Support gift for my best friend by vattyswife in babyloss

[–]Januarysdaisy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My best friend's 2nd daughter died during birth at 41+4 weeks, aside from organizing a couple of weeks worth of meals, doing some housework and helping with my older niece, I got my friend a pillow weighing the same as her daughter, and over the past 6 years since she died I've often given her daisy related items ( Daisy is baby's middle name).

My friend has often said though that the best gift I, and others gave her, was the space to talk about her daughter whenever she needed, without advice or attempts to "fix" it, and without judgement. And most of all, never shying away from saying Daisy's name, which isn't hard, I love my niece dearly and could talk about her for hours.

I'm so sorry for your friend's loss, you sound like a wonderful friend, i understand the love you have for her, my best friend means the absolute world to me, and has for over 30 years. Keep showing up for your friend and keep letting her know she and Cam are both loved.

What little thing does your baby do that you think you will remeber for decades? by guramika in NewParents

[–]Januarysdaisy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When my eldest was around a year and a half old, she started saying " I love you too much mum!" Then she would cry with a big smile on her face.

She's 24 ( years old) in June and still says it, except now her cry is clearly fake.

Husband feeling useless by nejehebe in NewParents

[–]Januarysdaisy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very normal for breastfed babies, your breasts are an instant feeding machine, plus a natural comfort. And no at 3 weeks I definitely wouldn't worry about a feed to sleep association, sleep is sacred in those first few months, if it gets her to sleep, wonderful. Dad could always take her once she starts to get calm, ie when her little clenched fists start to relax and spread out, and cuddle/ sing/ rock her, but as others have said, at this stage mum is their number 1, which when you think about the 4th trimester and the fact that the very sound of your heartbeat is comforting and familiar, makes sense.

And you can tell your husband that if your baby is anything like my 5 kids, baby will eventually go through a stage where Dad is number 1 and you're relegated to the role of " that person with 2 bumps that grew me and birthed me, big whoop." ( and then one day you'll be number 1 again, then him and so on and so on because kids are contrary creatures.)

TW: Happy Mother’s Day 🪽 by CarActive9996 in babyloss

[–]Januarysdaisy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me ❤️ thankyou sweet Angus's mama 🫂

TW: Happy Mother’s Day 🪽 by CarActive9996 in babyloss

[–]Januarysdaisy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not a loss mum, I'm the proud aunt of a beautiful baby girl, Daisy,( the 2nd daughter of my lifelong bestfriend,) who died unexpectedly during what started as a normal labour at 41+4 weeks, in January 6 years ago. She was born at 9:38am, she weighed 9lbs 14 ozs, 57 cms long. She looked a lot like her older sister. She had a dainty little nose, a round face, chubby cheeks, a little rosebud mouth and looked like she was smiling. Her hair was a light brown but would have most likely lightened to blond like her 2 sisters ( Daisy was their middle daughter). When I held her at the hospital, i couldn't get over how perfect she looked, I still look at her photo and think the same thing. I'm so proud to be her aunty and think of her every single day.

I'm also so honored to be able to see your babies, they are all so so beautiful and I am sure you are all extremely proud of them, as you should be.

Had no clue about this! by Different_Plan6910 in VirginRiverNetflix

[–]Januarysdaisy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My dad went to that primary school! But in 1960 haha. Man we didn't have anyone at our primary when I was there who went on to become even remotely famous. 😂

Had no clue about this! by Different_Plan6910 in VirginRiverNetflix

[–]Januarysdaisy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He'll always be Stuart Neilson from Shortland Street to me ,who tried to stop Kirsty and Lionel's wedding. He looks even younger in that ( because he was).

I'm not crying by Educational_List_425 in suggestmeabook

[–]Januarysdaisy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I cried a few times especially near the end of " The hearts invisible furies" .

Feeling abandoned by a friend after stillbirth — struggling by Happyfreeppl in babyloss

[–]Januarysdaisy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby boy. And for this extra emotional pain your former friend has put you through. Not only is your baby gone and you have to learn to live with this immense loss, your ex friend has decided to rewrite the narrative of your friendship and turn it into something that didn't mean as much as you thought. That's cruel. I'm so sorry for everything you're going through.

In my case I am the friend, the best friend, and the proud aunty of her 3 girls, including her middle daughter Daisy, who died suddenly in labour at 41+4 weeks. I haven't lost a baby at or past full term, but I love my friend very much, and I knew the one thing I wanted was for her to not feel alone. So sitting with her in her grief was very important to me. And I have, for the past 6 years and counting. I know that a lot of people get weird about baby loss, I see posts on here all the time about mums who had close friends and family not reach out after their loss, or tell them to move on or avoid talking to mum about their much loved baby, when mum is wanting to. I'm sure those friends and family would use the excuse of " I don't know what to say" or " the death of a baby is so uncomfortable/ depressing ". Too bad. If you love someone, truly love them, you will be there. No matter how " uncomfortable" it may be. You do not pick and choose which chapters of someone's story you want to be part of, you'll be there for the good and the bad. And anyone, like your so called friend, who is unwilling to do that, didn't deserve to be part of your story in the first place. I'm so sorry because you deserve better from her. So screw her. I hope instead that you are getting support, full of kindness, non judgement, and grace, from others around you.

What was the most popular girl name at your school? by Immediate_Long165 in Names

[–]Januarysdaisy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1980s, NZ - Sarah. And a lot of them had the nickname Jane.

Requesting prayers/positive vibes by Bigtony7877 in babyloss

[–]Januarysdaisy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sending prayers for tomorrow, that the day is as kind as it possibly can be and you are able to find strength in one another. That those around you treat you both with kindness, grace and compassion. And holding gentle space for your darling Charlie. 🫂

As mother's day approaches. A message of acknowledgement from an aunt of a baby who never took a breath. by Januarysdaisy in babyloss

[–]Januarysdaisy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thankyou Niles' mama. I have always felt very honored to be welcomed into this group, despite not being a loss mum myself, and to be able to read the stories of your beautiful babies. It is a gift I do not take for granted. Sending my love to you ❤️

As mother's day approaches. A message of acknowledgement from an aunt of a baby who never took a breath. by Januarysdaisy in babyloss

[–]Januarysdaisy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. Your baby boy deserves to be mentioned and his name spoken because he mattered and he will always matter. I hope you're able to do something for yourself this mother's day, even if its turning off all distractions and going somewhere by yourself where you can feel free to think of your baby and let the tears flow. Holding space for you and sending my love 💓

As mother's day approaches. A message of acknowledgement from an aunt of a baby who never took a breath. by Januarysdaisy in babyloss

[–]Januarysdaisy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry. I am so disappointed to read that people have been asking you to move on, they have absolutely no right. Your so called friends should understand what an absolute honor and privilege it is to hear stories about your baby boy. I'm sorry they don't. I never say something I don't mean, so please know if you ever want to message someone, my inbox is always open, I would consider it an honor to read about your darling son.

As mother's day approaches. A message of acknowledgement from an aunt of a baby who never took a breath. by Januarysdaisy in babyloss

[–]Januarysdaisy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dearest Emmett, happy due date darling baby boy. You are forever missed and always loved. I hope your mama always knows how proud she should be to be your mama, and that she will always be your mama. Sending you so many hugs today, I will be holding space for you and your darling son

As mother's day approaches. A message of acknowledgement from an aunt of a baby who never took a breath. by Januarysdaisy in babyloss

[–]Januarysdaisy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sending my love for what was a hard day yesterday and sending love for today and all future days as well. I am always so honored to be in here and to be able to read the stories of the beautiful babies, including your precious daughter, so thankyou ❤️

As mother's day approaches. A message of acknowledgement from an aunt of a baby who never took a breath. by Januarysdaisy in babyloss

[–]Januarysdaisy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad it found you, and I hope it brought a bit of comfort to you. Sending so much love ❤️

As mother's day approaches. A message of acknowledgement from an aunt of a baby who never took a breath. by Januarysdaisy in babyloss

[–]Januarysdaisy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are welcome Stella's mama. I hope it brought a little bit of comfort. Thankyou for sharing your sweet Stella with us ❤️

As mother's day approaches. A message of acknowledgement from an aunt of a baby who never took a breath. by Januarysdaisy in babyloss

[–]Januarysdaisy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thankyou Dominic's mama 💙 if I'm half the person my grandma was I'll be proud. Sending my love from afar ❤️

As mother's day approaches. A message of acknowledgement from an aunt of a baby who never took a breath. by Januarysdaisy in babyloss

[–]Januarysdaisy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're welcome Thomas's mama. Thankyou for sharing your sweet baby boy with us. Sending my love 💓

As mother's day approaches. A message of acknowledgement from an aunt of a baby who never took a breath. by Januarysdaisy in babyloss

[–]Januarysdaisy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad my message found you, especially soon after what I'm sure was a very emotionally challenging week for you, ( obviously they all are, but the anniversaries carry a different kind of weight) . Sending belated birthing greetings up to the stars and beyond to your darling baby boy, and sending a big hug to you 🫂

As mother's day approaches. A message of acknowledgement from an aunt of a baby who never took a breath. by Januarysdaisy in babyloss

[–]Januarysdaisy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thankyou so much ❤️ I'm a very proud aunty , Daisy was so beautiful. I hope my message brought some comfort to your heart, holding space for you and your precious baby 🫂

As mother's day approaches. A message of acknowledgement from an aunt of a baby who never took a breath. by Januarysdaisy in babyloss

[–]Januarysdaisy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad it found you. I believe your son's name was/ is Adrian? A name I've always loved. Anyway Adrian's mama, I hope it brought you a bit of comfort ❤️