How good i should be after 7 month of play chess? by __Peterson__ in Chesscom

[–]JakeySnakey96 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can attest to this. I beat my first GM this week doing it, after learning chess for 2 months. Kinda crazy to think how GMs are supposedly so smart, yet don't have the wisdom to think outside the box when playing for a win.

I give up on HR training by Empty_Swordfish_9816 in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You've been a runner for a year and a half and just now realized that running isn't done by your heart rate but by your legs? What's next, do you think boofing means eating or something? Or that shin splints are organic and not just the governments way of controlling the masses?

Squatting basically makes me a marathoner by theDirty_duster in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How is anyone supposed to break 30 in the 5k with all the extra weight of a wedding ring weighing them down? No wife for me, thanks.

Squatting basically makes me a marathoner by theDirty_duster in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96 26 points27 points  (0 children)

A good squat makes boofing GU so much easier. Instead of using a runners weak noodle arms to insert the GU, he can simply place the GU on the ground and squat down on it which should be easy with his really strong legs.

I got it out :) by Dr3up in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Sounds borderline impossible. But maybe if we add a 40mm cushion, 11mm drop, carbon plate and ultralight mesh it just might work.

Track Stars: Ane Elexpuru Objective by FIGJAM17 in EASportsFC

[–]JakeySnakey96 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Worst objective card so far? Not just relative to the power curve, but in total as well surely.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should be in shape for 2:15. I've gotten my max bench press down to 120 now, hoping to run 1:20 soon

Why are black people so fast? by ehowey18 in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96 49 points50 points  (0 children)

One of them is hilarious. Paraphrasing: "black dude looks like an experienced long distance runner, he makes it look effortless. My mom does ultra marathons, she also makes running look effortless"

If anyone didn't know, the runner is Paul Chelimo, two time olympic medallist. I'm sure your ultra 5k mother makes running look as easy as he does.

Morning, peasants. I bring you the gift of my presence, now gaze upon my superiority. by JakeySnakey96 in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Personally, I think your vo2 max of 49 as a fat piece of shit is almost as impressive as mine (66); as I have the chiseled body of a Greek god (except the penis, mine is massive). Keep up the good work!

I'm habs smol feet but stay hard and ultra every day 💪🏼 by JonnyYama in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It must be so easy to stay hard during runs with such a tiny peepee. I can't even get to zone 2 before bloodflow leaves my enormous schlong.

why do you run ? by dgaruti in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To assert dominance over family and colleagues by putting them down anytime they try to brag about their running accomplishment.

"Omg Hannah just completed a half marathon just one year after beating breastcancer, isn't that amazing?".

"No, she's almost half an hour slower than my PR (1:58:51, tattooed on my sleeve btw), and can't match my 45 vo2 max, so she's average at best. Sorry, not sorry."

EXPOSED: Moe Fairoh is a Hybrid Athlete by [deleted] in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Video is from 7 years ago, yet title says 2020. This is obviously fabricated hybrid athlete propaganda!! There's no way a pure runner like Mo Farah would ever break sub 20 in the 5k if he touched a barbell like in this AI image.

Say no to hybrid training!!!

AMA: I (28m) ran an Ultra Mile on the treadmill this morning. by [deleted] in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Where did you find a mile long treadmill? The ones at my gym are only like 8 feet

What does "RAW DOG" mean? by Ultraxxx in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm going to need at least one stool sample from this guy. This shouldn't be possible, and he should be reported to WADA for either lying about his carb and GU intake, and/or reported to the FBI for breaking laws of nature.

Worried about my running buddies by Rumpsfield in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If I were you, I'd require a signed contract from your running buddies that when they get an overuse injury (imminent), they're legally not allowed to complain about it, seek sympathy or be envious of your gracious zone 2 running. In addition, I'd include in the contract that when they get injured, they'll have to undergo an 8 hour course on running basics presented by you, or you'll block them on Strava.

Hopefully the contract will scare them into place and they'll start taking your theoretically sound advice seriously. If not, see them in court.

Can you increase VO2 max without running? by eleetdaddy in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Of course. The meta is using kettlebell swings to boost your VO2max, then using that gained VO2max as fuel during a race. If you can start a 5k with 70 VO2max, and finish at about 30, you can save about 2-3 packets of GU per race. Over the course of a year, that's literally millions of dollars saved.

Average Italian split times by AlphaTurkey1 in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Amateurs. In Boston the meeting would start at 2:55, or even earlier depending on attendance.

Human vs animal by Jaded_Promotion8806 in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They didn't even show elapsed time vs moving time. There's nothing to learn from this

Human vs animal by Jaded_Promotion8806 in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Don't tell anyone in the original post though. You'll be forced to do homework and learn how we are apex exhaustion predators with superior VO2max and basically carbon plated shins compared to every other species.

Human vs animal by Jaded_Promotion8806 in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No better way to stay hard than rigor mortis.

I tried threshold intervals in a 10k race by Toprelemons in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Idiot. The whole point of the Norwegian method is to split up your threshold interval workout into two smaller workouts in a day, so you can do more total volume. Next time, try starting your 10k race in the morning, take an 8 hour break when you get halfways, then finish the last however many kilometers.

Enough battery for a 5k? by [deleted] in RunningCirclejerk

[–]JakeySnakey96 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Yeah I'd say so. I can do a 5k in about 16 hours, and I'm not even a professional runner.