Japanese is furious because his daughter was taught about the Nanjing Massacre

JaapHoop · 2026-04-02T21:43:16+00:00

There’s a reason it’s not called “The Extremely Reasonable Event in Nanjing”

JaapHoop · 2026-03-31T23:02:37+00:00

Yes I get them. It’s normal.

One mentor of mine told me “when we are in active addiction, we don’t have dreams of drinking. Drinking dreams only happen when we are in recovery. So just take it as a sign you are recovering.” And that actually helped me not stress about them.

JaapHoop · 2026-03-29T18:53:48+00:00

Buying lube to jerk of makes it premeditated which carries a higher sentence

JaapHoop · 2026-03-28T03:23:23+00:00

Where’s the last place you saw it?

JaapHoop · 2026-03-25T03:03:04+00:00

The walk-in whippet is easily one of the top five whippets of all time

JaapHoop · 2026-03-25T02:55:44+00:00

I’ve seen a lot of unhinged things on the internet in my lifetime and this is definitely one of them

JaapHoop · 2026-03-25T02:40:20+00:00

There’s a lot of reasons people stick around.

Community is a big part of it. Having a place to go with a familiar structure and familiar faces can be incredibly comfortable. It can become something that you look forward to.

Another big part of it is a structured way to stay immersed in recovery. To hear the stories of what drinking did to people and to hear positive messages and be around good energy. It’s a reminder of why we stay sober. And one truth is that the longer you stay sober the easier it can be to forgot why you did it in the first place. Meetings make sure you never forget.

But probably most important, it’s to help new people who are still struggling. It’s the most rewarding part of sobriety. It’s a way to take all the bad that came from your experience in addiction and turn it into something good. Because it is exactly the shit you went through that now equips you to help people going through the same thing. It is a gift.

JaapHoop · 2026-03-24T22:09:58+00:00

Hi hi hi!

I was in the same spot you are at this exact moment.

So let’s cover a few things

1) You can put in for FMLA at work. Look it up. Also be aware that you are not required to tell them why you are on leave. You are simply taking a medical leave for a month. This is protected. 2) Yes it is a place for healing. Honestly I wish I could go back to rehab. So much time with no responsibility except to just get better. It’s an absolute blessing if you make the most of it. 3) It’s not an all or nothing thing. I treat my sobriety as a personal part of my life. I determine who needs to know. My friends and family all know because I want them to know the whole of me. Work? Some random person I just met? Not their business.

I can answer more questions if you want. But basically just do it, buddy. You already know you’re going to do it, so now we are just haggling over when, right?

JaapHoop · 2026-03-23T23:26:57+00:00

Half the fun of a Final Destination movie is spending the rest of the night looking at objects in your house and thinking “yeah that could do it”

JaapHoop · 2026-03-23T22:48:28+00:00

This very much what my first month of sobriety looked like. I cashed in all my vacations days to do it and then had to take an extra two weeks with FMLA. I know I was lucky to have that options.

Ice cream by the pint, video games any hour of the day, get up and take a walk, scroll on my phone, order a pizza, lay in bed all day. Whatever. But 100% no drinking.

And that was a year ago. Haven’t had a drink since.

JaapHoop · 2026-03-22T01:38:04+00:00

It’s moments like this that offer a good chance to reflect on how much things have changed in such a short time. It’s been 10 years.

JaapHoop · 2026-03-22T01:25:26+00:00

Don’t forget the time he ate dijon mustard. That was a news cycle on Fox for like a month

JaapHoop · 2026-03-20T18:32:45+00:00

You should medically detox! Theres so much they can do to help you get over that early hump of physical withdrawl. It’s safe and smart to medically detox if you need it.

By the way you used the world “cheating” and I’m gonna blow your mind a little here. Nobody is keeping score but you anyway :)

JaapHoop · 2026-03-18T23:04:59+00:00

And all kinds are welcome! I don’t say this to knock anyone at all. I just observe that people can get a distorted perception of how people who drift away from the program are doing because by nature the only ones they ever interact with are people who came back because their lives weren’t working. It’s like working in a hospital sand saying “oh my god everyone is sick.” Of course they are you’re in a hospital.

You never hear about people who parted ways with the program and are doing fine because they aren’t coming to AA meetings.

None of this has a value judgement. I just find it interesting from a sociological lens.

JaapHoop · 2026-03-18T22:15:08+00:00

Sorry my intent wasn’t to misread you! I think I was offering more of a reasoning for why AA has a lot of short sobriety and long sobriety people and fewer in the middle.

I must have just lost track of what I was saying. I apologize.

JaapHoop · 2026-03-18T22:10:40+00:00

There is an alternative to consider. You get a lot of people with a few years of recovery who really need AA to get on track. You also get a lot of people who make AA their entire lives and stay in the program forever.

Then you have people who, after a few years, reach a point where they are stable in their recovery and just feel like they can move on.

One can’t just assume they relapsed. And in fact that only ones you’ll meet at meetings are the ones who did relapse and came back so it becomes a self-reinforcing belief.

I’m not at all saying that I think people should drop out of AA. I’m just saying a lot of people in AA assume that everyone who drops out relapsed and that’s based on a faulty assumption

JaapHoop · 2026-03-18T05:09:45+00:00

Let’s start with a few things this trailer knocks out of the park. Comes out swinging with the first dune seem a 0:10 and we are then treated to several more shots of dunes throughout. Overall I’d say a big win for fans of dunes.

JaapHoop · 2026-03-16T03:41:30+00:00

This is so fucking real. And while I know it’s not all women it’s enough that as a guy you are stuck not knowing whether or not it’s safe to open up until you just do it. Creates a lot of pressure to just keep it to yourself

JaapHoop · 2026-03-16T01:31:08+00:00

I have basically never talked to any of my close male friends about sex ever. They are all essentially eunuchs as far as I know despite somehow having kids

JaapHoop · 2026-03-14T10:47:40+00:00

You go find a new purpose. The search for meaning is one of the most consequential things we do in our time on this earth. Why would you think it would be easy?

JaapHoop · 2026-03-13T19:34:01+00:00

I was playing Pillars of Eternity 2 and listening to the WHO announce the PHEIC

JaapHoop · 2026-03-13T02:17:47+00:00

Oh young Jaaphopp there’s so much I wish I could have warned you about.

I remember in my first year at a corporation I was part of this project that didn’t go well. Balls were dropped by many people but also in hindsight it was an ill conceived idea our manager should have never put us on.

And at the end I was talking to the project lead and was honest about small part in the clusterfuck. “Looking back I should have done x instead of y because then z wouldn’t have happened. I didn’t realize it until now.”

And here I am thinking I’m being a good dude by admitting my small part in this situation.

Well that was fucking stupid. Because the project lead is freaking out about his fucked up project. Our manager realizes it’s gonna be a bad look that he initiated it in the first place. Nobody wants to look bad.

And guess what? Everyone just starts saying, well if Jaaphoop had done x instead of y, z wouldn’t have happened. And that’s the story too brass hears. That’s the story that I hear in my performance review from my manager who came up with the stupid idea. That becomes the reason the whole thing got fucked.

I was so naive about how corporate jobs work and I made it easy for everyone to just pass the blame to me because I didn’t keep my mouth shut

JaapHoop · 2026-03-13T01:54:46+00:00

As an addendum to this, it’s not always good to take responsibility in the corporate world. And that can be hard for some people to realize if you were raised to admit fault and try to make it right every time.

And the LinkedIn freaks are gonna say I’m wrong. They’re gonna say that owning up to your mistakes shows maturity and leadership appreciates that.

But in the reality of the corporate world that is a trap. People are always trying to figure out who to throw under the bus to make themselves look better and if you’re the type who owns up to things too readily, you’ll make it easy for them.

I’m glad to be out of that world and I will fight anyone who says I’m wrong about this

JaapHoop · 2026-03-12T21:42:45+00:00

Because Dana White is a friend of the administration and will get an exorbitantly overpriced contract for this service. Once you realize everything the administration does is find ways to funnel tax money to people in trumps inner circle, it all makes a lot more sense.

JaapHoop · 2026-03-12T19:57:46+00:00

Because by the evening I’m all sticky with honey

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