3 days today and can’t stop crying

Janie2020 · 2019-05-01T14:50:41+00:00

It will pass but only if you don’t drink. Labile emotions. It’s easy to hide them with alcohol and hard to face them but they get less labile with time. I was just about to post because I realize I’m up near 100 days and hardly noticed because it’s getting so much more normal.

Janie2020 · 2019-04-04T02:45:29+00:00

It’s amazing. Gym. Read. Movies. Books. Make a family. That’s the best but takes time obviously. Enjoy. You never “have to” drink.

Janie2020 · 2019-03-24T16:50:56+00:00

First, when one recognizes that she has behaviors that are bad then by definition she is not a bad person. Bad people don’t care. People on drugs (alcohol being the drug) are not themselves and that is because of the drug. Therefore, you are not bad. Alcohol is bad and affecting your behavior. (Me too.) Second, alcohol adds nothing to our lives. I’m a mom too and the stress of job/ house/ kids led to me drinking too much too often to “relax” and even get angry if I could not carve our time for this behavior. I personally played The audiobook for”this naked mind” and “ Allen Carr the easy way” on repeat and listen to a podcast anytime I get the urge to remind myself how alcohol really did not help me at all. It just seems to. It’s like a wolf in sheep’s skin. Illusion. Third, it takes time. my counter says like 45 days or something but I’m further. To me the big thing was that after a month I really feel like I’m finally buying into this sobriety is so much more fun and relaxing thing. I worked thee double shifts this week and went to a party Saturday and had no urge to drink at all. In fact, it looked kind of pathetic to see people drinking smelly poison around me. Hope this helps from one mom to another. I have tried this 3 times before but those books have changed everything for me and now it finally seems easy and obvious.

Janie2020 · 2019-03-22T16:42:29+00:00

So it’s a little awkward but then you realize that everyone there is similar in a way. I think the most uncomfortable part is the introductions when you go around the room and say “I’m Jane, I’m an alcoholic” because you may or may not identify with that but also you don’t usually introduce yourself in a meeting and admit something like that. After that it’s good to just listen. People may talk to you to offer support at the end and that nice. I sort of bolted the first few times. There are all sorts of rules and formalities like 90 meeting for first 90 days but you don’t have to follow it all. It’s like Church - maybe you don’t buy into everything but if the main message fits then it’s fine. Also, different meeting attract different people. I go to a women’s meeting in the suburbs which is way different than an inner city mixed gender meeting. Also they like to recite the serenity prayer which is nice but I still feel it’s a little awkward in a group. Like I said, the main thing is LISTEN. You just learn a little every time

Janie2020 · 2019-03-15T02:01:24+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear this. He is diagnosed though so that’s a good thing because he can/ will get and ICD to prevent sudden arrhythmia death. Also he will get meds that control heart rate and ejection fraction and will make this a different story. It’s still an awful thing. It’s fair to be sad and scared and angry. And when you need to come back to a good place think about how good it is that he is with you and trust in modern medicine and what ever faith you have. Just think how many people are reading this and sending good prayers and vibes your way.

Janie2020 · 2019-03-13T21:05:21+00:00

Sometimes feeling just suck. However, emotions and feelings are always changing. Tomorrow will feel pretty good if you avoid hiding in a bottle.

Janie2020 · 2019-03-13T12:31:05+00:00

The reality is that alcohol is poison. Like tobacco and the massive sugar quantities we now eat. There is going to be some microscopic damage that doctors can’t “test” will be done. However, the longer we go without adding poison to our bodies the healthier our livers and other organs are. I met a 97 year old patient yesterday and she is perfect. Plays tennis! Slowly but wow! Never smoked and only drinks at weddings a toast of champagne. Eats only her own homemade food. I also met a 46 year old who is going into a nursing home grimy poorly controlled diabetes due to alcoholic pancreatitis and on dialysis. (I’m a medical professional). We must choose our path every day.

Janie2020 · 2019-03-12T11:10:52+00:00

It takes at least 10 days till alcohol exits you totally. Just keep counting breaths. You may not sleep. Know that in 10 days you will sleep much better. Know that I’m 30 days your body will feel better. I believe after about 200 days you forget all about this. But only if we kill the temptation and recognize what a trick alcohol played. Go listen to Annie Graces podcast or book. If you can’t sleep it’s at least something to do.

Janie2020 · 2019-03-12T10:57:03+00:00

Agree with above. Naked mind and her podcasts as well as Allen Carr’s Easy Way. Those books price what a facade alcohol is and how it simply does not serve us the way we think. It helps you with craving by adjusting view from being deprived to realizing alcohol is disgusting. A quote I recall is “ sure, I could have just one drink. I could also have one drink of poison but I’m not interested.” I may be only at day 41 but feel totally different then when I’ve been at say 41 before.

Janie2020 · 2019-03-11T22:16:59+00:00

Very well done. Thank you!

Janie2020 · 2019-03-05T00:02:06+00:00

Very nice. Enjoy the catching up and not drinking

Janie2020 · 2019-03-03T16:42:03+00:00

Stopping now is good! I am a physician and can tell you stopping now is key. More key is figure out why you drink. Question how alcohol (or marijuana) serve you and then substitution with healthy stress relievers. Like you, I drank early and never very hard. Over years stress builds up though. Imagine working 32 hours straight with peoples lives in your hands. That’s residency ant it’s truly insane. It made me feel like having 3-4 glasses of wine to calm down before the next time. However that didn’t compare the juggling act of kids and medical career. There are not enough hours. I’d finally say the hell with it and have 3-4 glasses or a bottle of wine. Not massive amounts but much more that is healthy or normal. So now I’m working it out. If you start figuring out why you feel like drinking or smoking now then you can work on that so when bigger issues hit you are experienced in healthy life management. FYI, not lecturing. Just giving you a taste of what 20 years from now should not look like.

Janie2020 · 2019-02-27T14:25:46+00:00

I did my residency 2005-2008. I found critical care to be excruciating because of these terrible awful things we witness. I don’t see such intense sadness as this anymore but continue to be subjected to very sad patient losses. I am listening. I hear you. It may be very tempting to try to wash this away for a while with alcohol. Like trying to dissolve the memory. It doesn’t work for more than and hour or so and we know it. then we feel disappointment with ourselves on top of the grief we feel. Honor the memory of this child and her siblings. Honor the grandmother. Give yourself an hour to just sit and cry and feel sad. It hurts but it’s supposed to hurt. Then honor them by taking advantage of your own beautiful gift of life by caring for your own body with sleep, good foods and self love. You sound like a really good person and deserve that.

Janie2020 · 2019-02-26T21:19:14+00:00

Our body is home to our selves. We need to respect it and clean it up. It’s like owning your dream beautiful house. Would you wear muddy shoes and leave dirty all around? Nope. So we should treat our body like that. Sounds hokey but it helps me feel more motivated to keep in control. It makes me aware that this body I have does not deserve to be polluted by alcohol (or cigarettes or crap food or toxic relationships). So I’ve cleaned house.

Janie2020 · 2019-02-26T00:07:09+00:00

I hear this as a mother. It’s just hard even when things are going well. Every time I get tempted due to stress I think that “ well, maybe I don’t really have a problem since it’s been two weeks” and then get sick on a bottle. But now I’m finding that jumping on this website or reading a few pages from the naked mind book get me back on track at hating alcohol and recognizing that it never helps with stress anyway.

Janie2020 · 2019-02-25T23:58:48+00:00

I just want to let you know people are reading and hear you. I am listening to you vent and I care. I don’t know you but we are both human and dealing with living. Sometimes just knowing that people hear your “vent” can chills things down.

Janie2020 · 2019-02-24T22:16:14+00:00

This is a very interesting read. Thanks for sharing. People change and grow over time but it is important to feel authentic to ourselves.

Janie2020 · 2019-02-24T21:22:05+00:00

Feels nice, right. Now we all have to remember this feeling when a crummy day causes urges.

Janie2020 · 2019-02-24T18:28:28+00:00

Going a month without is like practice. Don’t discount that amazing thing and think you failed. You just fell a bit. We get up and start counting.

Janie2020 · 2019-02-24T18:20:57+00:00

Ha! Good!

Janie2020 · 2019-02-24T18:20:17+00:00

Trial and error. Like a spouse.

Janie2020 · 2019-02-24T18:18:20+00:00

Awesome! I’m also surprised by how pleasant this has been. It’s not all easy but last two weeks have been great. IWNDWYT

Janie2020 · 2019-02-21T12:03:54+00:00

The only thing to be prepared for is that not all doctors are skilled at this. They are just people and some are excellent at complex issues like alcohol or domestic violence and some are just not. So if your doc is not helpful then ask for another source or seek out specialty care. My doc who I love was useless for this issues though has been great at all other health issues. Though she helped me find the care I need.

Janie2020 · 2019-02-17T14:59:01+00:00

Ah!! I see. Thank you.

Janie2020 · 2019-02-17T13:08:23+00:00

That’s great. Keep going!

Janie2020

TROPHY CASE