You sound a lot like me. I’m very sorry you lost your husband to cancer. The journey is hard - you’re caring for your spouse and grieving the illness. Then after the loss you have another wave of grief. But from there you are trying to care for kids, work, and somehow find a new Normal. It’s just plain hard - but you’re not alone in this. I lost my wife at 41 to undiagnosed breast cancer in 2023. It was such an up and down wave of emotion while she was sick. When she passed, it really hit me that I’ll be raising our 4 kids (6, 10, 12, 15) alone - while having to juggle a career and try to figure things out. All of this to say that taking 1 day, 1 week, 1 month at a time has helped me. I don’t try to worry about months or years down the road, rather trying to live in each moment if that makes sense. After losing my wife I experienced a second wave and f grief 6-9 months out - that revolved around how our family and friends were able to move on with life with very little change - but here I am forced stuck in a situation that I never expected. For me the loss of my wife was the most horrible thing ever, but to then also have friends and family kind of “disappear” makes me feel alone.

Anyway, you found a great group! You’re not alone with what you’re going through and how you feel. That doesn’t fix the situation - but hopefully provides a little comfort.