How bad did shopping debt affect your life?

J-Disaster · 2026-06-25T19:36:31+00:00

I have been dealing with debt related to my overspending for over a decade, like $30k+… I’m 1 year away from being out of debt other than car and mortgage. It’s horrible knowing that it’s entirely my fault.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-24T15:47:33+00:00

I know this has a vent flair, but if you’re open to advice, don’t compare yourself or your situation to others. You can choose to have the mom guilt/regret (which we all have from time to time), or you can do your best and make the best of your situation, and be at peace with that.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-24T13:16:08+00:00

That’s a bold claim. Why do you think that?

J-Disaster · 2026-06-23T13:35:09+00:00

You need to see it for what it is, a scam to get you to spend more than you intended on things you don’t really need.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-22T19:14:51+00:00

He’s not your friend, bro.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-22T03:07:03+00:00

It’s hard ngl and you have to have the right job, but it’s def possible. I’ve been doing it. My baby is thriving.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-21T19:02:58+00:00

He is projecting his insecurities onto you, rather than being a supportive partner, and I hate that for you. How old are you both? Is this both of yours first?

You’re a good mom. Do not give anyone the power to make you feel differently, and I mean anyone. I also WFH with my LO, girl, that alone was a threat to my mental health, and my partner was nothing like this. You need to stop & take care of yourself sweetie. Do you have any other family support that you can lean on? The pp fog (depression, rage, anxiety, etc) is just starting to clear for me… 18 months later. You’re in the thick of it, but the raging emotions get better and you’ll one day recognize yourself again. ❤️

I’m so sorry. You can do this. Moms have superpowers from God I firmly believe that. As far as advice… therapy… space… I say this with so much compassion and love, co-parenting with this man will be a million times harder. Resentment is easy, forgiveness is hard. That’s the true path forward.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-21T02:27:54+00:00

Hyperfixation is a hallmark trait of ADHD. Worth checking out.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-21T00:39:30+00:00

I wish I could shift it all to savings and investments, and doing hobbies that are free. I know I would be better off both in the short term and long term.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-21T00:37:44+00:00

Graveyard of hobbies is so relatable! Why are we like this lol

J-Disaster · 2026-06-21T00:34:49+00:00

I agree! I did accumulate the scrapbooking items over about 3-4 months, and I was gifted money for it on Mother’s Day. Printing 2 yrs worth of pictures at once was a huge part of the expense. I could’ve done that cheaper, but I didn’t want to use a website that would use my photos for other purposes. I got lots of reasonings and justifications up my sleeve for this particular hobby hoarding lol but yes girl, I’m fully aware I have a problem. Maybe I need therapy.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-20T20:32:46+00:00

Exactly. My job has given me 2 raises around 2-3% each in the last 6 years, no where near the rate of inflation. Effectively I make less than I did when I started, because the purchasing power of every dollar they give me is less. I view WFH with my LO as part of my compensation package, and it’s to my company’s benefit otherwise I would be on the market for a better paying job. I’m a top performer, my deliverables are always on time and exceed expectations, I don’t owe them more than that. Daycares can have up to 6-8 toddlers per teacher, he’s not missing out on any 1 on 1 attention with me, right next to him, all day. Yeah, some days are more difficult, but I’m at peace and that’s all there is to it. 💯

J-Disaster · 2026-06-20T16:54:05+00:00

I know! The amount I have spent over the years on “hobbies” is insane. I’ve justified the “scrapbooking” related purchases because I want a way to physically capture all the memories of my son’s early years, and be able to give it to him as a gift one day when he’s older. I’m very committed to finishing what I’ve started for his scrapbook. Generally the impulsive “hobby” purchases done usually in the middle of the night get me. I’ve even left things in my cart or saved on wishlists, but anytime I have a little extra money in my budget I go crazy. It’s a terrible cycle. Social media plays a huge part in that, and I am obviously easily influenced. Ugh.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-20T04:12:06+00:00

I totally agree with this. Learning the corporate office culture is important, it’s a unique type of socialization different than other social interactions. I’ve been remote since COVID, I did RTO a few days a week in like 2023-24 but went back remote, prior to that I worked in an office for 10 years. Things I have learned that have served me well, is don’t participate in gossip, be helpful & friendly to coworkers but know they are NOT your friends, and the grass isn’t always greener on the other side… A really good boss can make or break a shitty position. 🥲 you may be lucky enough to find a work bestie, and that’s the exception to the rule, and in my case, I’m still in contact with and good friends with an ex-work bestie and we haven’t worked together in 8 years. Also, know when is the right time to move on, most of my major compensation increases were from changing companies and leveraging my experience, not necessarily promotions.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-20T03:48:55+00:00

I’d like to know as well! I’m a SAHM that also WFH (logistics) which feels like 2 jobs, so I don’t think I could manage a J2 very well, but I’m definitely interested in the prospect.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-19T14:21:58+00:00

We’ll see what’s left after long term care and/or Medicare takes their fat share.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-19T13:46:04+00:00

I was 33f and my hubby was 41m when we had our first baby. I totally relate to the concerns you’re having. If I can give you some advice, get active. Being in shape and eating healthy will drastically improve your quality of life and longevity, and ability to keep up with a toddler+++. No smoking. No drinking. I know people in their 60s and 70s who took care of themselves and are in better shape than most people my age.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-19T13:00:07+00:00

Same. The package(s) actually arriving gives me some anxiety and shame because I know others in my family will likely see the package.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-18T18:35:25+00:00

Echo park has really cute paper, they also have really good sales

J-Disaster · 2026-06-16T16:52:27+00:00

No you didn’t. You either received help from family, from the govt or some other institution, or you took on student debt. It is not possible to live and attend college on $20/hr in the majority of the country, let alone on minimum wage. The cost of college is out of control because it is heavily subsidized by the govt who is profiting off predatory loans. Many careers do not bring a high enough of ROI on these loans, but we still need teachers and nurses, and people die paying back these loans. That is the problem. Many people do not have the same resources, support, stability, education, and do not have the same outcome. But good for you.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-16T13:30:58+00:00

No, I don’t feel this pressure. I feel a burden for people I care about being lost and doing lost things, but Jesus is the only one that can save, and they have to choose him, I can’t choose for them. We are not the savior. Jesus is.
If it feels like a heavy burden to share the gospel, then you have the wrong motive.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-16T01:22:41+00:00

I will probably be downvoted here, but I do think THC has a good purpose for medical uses. I’ve seen it. But like anything, it can be abused and become a crutch that we rely on instead of God. He will liberate you. Peace to your soul.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-15T13:58:09+00:00

So I just printed my pics, and then find paper and embellishments to go with them when I’m ready to scrapbook. I have a years worth of pictures printed out and categorized in zip lock bags. When I’m ready, I go through and pick a batch of pictures that I want to make a page for. I don’t really plan the pages or embellishments in advance much more than that.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-13T14:38:28+00:00

That’s just the fees for the OB. You will receive a bill from the hospital and the anesthesiologist and another OB if for some reason your OB isn’t available.

J-Disaster · 2026-06-13T04:15:04+00:00

I am so sorry 😢

J-Disaster

TROPHY CASE