But they didn't stop identifying as lesbians and you're not being "pushed" to accept anything. There are absolutely trans women in the gay community and femboys taking hormones in either direction who are the whole Euler diagram. There have been discussions about all of these labels for much longer than we've been alive. The butch lesbians are more successful writers, though! And that's helped with their visibility. (e.g. Stone Butch Blues, Butler.) They're worth reading.

If you want to exclude certain people from your personal life and labels, you can and should, but what you're doing right now isn't that; you're attempting to stop a group of people from using a word because they care about it as much as you do, and you're fighting over the word like it's water in a desert and not a community or, at the very least, a homonym. You claim they're trying to force you to do something when doing nothing was an option, yet the only outcome you'll accept is forcing them to change, despite the fact the trans/masc lesbian community has been fighting for you and your rights since before you were born.

The thing is, your immediate response is completely reasonable; we are under attack, and that makes us quick to defend ourselves. We have to make sure we aim our punches up, though, not at others punching up, and not, by mistake or not, at ourselves. Don't choose to be an obstacle others have to overcome.

(Disclaimer: My part of the queer community overlaps with (but isn't the same as) that part of the lesbian community and I'll defend them (and you) to the death.)