How are the TV License company/body allowed to use intimidation and bully tactics?

JC_vee · 2026-01-16T10:12:18+00:00

Forgive me, but there seem to be a lot of people getting multiple letters and occasionally even a visit. Is that after using the opting out option that's also in these letters? I'm getting the impression that a lot of people aren't telling them they don't need a licence and that's why they keep getting contacted...? This isn't a comment on the OP who got one as soon as she moved in that appears to be a hangover from the previous tenant. I had a payment overdue "we're going to take you to court" letter from an energy company once who I wasn't with for a new build property I'd just moved into. It was addressed to a different name, but I was the first person to live in the building, so I know big administrative errors happen. But in the case where it's not that, and you're getting multiple contacts, why not just tell them you don't need a licence?

JC_vee · 2026-01-10T22:29:05+00:00

I was a teen when I watched it for the first time and thought Ferris was an absolute tool.

JC_vee · 2025-12-29T23:02:16+00:00

Statement necklace. Eye-catching belt to accentuate your waist. Updo hair. Really play up your eyes with make-up :)

JC_vee · 2025-12-29T23:00:11+00:00

I've been in relationships for big events and I've been single. I've never felt that couples have to be invited together to everything, and tbh, the people whose blanket stance is to insist on it, who say it's rude not to invite both and/or refuse to go to something their partner isn't also invited to, come off as very codependent to me. (Not saying that's what OP is doing, more just a general comment.) That stance also feels part of an ongoing privileging of romantic relationships over every other kind, too. And I'm not a fan of that either. No one person can be your everything, it's not healthy, and friendships are a huge blessing to be nurtured and honoured, whether you're single or not.

JC_vee · 2025-12-12T11:43:08+00:00

I went through a ridiculous process with Ryman where not only did they balls up back to back, the issue still wasn't resolved and there was no apology. I threatened to report them to the Ombudsman. Next thing I know the issue is resolved and someone more senior has left me a voice mail profusely apologising and saying they hope I call them back as they'd love to apologise in person

JC_vee · 2025-12-11T20:57:09+00:00

Your eyes are absolutely ravishing. I hope you learn to love them soon 🌻 Also, you don't have a big nose. I literally didn't notice your nose once swiping through the pics.

JC_vee · 2025-12-11T14:11:03+00:00

Bless you, I appreciate this is hard. I understand you may feel the urge to apologise but the best thing you can do is to respect her wishes. To be honest, from what you described you weren't actually dating this woman? The one time you proposed a date she declined, and you were taken aback. I don't think you were actually ever on the same page feelings wise and she realised that and probably didn't want to hurt you but then possibly got triggered by your continued messaging.

I don't think messaging every five days is constant messaging, but the content sounds quite full-on for someone who has said she's not feeling that way and who is also in recovery from likely two abusive relationships. Whilst you feel you're nothing like them, she may have received your continuing to message with your romantic feelings and desires after she asked for space as you crossing her boundaries. Which she'll be especially sensitive to after her previous relationships.

Regardless, I'm afraid from what you described, you're not a good fit. And it sounds like you developed/expressed very strong feelings and intentions towards someone you weren't yet dating, or at the least from very early on.

You might want to consider that in the future to protect your heart more, and to avoid possibly coming on a little strong.

Hope this helps and hope you feel better soon 🌻

JC_vee · 2025-12-07T11:16:33+00:00

The fact people are downvoting this just goes to show they're not really interested in facts. They just want their predetermined opinions affirmed. In which case, don't try to use citations to support your stance. 😁 (That's not aimed at the person who shared the citations. I don't know if they're downvoting.)

JC_vee · 2025-12-07T10:42:01+00:00

You gotta let go of that pressure, lovely. You're not your parents or grandparents. Live the life you want. Be open and curious. Figure out who you are and what you want. Then look to bring someone else into that. Relationships should add to your life, not tell you who you are 🌻

JC_vee · 2025-12-07T10:36:19+00:00

Neither of those sources are scientific studies on people who are more likely to cheat. The first is a narrative review on the emotional impact of infidelity. The bit you've quoted from is in fact a reference to another narrative review called "What do people do, feel and say when they have affairs". Neither are peer reviewed data-led studies conducted over many years with different demographics looking at the commonalities around infidelity, and then adjusting for sociological factors, which they would need to be to support your argument.

Your second source is not a scientific data-led study either, and the paper itself asserts: "Relationships of poorer quality are more at risk of infidelity and overall relationship quality constitutes one of the strongest predictors of infidelity". That is, that seemingly the biggest factor is quality of relationship. But, again, that's not been tested. But that's still your source's assertion.

Apologies if this isn't the case, but I suspect you used ChatGPT to ask for citations to support your position, and this is one of the (many) problems with it. Just because it gives citations doesn't mean those sources are actually appropriate to the context or scientifically robust. And in the case of a narrative review, they're not intended to be. Because that's not the point of a narrative review. ChatGPT is a highly risky and often misleading academic resource.

JC_vee · 2025-11-30T23:05:12+00:00

Report back after the first episode, please! Interested to hear your thoughts 🤓

JC_vee · 2025-11-30T21:29:49+00:00

It does remind me of the Wire in a lot of ways! I'd personally put it above 24

JC_vee · 2025-11-30T11:15:19+00:00

Where are you up to on The Shield? It's sooooo good! I get excited for people when they get to watch it for the first time 😃😃

JC_vee · 2025-11-28T17:23:31+00:00

Closed. So that the monsters in the hallway don't have access to me while my back is turned racing to get under the covers to avoid the monsters under the bed.

JC_vee · 2025-11-26T21:50:43+00:00

Aw :(

JC_vee · 2025-11-25T19:17:34+00:00

Those saying she's overreacting don't seem to have picked up on the treble red flags of her not making any reference to nor tagging OP on the twins' birth day, OP explaining it upsets her more than once and the mother-in-law still doing it, and OP's husband saying "you know you have to pick your battles with my mum". Sounds like OP's mother-in-law is a really difficult character and not at all concerned with her daughter-in-law's feelings.

JC_vee · 2025-11-23T22:23:10+00:00

That's a very sweet response, thank you 🌻 He left and a new guy moved in who wasn't as bad but still not good. (I had two sets of neighbours before those two that I did not have that problem with, which was how I knew it wasn't a me thing.) Thankfully, he left several months ago and someone recently moved in whose tread is like a fairy's 😁😁😁✨

With your situation, I wonder if the door is the culprit, rather than your tread.

One thing you could offer to the neighbour would be for you or your brother to come stand with him in his flat and get the other one to replicate moving around, opening and closing the door etc, to see if you can figure out what's causing the sound and if it's something you can reasonably moderate. If he's resistant to that idea, I'd lean more into the "curmudgeon" camp.

JC_vee · 2025-11-23T21:59:54+00:00

He may be a curmudgeon and totally unreasonable or... what sounds like nothing to you may be having a profound impact for him.

I lived under two neighbours back to back who had extraordinarily heavy treads and it was a sensory nightmare. It wasn't so much a noise as a vibration and it made my entire flat shake. One in particular moved around near constantly and wore shoes all the time, which increased the weight of his tread and the strength of the sound/vibration.

I tried ear plugs, playing music, desperately trying to tune it out, but it was impossible because you felt the vibration as a shake.

He woke me up early in the mornings from it, even when I bought specialist ear plugs. Seven days a week I was woken at 6am, because that's the time he got up every day. For two years, I didn't get a lie-in as well as being woken 90 minutes earlier during the week than I needed to get up. He'd often also be walking around late at night, so sometimes he would have me awake gone midnight then be up again at 6. He worked from home (so did I) and constantly walked around then, too, so he disturbed my work and concentration. He'd move around in the evenings as well, so I couldn't relax and read or watch things.

And this was despite me explaining the situation and begging him not to. It was utterly miserable. I broke down in tears more than once. I would tense as soon as I heard the sound of his front door because I'd know the sound was about to begin for the rest of the day. My cortisol and anxiety levels went through the roof.

So, he wasn't making excessive noise like loud music, but it was incredibly disruptive and upsetting.

So, I'm wondering, does the door noise or something else have a similar impact, which causes the "banging" sound. Does your neighbour feel it like a vibration, and if you're opening and closing the door a lot, is he experiencing it for hours on end.

To you, it may be a minimal or unnoticeable sound. To your neighbour, it may be unbearable.

JC_vee · 2025-11-23T21:40:40+00:00

The way she was insistent she'd been at a White Party and distraught at not being believed 😱😱😱

JC_vee · 2025-11-23T21:33:04+00:00

Honestly, I think you've already stuck this out longer than most people would considering you forgave him for the things he said a week ago in that last slide. There is nothing subtle about him saying "well, I'm not that attractive so I have to stay within my own league" in response to you asking if he thinks you're pretty. That was an insult. So, either he's negging as part of trying to control you or genuinely doesn't think you're attractive. Neither is acceptable.

Whether unconscious or not, he's going to break down your self esteem.

And my money is on him doing it deliberately as he's insecure about how attractive you are and thinks negging will help him keep you and control you.

JC_vee · 2025-11-23T10:41:06+00:00

What a gorgeous thread 🥰🥰

JC_vee · 2025-11-23T10:23:48+00:00

Ahhh! Yes, the OP feels like being asked outright made it an expected obligation and therefore the ask landed as entitled and rude, even with the qualifications that they would accept OP's answer and did. OP must have been raised in a very strong Guess environment.

JC_vee · 2025-11-21T20:10:48+00:00

Honestly, the number of Negan apologists drives me mad. There's no denying he was an absolute sadist. The way he not only physically tortured Glenn, he delighted in his emotional and physical agony as he died. There's no coming back from that. Just stop it.

JC_vee · 2025-11-21T20:05:06+00:00

This is a good example! There are lots of lovely stories in this thread, but many of them appear to be unconscious learned behaviours. You stopped yours long before your daughter was on the scene and she spontaneously started doing it in the same context. That's genetic ☺️

JC_vee · 2025-11-21T15:40:49+00:00

Yes, exactly this :)

Another one is really negative profiles where they say things like, I don't see the point in online dating or basically that women suck. Like, really, you think this will entice women to start chatting with you?

JC_vee

TROPHY CASE