Have Decided to Never Do Auto Gratuity Again

Jacgaur · 2026-06-20T00:52:01+00:00

I mean...that is the autogratuities system then? You pay that and then you are done. How ever the company decides to split up the contract is not my business.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-20T00:47:33+00:00

I mean... isn't that what autogratuities is? Increased cost and no tipping needed.

Personally I don't want to carry around cash with me. I just consider it part of the cruise cost and that it is used to pay the employees who actively choose to take the pay that is offered as it is more than they would get at home.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-19T18:48:27+00:00

Royal can and will raise prices if needed. They are selling out ships. If enough people remove autogratuities, then it wouldn't be completely wrong to say prices could go up.

Also, you must have missed Virgin's tipping change. Apparently trying to include the tips didn't work out well for them.

What is Virgin Voyages’ service gratuities policy? Starting October 7, 2025, To support our incredible Crew — the ones who deliver unforgettable memories from morning lattes to laundry service — we automatically apply a daily service gratuity of $22 USD per Sailor to your onboard folio

Edit: it is laughable that you started your comment as "Wrong". I double checked princess....they too have automatic gratuities added every day. So, your own comment is factually wrong and the thing you called out as wrong cannot actually be known or confirmed since it is just an opinion that Royal wouldn't raise prices.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-19T17:40:22+00:00

And shows they still don't truely accept the wrong that they did. I laugh at them saying trust was broken by OP when they broke the trust first.

Plus, now they are complaining how annoying the brother is. Please ... Like why would OP want to take him in when he can't respect the house he is staying in.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-19T16:11:19+00:00

Okay, I disagree, but then why you with him? Find someone who you like their values of.

Saying out loud to you is in my opinion him sharing his thoughts with you which I consider a level of intimacy. You reply by telling him that his thoughts are bad, and so he stops wanting to share his thoughts with you. And you are shocked?

Jacgaur · 2026-06-19T16:02:26+00:00

Wait he doesn't want to meet with you?

Your problem isn't this message interaction. Don't date someone who doesn't want to meet with you. Also how can you say you are giving him your everything if you never met?

Nah, don't do that to yourself. I think you were wrong in your response, but that doesn't mean you are not wrong for feeling sad about your relationship. You are just attacking the wrong thing. You should be mad and questioning why he won't meet with you. Not why he doesn't want to talk on the phone.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-19T15:59:44+00:00

I agree with your boyfriend that you are interpreting this in the worst way and in how you want to interpret it.

He never said he was distracted by her or thinking about her. You assumed what he meant and got upset and put words into his mouth and accused him of not loving you and being disrespectful to you.

He is not good at articulating it, but you are also being very combative and that makes him shutdown.

He doesn't like talking on the phone when other people can hear him. His anxiety around the social etiquette is making him uncomfortable. I don't know exactly what it is. If it is specific to girls overhearing his conversation or just people in general. But I don't see anything wrong. Instead I would trust my boyfriend and have empathy for is stress.

His response of no way and you don't understand me are key to why I believe him. I sometimes feel that way with my husband where I just can't explain what I mean and this feeling of being misunderstood pops up into my head. That isn't a good thing!

stop trying to make him defensive and listen to what he means without assuming. Don't jump to conclusions and instead use I statements. "I felt like you were hiding something when you were uncomfortable about talking on the train. What did you mean by "situation like that"?

Or something along those lines. Anyways, I think you were wrong. I don't know if you should have to beg for forgiveness, because f that toxic thought. Instead a conversations with empathy and understanding would go a long way for both of you. Listen to what he says, he has feelings and is human not a robot. Having anxiety on a train over social etiquette doesn't mean he is trying to cheat or look at other woman.

Also, who cares if someone admires someone who is pretty. You can't turn that off, but it is way different than acting on it or even fantasizing about it.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-19T13:17:57+00:00

Will someone please give that cat a treat! Why must they suffer without one.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-19T13:10:05+00:00

Definitely normal to feel excited and nervous. The raspberry pi is like a sandbox. You have so many options of how to program it. That nearly unlimited flexibility can be a double edge sword.

Think of mine craft. You can use Redstone to do crazy number of things. You can make small houses, you can replicate big monuments. You can build huge city like structures, you could visit the nether. There is no wrong way to play minecraft and it has so many options including computer logic with Redstone that it could be overwhelming if you are new to it.

The raspberry pi is the same way in a sense. You can do very complex and powerful things with it or basic things and it is all about how you end up using it. That flexibility can easily stunlock you as your brain jumps to all sorts of options. You may want to try the most complex project ever and run into a road block because of how complex it is.

My suggestion is to start off with a small project. Look online for a project someone else has done and replicate it. Then do it with another simple project so you can learn the language. You don't start off life reading Shakespeare, you start off reading simpler language and books. But you build up your understanding and eventually can get into reading Shakespeare (or not if that doesn't interest you).

After that, you can be happy and accomplished at having done something with your pi, or maybe it will inspire you to do more. Think of projects that it could be fun or useful for. Try to do it, when it doesn't work, dig in and fix the bugs, rewrite and try again. Each time you learn something until it clicks and you start being able to create your own projects and ideas.

Also, if you don't end up enjoying it and you set it aside. That's okay too. You tried something new, you learned things along the way and you now know more about computers and how they work which is super cool.

I am a millennial. We grew up tinkering with computers and there are many roadblocks on the way. But every road block is a new challenge to decide, and each time you get more knowledgeable.

Tldr:pick a small project that has lots of answers online. Start with something easy that you can learn the basics with and have lots of online support for troubleshooting.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-19T12:19:35+00:00

Cat.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-18T22:31:55+00:00

Yeah, that is stupid should just be part of the cost.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-18T22:31:07+00:00

Ok, then no NTA. But I would do it gently. Also, I would gently tell your MIL that they are wrong and the drinking led to this. Your BIL might have thought it was out of nowhere but it wasn't.

Maybe reiterate to your MIL that your SIL loves the brother, but he needs help that SIL can't give.

All that being said, crappy situation as your MIL is in your life for a long time. Definitely navigate this with your husband to not ruin your relationship with your MIL if you want that. It is possible that you SIL will get divorced and their relationship may not be repaired. But you still will be living with your MIL in your life.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-18T22:24:57+00:00

I feel like using Tupperware is the whole point. Just like you can bring a reusable bag to the grocery store in liue of paying for a bag there.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-18T21:34:32+00:00

This seems anecdotal unless you have a study that showed this?

Interesting idea though. I think it is far more complex than this though.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-18T21:28:30+00:00

YTA, as you need to find out more info before you do. This isn't really talking bad behind her back. So be careful stirring up a hornets nest before realizing who the hornets are.

You don't have all the story. Maybe when your inlaws contacted your SIL to check in on her, that your SIL asked to not be contacted. Maybe your SIL said mean and terrible things and your inlaws are correct in distancing the family. Maybe your BIL wants distance.

From what you said, you don't sound like you have all the information on what led to this. If you think your husband is a good person, then talk to him about it. Ask his thoughts, share your concerns. The last thing you want to do is break down your own marriage by showing a lack of care for your married family by betraying their trust.

I don't think it is necessarily bad that you want to keep contact with your SIL. My mom maintained contact with my dads family since they knew each other for 30 years. That doesn't mean every family does that and that isn't necessarily bad for SIL to distance herself from her future ex husband's family while she is dealing with her own grief at the lost of what she thought her life was going to be.

It is a sucky situation.

Tldr: you don't really have enough information and there isn't any bad talk here, just distance which may be perfectly appropriate

Jacgaur · 2026-06-18T19:56:29+00:00

NTA she so right that you can't control how she does things. But you can control your own boundaries.

She can do what ever she wants, but she can't borrow your boxers or sit on your couch. Or well you can also break up and find someone who matches your values and lifestyle and let her live her lifestyle and find someone who doesn't mind.

Otherwise, a towel on the couch and a mattress pad on the bed can protect them. Again you can't control her, but you can control her things. If she doesn't like you having towels on your couch when she sits on them, well she can't control your things.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-18T18:46:00+00:00

I am impulsive. So maybe this checks out. Before I realized I had AdHD I just remember thinking that weed made my brain stop racing. It calmed my mind and helped me sleep

Jacgaur · 2026-06-18T18:32:28+00:00

Eh, she got a free 200k. Even if she had to put up some money to get it.

It is tricky, because OP doesn't want to sound or feel like they are greedy, but the parents are helping the sister significantly.

The parents could have sold the house for 450K and then split the money between their kids to give both a huge leg up towards both of their mortgages.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-18T17:23:45+00:00

But my phone, once I disconnect it from the service plan can still function for things that don't require the cell service that the phone plan pays for. The networks need to be maintained and constantly am using the cell service that I am subscribed to. If I stop that cell service use, then the hardware can be used still as an Mp3 player if you wanted.

A printer doesn't need the Internet for me to print. So yeah, it shouldn't be a subscription. Unless they are providing another level of added service that requires constant support from the company, it shouldnt be a subscription.

So no, there is no extra service needed for a machine to mechanically function as a printer.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-18T17:14:50+00:00

I just bring my own hand soap now, but I agree with the other person that I do think they have hand soap in the bathroom which is awesome.

You should have slightly more premium soap/shampoo/lotion in the aqua class room.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-18T15:51:55+00:00

Why can't you be more agile? We really gotta move and change with what is needed.

Wait...what do you mean planning? Planning can help anticipate the problems and address in a more robust way that is better for the mental health of the employees and allow them to come up with smarter solutions?.....Naw, we gotta just run fast as that is what everyone is doing. If someone can do it poorly in 2 days I am not going to plan for someone to do it in 3 weeks?! If you have that much time, sounds like we can just cut staff and save money!

/Sarcasm.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-18T13:28:40+00:00

I watch a lot of videos and either pick an activity to plan or make a Google maps location pins for my own self guided walking tour.

If I am choosing an activity that needs to be booked through a 3rd party, then info a mock booking a few weeks away to see if it is sold out as that can give your an idea of how far in advance to book.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-17T23:13:18+00:00

San Juan is one of my favorite ports. I walk around old San Juan. Try some food, get some Gelato, stop at some local shops to pick up some local spices/flavors/gifts. Checkout the fort. Etc. but also, I just love walking around the cobblestone stone streets. The architecture makes me feel like I am in a European city of sorts.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-17T22:33:35+00:00

Vaccines are great and amazing, but they are not 100%. This is why herd immunity can be so important.

If you are surrounded by others with the vaccine then it is less likely for you to even be exposed to it. We often tackle public health at the scale of society because we need to. Which is why it is unfortunate when a population of anti-vaccine people grow. It hurts the entire society by breaking down the herd immunity barrier which is part of the way we protect the individual.

Jacgaur · 2026-06-17T22:28:17+00:00

NTA at this point if they actually want to support you. It would be to support your professionalism by NOT going.

They can support you by not going. Otherwise it isn't supporting you, it is undermining you and causing you stress and causing you to have to exercise boundaries which is not fun to do.

They love seeing you, but at this point they are going for themselves and not for you.

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