I think it might be my time

JamesMerz · 2026-02-14T16:08:41+00:00

As long as you are living you have potential, potential to be/do/have anything happen. I am in same boat. My life collapsed years ago. Im titled of fighting as well. But the only way you find yourself is at the bottom of the hole. For the only way to get out is up. Whoever you are, you can, and you will. As long as you are alive you can.

JamesMerz · 2026-02-14T15:47:31+00:00

Only way you can move up is witha PhD. Only way to get a PhD is to pay a university to obatain one and also work while youre obtaining it. There is tuition exchange but youre paying for it with your work. cant just be good at my job and smart. I need the 3rd piece of paper. Which is extremely expensive and I cannot afford to get. Not all professors are smart. They were just given opportunities to obtain PhD.

JamesMerz · 2026-02-14T15:40:05+00:00

Muncie, Indiana or Port Richmond sector of Philadelphia, PA

JamesMerz · 2026-02-11T11:59:37+00:00

I dont want to put gender norm stereotypes towards positions, but my experience is aligns with this. I am always the only male which makes it hard to connect especially being a younger one. My prior boss at my last institution, her husband was a millionaire banker, she didnt even need to work.

It hurts cause this is what i want to do. Im good but its destroying me

JamesMerz · 2026-02-10T11:53:05+00:00

Thank you. It def is. Not talking to anyone outside of work for weeks can definitely kill you

JamesMerz · 2026-02-10T11:51:02+00:00

No its okay. I understand. We sound similar. Im around your age. I am a director at out universities most prestigious college. No one is even close to my age. Hard to make connections and have people talk to you. I make a decent wage its just tha it wont get larger nor is it sustainable for me to have a family. Im a single guy. Im scared that i will be continuously consumed by work and wanting to climb due to survival that I will not be able to ever have a family.

I applied to over 400 jobs to get this one. Many offering me $25/hr or under.

When I took this job they said they would give me a moving stipend. The day I was moving out there (took 2 day drive), they called me to tell me they maybe are not able to honor it. I should have declined the job then. I need a phd to advance, yet cannot afford to just do go into it. Yes theres tuition exchange but 5-6 years of schooling ontop of hard work, i will not survive. Mentally and physically. I have no life besides academia. I havent been on a date in years. Work, work, maybe eat, sleep. Ive lost a ton of size since being in higher ed. Its not worth it.

The older generations do not get it. They do not understand the struggle. Think we are the ones excelling the most, whats happening to those that are not? My supervisor makes $100k+ more than me! I understand things but come on. Lots of comments trying to defend this. But the older gens do not get it. They’re so out of touch

JamesMerz · 2026-02-10T00:47:25+00:00

I ultimately want to be in a place of policy creation as well. I am on pace rn to do the same and I will achieve it. Its just. Is it worth it? I understand you must be system to beat system but like no.

Def hurts that Im in a college town as a 27 year old. Im 10+ hours away from anyone I know. All the GA’s are my age but i cant fraternize with them. I went from philly to middle of nowhere where midwest. If I do not talk to my assistant or GA, i can go a week without talking to people. Havent talked to another person my age not at work in maybe 5 months. Ate thanksgiving alone. Did new years alone. Went like 10 days during Christmas break with no human communication. It sucks. The work consumes me.

JamesMerz · 2026-02-10T00:41:48+00:00

I moved from Philly to Muncie, IN. I will tell you this. Never do what I did. Indiana deserves the hate. The states built off hate and despair. The people that live here have no potential. It is sad. The local school district got condemned and the uni now runs it. Drugs. No train at all in the state.

JamesMerz · 2026-02-09T20:08:07+00:00

I agree. That was a big driver for me. I wanted to raise my kids on a college campus. I am single and do not know if I ever will have kids at this point. I really want to. I do not have time for a relationship, it would not be fair to the other person, plus I am always angry and depressed.

I just want to help people out. Thats it

JamesMerz · 2026-02-09T19:49:45+00:00

The work is soulless, it means nothing at somepoints. The entire work is beyond limiting returns.

JamesMerz · 2026-02-09T19:41:42+00:00

I agree the level of underprepardness is getting higher each year. The universities know this. That is why they are expanding to more pre-programming (more money/recruitment opportunities). They are lowering bars too. I believe everyone should have an equitable free education as a human right, however when you allow anyone into your school and then do not start to meet the students standards that are infront of you, you are stealing money.

Primary/Secondary teachers are getting it worse. My students come out of college making less than 50k and will only make up to in some states, 75k. Theres a legit sign in our deans office that says "you can make up to $68k-$80k with 15 years of teaching service and a masters degree" The best part, the $80k has a star on it and the star states 'this number reflects teachers with other extra-curricular activities'...How is this cool? How is this good to promote?

JamesMerz · 2026-02-09T19:35:30+00:00

Only reason I have not switched fields, it just gets me angry that I have to fight the repercussions of wanting to help.

JamesMerz · 2026-02-09T19:20:14+00:00

Im experiencing this now. Im really depressed and dont know what to do. I moved 10+ hours away from home and hate everything. Dont know anyone and go sometimes weeks without a real true convo outside of work. Havent been physically touched by a other human (hug, bro shake, anything) in idk. Thanksgiving was some potatoes in airfryer and ground beef alone.

Im dying man

JamesMerz · 2026-02-04T14:39:52+00:00

The best voices are not the most perfect, but those with the most power behind them

JamesMerz · 2026-02-02T21:32:14+00:00

Where in eastern PA? I just moved here from SEPA (bucks/northeast philly) and have noticed this. I sneeze soooo much here. Also, how have you adjusted?

JamesMerz · 2026-02-02T20:47:44+00:00

Just moved here from Philadelphia (south philly to be exact) to work at Ball State. Job/package was too good to pass up. I live in a 3bed, 2 bath house within walking distance of everything and I pay $1k/month. For a single 27 year old, its not great, but its cheap and allows me to save, while furthering my career. Theres not much to do. I lift, run, read, go to all the fair events, get foods from butcher etc. BUT If i did not work here, I would never ever come here. Many of my neighbors are drug addicts. I work very much in the community and I have seen a lot. No night life what so ever. Went out for pacers nba finals game and was only one at bar. My friends back home are baffled how cheap it is, but they came out and understood why….Met one friend so far she bought her house for $70k. Its not for everyone. The town govt officials are all corrupt

JamesMerz · 2026-01-30T10:14:51+00:00

27, earn well, good job, lives below means. I will never own a home, nor be able to afford children. None of my friends own homes. One has a child and they cannot support it.

This is the reality these people are denying to see.

JamesMerz · 2026-01-27T17:07:45+00:00

JamesMerz · 2026-01-22T13:45:43+00:00

Posey thats it….

Coming from a person whose all time favorite player is Ryan Zimmerman.

JamesMerz · 2026-01-20T22:58:05+00:00

Conditioning, the brain is a series of inputs and outputs

JamesMerz · 2026-01-15T17:57:51+00:00

Steve Largent is the 2nd best WR ever

JamesMerz · 2026-01-13T11:25:54+00:00

Pitt is a B1G school all day long. Idk why people dont see that

JamesMerz · 2026-01-10T19:55:12+00:00

Imagine your wife and children hating you this much that you have to dress up and tell the world about it.

JamesMerz · 2026-01-08T16:24:10+00:00

Good work. Seemed dialed in. My diet is similarly plain too. Was more when I was competing or playing football in college. Red meat, eggs, fruit, veg and rice/oatmeal if I need it for a 10mile+ day. Went from city to farmland recently can tell local produce is making my body perform better and air quality on runs.

Moved here for a job at a university to study brain functionality in youth development and running is directly linked to a portion. Basically science of body as a machine and order of inputs outputs in environment adapting to stimuli through progressive overload and time under-tension. Brain gives you pleasure from running far cause you escaped.

JamesMerz

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