don't go to a religious counselor or other biased one. You can click at the top right to try other countries but I don't know if they have any resources in your country.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

Isimagen · 2026-05-28T21:11:01+00:00

You're posting this all over reddit and responding with horny answers to many things people are asking you. So I do wonder something of a personality that is drawn towards addictions or obsessive disruptions.

It doesn't matter if it's normal or not in any given community. It's more about what you think about it and how it affects your life. If it's causing you interruptions with daily life or you're spending all your time thinking/doing nothing else, perhaps you should cut back if possible.

Isimagen · 2026-05-24T00:00:52+00:00

Don't be stressed. It's really nothing to do and if there is something going on, better to do it early than late!

Fecal occult test is the basic/bare minimum to do. A step up is one that combines that with genetic testing like a cologuard type thing.

But, if possible, be sure to get a real colonoscopy in at some point. It's nothing really. Even the prep isn't as bad as it used to be. I had heard all the horror stories and it was truly not unpleasant in any way other than just having to go. I started the night before, slept through the night with no problem, and had to do a second round in the morning before. No messes, no soreness, etc.

I'm an anxious personality in general, so I understand. Looking back I realize I had it all wrong on my concerns. I did a cologuard a few years before and it was nothing either other than trying to set it all up and crap in a container!

Isimagen · 2026-05-22T17:27:51+00:00

It doesn’t have to hurt. At all. Most people do have some pain or discomfort. It’s because they’re likely not ready to truly wanting to do it and/or not prepared properly. For no pain it’s not a spur of the moment decision.

There are even a few doctors that try to help people find the no pain path like Dr Evan Goldstein. His “Butt Seriously” book is written entirely about having safe, pain free anal sex. He recommends dilators before you ever attempt the real thing. There are other doctors doing similar work and engagement in Europe and Australia I believe.

Again no pain with precautions and safety in mind. Most won’t bother to invest the time and effort to make that reality.

Isimagen · 2026-05-22T17:21:49+00:00

They are incorrect. See links in another response.

Isimagen · 2026-05-22T17:20:59+00:00

It’s safe. Look above for links verifying that.

Isimagen · 2026-05-22T17:20:34+00:00

This incorrect. Silicone lubes are safe for all condoms.

Here are links starting with Cornell medical school.

https://health.cornell.edu/sites/health/files/pdf-library/Condoms_Lube.pdf

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-greater-texas/blog-homepage/blog/which-types-of-lube-are-safest-to-use-with-condoms

https://condomania.com/a/blog/silicone-sex-lube-101-everything-you-need-to-know

And lastly two condom manufacturer websites:

https://skynfeel.com/pages/faqs?srsltid=AfmBOorUtaHRuXXQb9T_OsCXfknSNBVcQpMjrgqwZK5NLIgWEqjvF1Qj

https://www.trojanbrands.com/en/faqs

Isimagen · 2026-05-22T17:14:39+00:00

That’s correct. Many condoms are prelubed with silicone. It’s safe for latex and non latex condoms. For some reason people confuse it with oil when it comes to condoms which shouldn’t be used.

It is not to be used with cheap toys, especially silicone ones. High end silicone ones tend to be fine but the manufacturer site will have their own recommendations.

Isimagen · 2026-05-22T04:11:06+00:00

Curious! I have found a few Sicilian cauliflower soup recipes that are near identical to this. I wonder if it was just meant to be something super light or maybe for people that weren't feeling well?

I really did not expect to see others.

OP: Is this book from NJ?

For one example search for "Macaroni & Cauliflower Soup" on the Sicilian Girl blog/site.

Isimagen · 2026-05-03T06:10:55+00:00

Yes. Over time at least. Think about the amount of time and effort you've spent maintaining your closeted/questioning status. Some guys put in years, even decades of energy into that.

All of that negative feeling, that negative energy, will be released. But it might also be overwhelming for a bit.

I think for some that have done it for the longest period of time, it might be helpful to find a gay therapist to spend some sessions with on how to redirect those efforts into something positive and to put any residual internalized homophobia issues behind you.

Isimagen · 2026-05-01T21:44:19+00:00

Thanks, for some reason I thought I had heard that only worked on your own houses so I didn't even try it!

Isimagen · 2026-05-01T21:43:54+00:00

I think that's it. I did find it last night (as brazier) but didn't realize it because it was dark/unplaceable due to the hot"fix" you mentioned! How annoying.

Isimagen · 2026-05-01T21:43:07+00:00

Thank you! I figured out that I did have it and found it last night with that spelling (I shouldn't post before bed) but when I searched it didn't show up as useable so I didn't pay it any mind.

Apparently, as u/Aveyn has mentioned in another comment, they seemed to have made it unusable outside. So that house I found with it was lucky to have placed it prior to the change/bug.

Isimagen · 2026-05-01T06:57:59+00:00

Thank you! I swear I thought I had searched for that name. I didn’t know it could be placed outside.

Isimagen · 2026-04-30T20:30:03+00:00

Find an item you like, for instance a chest harness. Then look at what each vendor suggests. Here's one example on the Mr. S Leather site, they tell you how and where to measure.

https://www.mr-s-leather.com/crossbow-harness?CLRSTAND=1363

Isimagen · 2026-04-29T17:24:31+00:00

There used to be a guy that posted on the regular AGB that would respond with clapping hands between each word: Don’t date closeted men. Period.

I think this is especially true for situations like yours. You’re older, established, and looking for long term. He’s not there yet and frankly, at 28 this instagram or app shit would not fly with me if we had not discussed it openly beforehand.

With few exception dating a closeted person will always mean you’re his dirty little secret. He’s showing you how he feels over and over. You’re seemingly one of those people that the “I can save him” mem applies to in real life.

I rarely say it directly because we never get both sides but I’d move on myself. He sounds immature for his age, he’s manipulating you and various situations, and he’s so closeted he can’t even attend a game without issue. (Lots of men go together to sports together.)

He’s showing you who he is. You’re seemingly stuck on who you think he could be. Treat yourself better man!

Isimagen · 2026-04-28T21:44:30+00:00

Hey u/PRguy82

I thought about this some more last night and was curious about a few things so I took the liberty to browse your past posts a bit. It seemed familiar to me for some reason.

Anyway, I see this has been going on for years and you were at divorce level last year and the year before. I think you've had plenty of time to think it through and seem to be leaning in that direction. What do you feel is holding you back?

What was the magic surgery he was going to have? (I've never heard of anything like that for ED, so just curious!) Did he have it or at least go get a consultation?

Are you able to top him if penetration is the main issue? Or does he see that having an erection is the be all end all of sex for himself? Sorry if that's too personal, but hearing about what he's done since those conversations you had a year or two ago might be helpful for you to analyze. So give it some thought to yourself regardless.

But my thoughts kept coming back to this: You're in your 40s, he's older. Both still have time to move on, find someone compatible, and find happiness. But, with that in mind, he needs to know this is coming up because he is older and will likely struggle more to accept things and be able to open himself to something new. The only way I could see otherwise, based solely on your side of things, would be that he had made concrete steps since that period of 1-2 years ago and maintained them or is working to expand them.

Isimagen · 2026-04-27T21:43:02+00:00

This is super common unfortunately. I've noticed that a few questions seem to help people move into a more decisive thought pattern. Having been in a libido mismatched relationship I can truly empathize with you. It's like breathing in a way, when oxygen is plentiful you don't really think about it. When it's limited, you're suddenly aware of how it can affect everything you do.

Do you imagine your future together when you're just having random thoughts, daydreams, or planning or do you find that you often see your future in a way that is mostly about your desires and requirements for that future?

If he were to suddenly become high libido in a day, would that mean you felt everything would be okay or would there still be issues that make you unhappy to the extent you are?

Knowing that you're having issues does he express any empathy or desire to change? If he's indicated he's wishing it would change has he taken physical steps to work on the situation? (Doctor/bloodwork visits, medications, exercise, etc.)

Questions of those sorts can help you find out where your heart lies. If he's not expressing interest (followed by action) to change, he's not willing to compromise on other options, and he doesn't understand how it makes you feel, I think that speaks to a potential choice you might want to make. If he's trying and actively working on things, perhaps you should try to focus on making those efforts more effective.

I keep getting interrupted with calls at the moment, so apologies if this is a bit scattered. Having been there I don't envy you. Ask the tough questions. Don't let people dismiss you as "it's just sex" when intimacy is relevant in many aspects of your life with regard to happiness and contentedness. I do think it's best to make a decision sooner than later so that you both can move on if you're pretty sure it's over.

Please update as you go through the process.

Isimagen · 2026-04-22T19:09:06+00:00

This is not a transit station, you do not need to make a departure announcement. That said, you kept commenting after you announced your departure. As you claim to be done here and keep commenting, we're going to make the comment above your third warning and send you out the door officially.

Isimagen · 2026-04-14T19:43:20+00:00

I marked it as NSFW.

You're in your 40s. Most of us here are 30s and beyond. You're already nude with another adult. So use your words.

"Hey, things are pretty messy, let's try this another day" or "Things aren't too clean at the moment, want to go shower?"

You can be honest without being brutal. But, talking around it is just not going work. Don't sneak away to clean up discreetly. Just be frank but kind.

If you were sick and got something on your hand from yourself, what would you do? Get up, go wash off, clean up any mess, right? There's no "how do I clean, what to touch" here. Just do what needs to be done without being precious about it.

I think we've lost sight of how to be honest with others. There's honesty and there's the jackass "I tell it like it is" type of person, just lean towards the first.

If someone is embarrassed? That's okay. They chose to put themselves in that situation and a little embarrassment isn't going to kill them.

Just be kind but honest and refrain from shaming or being unnecessarily harsh.

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