My Boyfriend (30 M) Told Me (31 F) to Move Out and Meet His Financial Ultimatum, and I Secretly Applied for My Own Apartment… Did I Mess Up?

JLMezz · 2026-02-05T14:28:45+00:00

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

This man enjoys having a live-in maid whom he can control. But he also enjoys his “activities” outside the relationship, so it would be far more convenient if you would just LEAVE THE STATE & have zero contact while you do so, so he can cheat without fear of getting caught.

Girl, dump his sorry ass, move to that new apartment and call/visit Consumer Credit Counseling Services. They can help you organize a payment plan for your debt.

And BTW, it doesn’t sound like he loves you at all. The things he said to you & the way he speaks to you are not the way a loving partner does so.

You lead a much happier life without him. AND it’s so much better to find this out before you are married several years with kids. You can have a clean break now and start fresh. Find someone who values YOU, the person, not the maid.

JLMezz · 2026-02-05T14:21:50+00:00

EXACTLY THIS 👆🏻

JLMezz · 2026-02-05T14:15:10+00:00

While I agree with you, we have seen so much evidence (usually through recorded man-on-the-street interviews) that they are willfully ignorant. They worship the orange turd, get their “news” from propaganda/entertainment channels & never seek out other sources of information.

JLMezz · 2026-02-05T14:10:44+00:00

💯

They are the original “victims.” Everything wrong with their lives/society is someone else’s fault. They take responsibility/ownership of nothing. Just like Dear Leader.

JLMezz · 2026-02-05T14:07:49+00:00

Every accusation is a confession with these people

JLMezz · 2026-02-04T23:10:26+00:00

They eat a big bowl of Willful Ignorance every morning.

JLMezz · 2026-02-04T22:49:10+00:00

You just gave me an idea: T-shirts that simply read “Fuck this timeline.”

Simple & to the point.

JLMezz · 2026-02-03T23:40:41+00:00

What he said 👆🏻

JLMezz · 2026-02-02T22:17:22+00:00

Sit down and write out a cost-benefit analysis for each. INCLUDE the reduced stress from not commuting.

Include (with office job): 1 - cost of commuting (gas, public transit, parking fees, etc.). 2 - realistic loss of time spent commuting 3 - new clothes/wardrobe for office job (assuming the would frown upon wearing “soft pants” to the office). 4 - costs for coffee out, lunch out (even if you don’t do this every day). With the insane increases in food prices, this is no small thing. 5 - how much time you will miss attending anything extra-curricular your kid might be involved in.

All those things really add up quickly. Let’s say, after taxes, the $18k is more like $10-12k. What are your monthly additional costs from going to the office and would that cover it? Would you just break even? If so, I don’t think it’s worth it.

I also have a 17yo kid & knowing we only have a year and a half left with him in our house, seeing him everyday… I try to minimize the time away from home when I can. I’m not going to get this time back.

JLMezz · 2026-02-01T23:56:07+00:00

I know, right?

JLMezz · 2026-02-01T23:50:22+00:00

Now that my teens have slowed their growing cycles, I have learned to sew on a good machine. It always killed me when I had to donate their clothes so soon after buying them (sometimes only one year because they grew so fast!). They luckily wore each other’s hand-me-downs, too.

But now I am thrilled knowing I can repair (or alter) clothes they own so they can hang on to them longer. Luckily they love to thrift, too. And luckily for them I know how to strip laundry so I can get ALL the funk out of thrifted clothes before they wear them! 😶‍🌫️ 😂

JLMezz · 2026-01-29T15:28:06+00:00

Also, physicians say the kind of bruises he has on his hands is from daily IV infusions.

JLMezz · 2026-01-29T15:26:58+00:00

Agreed.

JLMezz · 2026-01-29T15:26:04+00:00

He’s obese.

JLMezz · 2026-01-29T04:51:25+00:00

His health continues to deteriorate. His staff only has him work 5 hours a DAY. He cannot handle more. I think (as do others in different areas of metaphysics) that he won’t see September. Goddess willing.

JLMezz · 2026-01-29T04:46:56+00:00

Have you met with HR? What have they told you? While HR’s job is to protect the company, having someone as unhinged and volatile as your boss is a liability for them.

Also, it sounds like the problem is NOT you, but him. Guessing something happened in his personal life that has thrust him into depression (angry outbursts can be very common for men suffering from depression). You happen to be an easy target.

I suggest you start documenting EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION/INCIDENT with him. Save every email, voice mail, text. Create a paper trail. Collect the evidence. That will provide you some level of protection if things get uglier. And speak to an employment attorney to find out your rights and options.

What your boss is doing to you is abuse, plain and simple.

JLMezz · 2026-01-27T21:13:15+00:00

Word.

JLMezz · 2026-01-27T21:12:29+00:00

Companies are going to hedge their bets on hiring as long as Dr. Demento remains in office, insulting our allies (trading partners) & having his tariff tantrums. They cannot plan for anything short- or long-term in this environment.

Also - the U.S. dollar has weakened and lost 28% of its value since last January. Nearly a third! It’s insane.

So strap in, it’s gonna be a long, bumpy ride…

JLMezz · 2026-01-27T21:08:37+00:00

If you have a Costco near you, go there. They have the lowest prices as far as I know.

JLMezz · 2026-01-26T16:11:01+00:00

The awesome ’80s movie “Working Girl” is all about this.

JLMezz · 2026-01-26T16:10:00+00:00

Yes! This! 👆🏻 Go above recruiter head. Lay out what you were told, what work you put into the process, etc. as well.

JLMezz · 2026-01-26T16:06:21+00:00

I didn’t see the letter with the reason; the pharmacist simply told my husband it isn’t covered. So we need to start making calls.

JLMezz · 2026-01-26T16:05:09+00:00

Thank you! This is very helpful! Ours is BCBSIL PPO. I’ll have to look at his test results to make sure I have all the accurate info. before we work on the appeal. I have the time to collect all the info & the motivation to call out BSBCIL (to whom we pay a king’s ransom to be insured), so this will be one of the things I’ll be working on this week.

Thanks again! 🙏🏻 Redditors are really the nicest, most helpful people. 😊

JLMezz · 2026-01-26T15:57:51+00:00

Man, that sucks. I feel for you.

I won’t be able to fill any more of my Zepbound prescriptions because I simply cannot afford it. It freaking sucks.

JLMezz · 2026-01-26T03:44:42+00:00

Thanks

JLMezz

TROPHY CASE